Dec 24, 2016


I want to forget what happened today.


I feel nothing.

Dec 22, 2016


Idk man. To me, and for me, tunang tu tak payah kecoh. Biar parents ngan adik beradik je tahu. Kalaupun aku ada banyak duit, aku tak nak buat tunang macam ni.

Kau tengok omputeh dia jemput siapa masa wedding? Close family.

Adat tapi aku tak suka. Bukan semua adat tu bagus. Kalau adab, aku ikut.

In other way, bagus la orang tahu, boleh doakan kita. Ok fine takpe orang tahu indirectly. Bukannya official nak declare semua tu.

I've been hating weddings since my sister's. Maybe I just hate events. I don't hate marriage. I hate weddings and the concept. Tapi bagus kalau dapat jaga silaturrahim. I just plainly hate it tho #shrugs

Dec 12, 2016


It was a disaster from the beginning. But I insisted. I took the risk. As time passes by, things get more difficult. Til the day when it's finally going to come true, the bond hit rock bottom.

It's all my fault. I don't tell people. I don't consult. I don't know how to mend a broken heart. I let it be. I let them heal on their own. I show no effort.

I'm useless and helpless. Everything I imagined us to be shattered to pieces. You won't want me anymore. People change. You will feel like you want to find something that is missing. You wouldn't find it in me. In the end you would choose that person instead of me.

I'm not good enough to be held on.

I might die unmarried. Coz I wish no other than you. And hell, I will never deserve anyone. 

Oct 22, 2016


Those times when you wear a bra without the cup and especially when your boobs don't fill the bra so they turn out to look weird and shaggy

And that's one of the reason you cover your chest with hijab

Oct 18, 2016


For all I care he can marry whoever he wants. Let me just be single for the rest of my life. Simple. 

Oct 13, 2016


Kalau betul bil lektrik dah nak cecah RM400 untuk bulan ni, memang bodoh. Kalau aku tinggal sorang mesti tak sampai RM100. Heck, students tinggal sepuluh orang satu rumah pun tak sampai RM200. Memang la saving duk rumah mak ayah tapi kau tak fikir pulak makan minum bil lektrik bil air bil wifi bil bil house maintenance? Siapa yang guna rumah ni? Kau jugak. Bodoh. Kalau dah tahu tak mampu bayar, jangan guna elektrik sewenang wenang nya. Kau pakai melantak je guna elektrik tak kesian kat ayah kau. Sampai bila kau nak bagi dia menyara kau? Sampai uzur? Sampai mati? Manja sangat ngan diri sendiri nak pasang aircond. Kalau mak yang manja takpelah, ni korang yang muda. Dah lah takde initiative nak bayar. Bangang

Oct 5, 2016


I don't know. I feel so happy when I see my friends still hanging it together. Like, sabians with sabians. Kuatagh with kuatagh. UITM with UiTM. It makes me believe that people still stay throughout the years being apart.

It just give the warmth in my heart

Oct 3, 2016


I always wonder why I'm not fond with showing who my special one is. Sebab aku malu kalau tak jadi?

Now I know why. Because at the very first days of getting to know each other, he already told me to stop hoping. Posting means giving hope. 

When I tried forgetting my feelings for Ja'i, I told myself, you will stop hoping for Ja'i when you found other guy. You did found another guy to give your love. But it took a few years. And tbh it is still there. The feeling. And it hurts. The pain, the suffering of forgetting.

So now, you're asking yourself to do that to Ha? Are you kidding me? Ha is the perfect guy for you (when you minus his family and where he lives). You've known each other too well... too long...

You always wonder how it would be to be with someone else... to be with someone who looks better. But they never fit into your personality. No one can replace Ha. Ha is very special. All the daydreaming with other guys, you only give them Ha's personality.

And you can't even stand imagining Ha with someone else. You can't even imagine yourself with someone else while being the real you.

So what is going to happen now? Should you go and impress your future in laws? Or should Ha make more effort? Who's to blame here? Is it that we do have jodoh but the timing is not now?

Tbh deep down I'm okay if we don't get married yet. 25 is the limit. But also deep down I want to be free while I wait. I don't want to be tied to him. I always make myself available. Opening my heart to just anyone whom I find attractive, inside or out.

I don't know how to say no to other people who ask me about him. See, it's complicated but not. I want to marry him but I'm tired of waiting so I prefer not to be be his girlfriend or labelled as one.

I'm just not going to let the world know.

