Mar 30, 2013


The tight in the chest. It weighs too much. Sobbing too much.


It's cruel to let things hanging
It's cruel to make one suffer
Even for just some while
Pain. It's a constant fight against pain

Those days when all I want is to be with my Mum

Mar 29, 2013


Darlin', as bad I want to be around... there's nothing for me to do there. I'll just be here then. Till next time


I know their position, and mine to his. I'm no one to stop them, what more to stop him. I have to contain this. He's not mine to belong. It's his social life anyway. Let him live his life. I've nothing to do with it. All I could do is just sit there and swallow. It's my own suffering. I couldn't let him know.


I think I'm not ready for audit. I'm not ready to go through again that phase in the exam hall. It's frightening. As I read through the past year questions, I couldn't actually answer. For six weeks, I don't think it's enough for me to cover all.

I'm just so hopeless

Mar 22, 2013


Maybe you are the reason of failure. Maybe you should stop this. It's you who is constantly looking for him. It's you who is creating disturbance to yourself.

So now you know why people become apart. But still, in your hearts you know that it's true. So you don't need to be apart. You just don't have to constantly know of each other.

Coz in your hearts you know it's true.

Mar 20, 2013


If it just takes you further from Allah, then stop what you are doing. For the sake of Allah, you sacrifice for Him and not your own love for the dunya

Mar 17, 2013


I'm tired of crying
But it seems like it would never stop
It keeps on pouring
Tell me now how to make it stop


I know they didn't do much, but just hang around and chill. But that's what makes it fun, just to hang around and chat.

It's the fact that I missed the hang out with the persons I dear, regardless of how they are. Because they're still fun and loving to be with.

Mar 15, 2013


I love it when you call me that name. I just never hear it live

Mar 14, 2013


So I just don't know how to have fun when I don't go around taking pictures

Mar 12, 2013


And it seems like you don't know that I actually treat and appreciate you more than just a friend.

Mar 10, 2013

Guy friends

And so I realized a group of guy friends are the bomb, if and only if you choose the RIGHT group of guys.




Find love

Irony how mum and dad are not looking for happiness on the mutual thing they love. They find it separately, not together.

And so I'm afraid, would we be that way? I thought the most happiest thing is being it with the one you love?


Shut up b!tch. Who's the one changed plans last minute? I don't even care if there's food or not for me. If you're talking about money, then it's not a big deal for me to pay you back. Well then the wasting part would go back to me, I hold that sin. Not you.

Who the fck changed plans? When I've given my whole heart to today? I've packed my bags, I've gotten ready to mandi and lepak there. I was excited. When 2 am in the morning, getting the new that you changed plans, not gonna lie, I was kind of happy, but then I thought, it was upsetting that my plan for today have to be cancelled. I couldn't go there by myself. I don't know the way. I don't care if you say I'm so childish and what not, coz I won't go alone looking for the way. No.

I guess I have to be ready of what they might tease me badly. That maybe my life will be as how the ones who left are.

Indecisive b!itch. Hahah you can call me that. I know. But seriously if all the fuss was about the food and money, I never wanted the food. I don't even care. Why did you guys even gave me hope that you'd come here and we'll go together there? :(

Nevertheless, seeing how you texted me, it's because of the food. Mainly and maybe only. Haha.

Blame me, I don't care.

Mar 5, 2013

Well done

If you want her to feel pain, congratulations, you did it. She's miserable for all you know. You treat anybody else good but not her, intentionally, don't you? Congrats again for giving pain.

If she's the cause of everything you lack of, well, congratulations for making her feel like she just makes your life more of hell. If she's the reason you were not on track. If she's the reason for all your disaster. If she's the reason that you couldn't focus on more important things.


She feels so helpless to hold a heart, but unable to mend it; 'cause it just won't let her through. It just won't.


You doubted yourself but people see your potential.
Still they couldn't see the inside, of what you really feel. People don't know that you couldn't handle stress that much.
But still you won't back off because you don't want them to be left hanging. Who could possibly be helping them if not you?
You know you are kind of having regrets for turning that opportunity down. It seems like the work she gets is still the only bit of what you do. You still have huge responsibility.
Maybe not being at upperhand ease a bit of burden. But you still don't know the work you have to do. It may be bigger than what you already have. You don't know. Every thing is unsure. Just be ready that it might be heavier than you thought it'd be.
You can't have ever thing your way. Ni la namanya kuli. You just
do what the upper management tells you to do. You have been wanting to be low anyway. Just don't regret later. And it's too late to regret anyway.

Mar 4, 2013


Don't complain. Cos others are feeling the pressure too. It's just how you handle it.
Oh by the way, I miss you

Mar 3, 2013


She has come to the extent that she's ready for a huge loss, because things are getting harder between the both of you. It hurts her to hurt you, and to see you hurt. She never intended anything, it's just how she is. Then she knew, she just isn't worth to be loved by anyone else, and you.

Maybe this is how God shows that it's not the right thing.
Maybe it also means both of you have to fight harder.
Or maybe,  you just deserve someone so much better.

How long?

How long will you keep it bottled up? How long will you just be patient for all the things? How long will you let her torture you inside? You've done so much for her and all she knows is to take, and never give. How long?