Sep 19, 2016


I always compare myself to other less fortunate people. Since the day I made complaints to mom. Coz she said she had gone through worst. What more my dad. And if my parents had gone through worst, other people have it more worst. Like how my friends are having a hard time finding jobs. Like how they have to commute via public tranport. Like how they don't have a car. Like how they are in another country far away from home.

Not only my friends but I don't have to compare so far. I just need to see my colleagues. Not all are under good situation. Some need to study, become a part time student. Some stuck with the job because of bond. Also the fact that some or most of them live by themselves, renting places while I... I have so many priviliges.

A home. A car. High pay. Free time. Parents are around. Dad sending me off and picking me up to and at  the train station. They still provide me food. I don't have to pay for the house. (But tbh I have the feel of responsibility to still give them some money and for the house).

Also I look at other people's job other than audit. Alhamdulillah I have what I have. No excuse for me for being spoiled. (Like how I had no excuse for being spoiled during MRSM days coz I have every kemudahan that my parents paid for me??)

Even more, my jobs are not that hard, you know?? Coz I have amazing managers?? Sigh.

That's why I don't complain to my colleagues and friends especially. It's not that I'm not being real. It's because alhamdulillah I have all the things even when I feel so down. 

When people ask how's audit?
Uhh yeah it's okay *shrugs* stressful but okay

And anyway honestly I forgot about sorrows when I'm in the free time mode. Seriously. I forgot most of the stressness.   It's silly but I do. 

So alhamdulillah. I'm thankful for what I already have.

Sep 17, 2016



RnR Seremban will always be nostalgic.

The place where I first drove a car. MyVi with Ann beside and someone at the back. Maybe it was Ha.

Also the fact that we were on our way back or going to Klebang. It was night time.

The fact that that was the first road trip with the people I love to hang around with.

The fact that the road trip included Ha in it, altho I was partially having a crush on Akhyar lol (which is now happily married to Ada).


I realize that people would buy what famous people are wearing. Like to me it doesn't look special at all but there are still people who would buy them lol

Sep 9, 2016


I'm the kind of person who remembers people's good deeds towards me or remembers birthdays and important dates, but doesn't show the appreciation

Like, you would think I'm an ungrateful child or student or friend but honestly I remember everything 

Sep 7, 2016


I feel left out even in my family
And the same reason this happens
Because I chose to be that way

I'm an idiot 

Sep 6, 2016


I'm done with my friends. 


Idk tbh it's slightly a disgrace to actual hijab ie covering aurah

Mata overdone, baju ada curve, lengan tangan nampak bentuknya. Yes she's pretty. Fashion. Freedom of fashion. But, just for an event? Okay

Aug 31, 2016


Sebenarnya korang tak payah duduk sini pun takpe. Bazir elektrik je :( Cuba bayangkan korang yang duduk sini, bil elektrik RM500, tapi takde siapa nak bayarkan? Aku takde. Korang nak ke duduk sini? Time tu baru tahu nak saving


Maybe you need to pay people a visit and not waiting for people to visit you. Knowing how bad a host you can be, they wouldn't even want to visit you. They wouldn't even pity you the fact that you're alone in the house.

It's sad tho. You're going to rot alone. Nobody is there but yourself and The Almighty. 

Sometimes I wish I am another person... This one is too.. pathetic. I'm upset with myself


Today a pang of realisation. That I'm in working life coz at one point ada topik yang lari dari current life 😂 

Aug 12, 2016


One glance and the avalanche drops
One look and my heartbeat stops 

Two hearts beating at one beat, faster every time you look me
Trying hard not to lose control

Wanna see the lights in your eyes
I wanna see the shadows on your face

All these lyrics that captured me lol

Jul 27, 2016


Sebenarnya time camni, aku lagi rela pergi Melbourne dan duduk je dengan kakak, layan si Ayra.

Aku tak lalu nak fikir banyak banyak walaupun apa yang kita nak buat tu jalan-jalan je. Still kena fikir macam macam. Fikir makan. Fikir transport. Keselamatan barang. Walaupun aku tak dapat list semua benda, tapi dalam benak fikiran aku ada macam macam lagi.

Mungkin sebab kerja kerja aku yang akan ditinggalkan dalam masa seminggu. Aku patut jangan fikir apa pun pasal kerja, masa aku tengah cuti. Please erin, don't spoil your holiday, don't waste your valuable time with worrying.

Jul 26, 2016


"Be good to your parents. Be good to your parents."

An enchantment that I have to tell myself every time because I'm an ungrateful child.

These past few days were filled with so many arguements with my parents that I hate myself. I wish to die for my existence just hurt people.

'Bagitahu la mak kat mana kamu kat sana nanti, kot apa apa emergency... Kalau bukan kamu yang emergency, kalau kat sini pun ada emergency?'

She was referring what if she or dad will be gone while I'm away. It's a simple thing, just respond nicely, talk nicely, and tell your plans. Easy. But I had to raise my voice at them. Why? Sebab hati tu keras.

Now I don't even feel good to travel other than to visit my sister. I feel terrible.

Jul 24, 2016


Oh man I think I made my sister mad for asking her about my friends staying the night......... T.T 

I know I shouldn't have. When they ask me to, I already know I shouldn't have. But shit I was also being emotional with the question bombarded again like she's pregnant, shouldn't you know.... 

Then again I shudve prioritize a pregnant's woman feelings first than my selfish shit 

Jul 20, 2016


I hate trends and the need to follow it lol

Jul 13, 2016


So honestly I don't wanna disturb my friend who is actually having her final exam 😑😑😑😑😑 I'm so inconsiderate sometimes.

Anyway here's the thing. I only applied for 5 days. But not for the Friday. See, my manager thinks I am chartered to another job but according to AO I'm not chartered to any. Which does not jive with the initial email....

So I'm thinking of MIA. Telling my colleague that I would be MC and she'd just keep it to herself. Idk if I would pass this time?? Idk. Kalau nak kautim ngan manager pun, masalahnya she thinks I'm chartered to another job.

So macam ni. I will pulun and do my best for this current job. Work my ass off. Bagi semua perfect. I mean... Tengok lah partner dia siapa. I don't want this to be like previous job... Menyusahkan.

And heck I don't want her to come find me on the Friday which I wouldn't be around and kantoi?

Tapi fikir balik camne chx cuti and AO check takde cuti pun 😑 lol siod je idk just be cool and do your part ok. Now you can focus on this current job! Nail it! insyaaAllah 

Jul 11, 2016


It's kind of a torment when naturally you're the type of person who is easily worried on petty things

Jul 10, 2016


Lol my cousin Kak Noren asked me kamu buat apa dengan gambar gambar tu? Tak share kat wasep ke

Bullseye! Hit straight to the core hahah 

My brother in law Hezrique also asked me that, coz he feels that I'm wasting my taleny when I can make money out of it

I think my UiTM friends also wonder the same


It's pretty sad that no one invites me.. Or ask when I would come to their house or anything like that......

Why is my life such a sad story


All the nigga dance I wish to learn 😩


I know why I don't post there. I'm afraid I won't be as cool as my friends. It destroys me

Jul 9, 2016


Ala why my cousin didn't put credits to the photographer? He deserves it. Promote his art :(


Okay from this problem, there are many possibilities.

First, Hezrique shouldn't have gone pissed off like that. Because married couples deserves their own space and not contact with their former friends. They have the right to choose. Like how you have the option to let go of things, leave things/people behind.

Unless if Epi/Ya did maki hamun Tasha and family, then something might be wrong.

To me, it's okay to putus kawan for the sake of Epi's family, even when Tasha's don't give a damn about it. It's not about masing-masing tak akan menggatal sebab dah kahwin, but it's to jaga hati what's more important to Epi. The reality of what's more important to Epi is his own family. Kena hasut atau tak kena, to me, it seems to be the right decision.

Next, the way he voice it out is very disturbing. He posted it on our family group WhatsApp, when all of us can read it, know about it, when initially we had no clue about it. It seems as if he really wants to pecah belahkan keluarga ni... Which makes it worst. Makes me more disappointed in him... No, you can't judge that a person is bad only because of one wrongdoing. They are still good at heart, I know.

I'm just really upset


Sometimes I don't agree with bridesmaids bacuse it's like a competition, like who wears it best. And kesian kat less good looking person unless among them they know each other so well and let it out because true friends/relatives are open to each other and help out each other

Jul 3, 2016


Miscommunication and misunderstanding are very dangerous

Jun 27, 2016


There are two people who I look forward to see their names appear on my notifications. My junior and my guy bestfriend.

Jun 26, 2016


I always say to myself, budak-budak sekarang ni, berfesyen macam dewasa dah. When I was their age, I didn't get the privilege. And even now, I don't wanna dress up as a lady. I'm a kid. I'm a kid.

But then, you can't have that perception because time is ever-evolving. They grow up in different surrounding than yours. You can't blame that for who they are. All you gotta do is guide them. What's more important is to make them see and judge for themselves on what's good and what's bad.


Seeing my junior getting excited to embark in so many events, it reminds me of Ainaa too. To make themselves busy and occupied. And the bonus point is, they are excited about it. The challenges, the pressure.

I had it. But I know I don't want it as much. Like, simplest example: working. Occupied, stressful, busy. Enough for the things I need to go through with work. I can't make myself involve in other stuff.

I'm too passive that I think it doesn't help my self-growth, which is so wasteful for me. What more that I plan to settle for less after marriage. Settle for what I could more with the experience and qualification. Sad isn't it?

But I do hope I would find a way to help the ummah...

#342 makeup on wedding day

I'm so undecided about make up on wedding day. Do I want to shape my eyebrows? Do I want fake eyelashes? Do I want enhanced concealer that in the end change the colour of my skin? Do I want contouring?

On the wedding the day? Which only once that my spouse to be will see me makeup. But there could be other option. I could wear makeup other days at home just for fun. Just for him. Like how some old arabs do (or still do). Berhias kat rumah. 

I know for a fact that it would look good on me, heck, on anyone. Duh it's makeup. So do I need to prove that on wedding day? Nikah day? Engagement day? 🙄 *rolls eyes* 


When your friends social networks are updated but then you know something's goin on so you don't dare to ask personally, you'll just have to assume what she has been up to lately

It's a sad case

Jun 24, 2016


Come to think of it... I guess my presence wouldn't make a difference. Because I barely talk, I just laugh... Except when they ask me something

I've been living by myself too long


Please remember not to feel butthurt when you're not invited to a hangout even if where they go is so close to your home

and when you thought you're easily remembered (like it's so close to your home!), please don't be too positive because you're not. Don't go tak ajak! Don't go weyyy dekat je

and do not forget that you chose to be silent and isolate yourself when all they did was giving each other support

Why am I feeling so dejected

#338 equation

I guess there is no me in every of your equation

Maybe I never belonged

Maybe I'm just tagging along

All this while

I'm sorry

#337 aib diri sendiri

"Hide your sins: Prophet ﷺ warned: “All of my nation will be will be forgiven except for those who make their sins public”."

Jun 22, 2016


You know there is actually something called tipu sunat to jaga hati orang......

Even if it's Ha....
Even if it's your close friends especially.....

I think I will just choose to be this lonely again even after what I've gone through in university....

I'm bad to think my friends think badly of me like why can't I bersangka baik...

But I just feel so left out. Mad might understand so well of this hm


It was what I chose. And this is true... Allahu


I asked my cousin Din about this. Said that ada banyak pandangan. And he told me a new pandangan that I haven't found on google.

And it's something like manusia pun macam syaitan juga, sebab berbuat dosa. And I found this blog which says almost the same thing.

"Manusi sendiri mempunyai hawa nafsu yang boleh menyebabkan kita melakukan pelbagai perkara maksiat. Bellakunya sesuatu maksiat bukanlah hanya disebabkan hasutan syaitan semata, tetapi dikait rapat dengan hawa nafsu manusia yang kotor. Ada orang cakap, selama 11 bulan nafsu berguru dengan syaitan, maka sebulan tanpa syaitan pun sudah boleh menjadikan nafsu itu raja dalam diri kita.Maka, dengan itu.. renung-renungkanlah. Segala maksiat dan kejahatan datangnya dari diri kita yang hina ini juga. Jauhkanlah sebaik mungkin, dengan hanya menyucikan hati InsyaAllah Nafsu yang selama ini tunduk pada syaitan akan beralah lalu menuju ke arah kebaikkan."

#333 sharing

You know what? I think Imma start sharing my thoughts on certain things on Twitter so that people could engage in a discussion with me. Either constructive or destructive, it's cool. Coz the knowledge I have are not necessarily correct. And people have different views.

#332 Hugging bf vs brother

Jun 21, 2016

#331 friends

You know what sucks lately? That I have to be the friend that goes like, it's okay she won't terasa, she will understand, she will be around. Because they have to layan the one that if they don't layan, s/he will terasa and bother them and ruin their friendship.

Okay so maybe they don't think of me that way but yeah whatever.

I guess I'll just be here.
Oohhh here.

#330 sedekah

I can't remember where I heard this from but I think it was from ikim fm. It's about sedekah. Dia cerita yang sekarang ni senang nak sedekah. Online je. Transfer je. Tak payah susah susah nak keluar. Bagus kita dapat sedekah.

Tapi dengan cara ni, kemanisan bersedekah tu macam tak tersampai. Sebab bila kita beri sedekah depan depan, kita dapat kesedaran untuk lagi bersyukur, setelah apa situasi yang kita lihat di hadapan kita. Kita dapat rasa empathy terhadap orang yang kekurangan. Dapat bagi sokongan depan depan kat diorang, bukan hanya sekadar duit.

Writing this made me think of giving money to your parents. Aku teringat akan drama drama pasal anak bagi duit tapi tak meluangkan masa bersama ibu bapanya. Apa yang ibu bapa rasa? Kekosongan. Duit kau tu tak berguna bagi diorang. Diorang nak kasih sayang kau, yang lagi penting.

Macam tu lah juga situasi dalam bersedekah kepada yang kekurangan. Kita beri kebahagiaan kepada mereka. Show that we care. Tu la bagus kalau kita sertai program program pasal sedekah ni, bukan sekadar memberi wang sahaja.


#329 road etiquettes

A man literally rolled the window down and yelled 'Hey bodoh!!!!!' Because we were kind of blokcing the road at the round about but sir, with all due respect, kau expect aku nak stop tengah jalan dan halang kereta lain?? Ambik la space kat blakang aku tu untuk jalan. Ce istighfar sikit

Jun 20, 2016

#328 Baju kurung

Today my dad praised me wearing baju kurung

"Elok kamu pakai baju kurung, erin. Cantik.. Nampak la feminin.."

I agree tho. Memang baju kurung lawa. Just that susah nak ada baju kurung yang aku suka. This one is gonna be my fav.

Jun 19, 2016

#327 Warcraft 2016

Can't get over the movie Warcraft. Love the plot. Love the placing like how things are at places yakno. Like how when you raid a town, and another town is also being raided. Like how it looks as tho others are healing m, regaining HP before continuing the attack. Like how it takes time for you to cast a spell. Like how a spell can be broken if it all fails. Like how the new guardian has leveled up. Like how it takes time for you to teleport to another place. Also how a spell can easily be casted upon a shallow minded person like how a Jedi can easily manipulate those with weak minded 😭😂

Love the casts too like omg Lothar is so handsome, his eyes!!! Blue sparkling eyes!! Oh I knew there would be something going on between him and gorano? I forgot her name. Just by the way he gets her dressed upnfor the war, I could see the sexual tension there 🙊

Khadgar at first I thought he doesn't fit the character like whybdin younpick a more hot guy but no, as the story goes, his feature really serves the character. And he is indeed good looking. I bet he will gain more popularity after that mlvie.

Love the female orc tho. Gorano (?). Nice choice. Reminds me of the woman char in Guardians of the Galaxy, which the similarity is both are niggas. But whatever. Love her.

I'm sad to see Durathon and Darka dead tho.

The king and queen not that fond of but okay.

Medivh!!!! Why do you have to be the bad guyyyy. I loved him.

Plot twist on the relationship between Gorano and Lothar, Gorano had to leave the person she loves to do what she had to do. She made a choice to gain trust from the orcs in order to save the human. The King was wise indeed. I could see if there are sequals, eventually Lothar and Gorano will be together.

And I really hate Guldan.


Feed goals achieved 😂😂

Jun 18, 2016


This is an example of kids tryna be adults like dude please enjoy your teenage life.

Maybe teenage life now is about being this pretty but you need to dig down the history and embrace it man. 



"So sleepy but refusing to sleep. Help."

Lol this is a silly thing to tweet. In this beautiful month especially, you should be doing good stuff. There are so many things to do, sis. I shouldn't complain 😂


In H&M in early April

Me: I'm gonna buy these socks coz there's a pair of green in it.
Atul: Motif?? Kau nak hijau, kau beli yang tu je la
Me: Too bad they don't sell separately


Do you understand how sad that you missed Ramadhan for half of the month?! Yes you don't eat like anybody else because it's better not to. But it is never the same to actually be able to fast and do stuffs when you're not having period. The excitent of Ramadhan, man! Haih

Jun 17, 2016


You know when you think people like the actors, the good looking flawless hot stuff people don't exist? And when you actually witness a person like that right before your eyes, it's the best gift from God seriously they are so gorgeous 


I googled denim on denim with '2016' coz I was feeling weird with the fashion 😂 since when I care what the trend is


Do you know the feeling of you actually want to know if your friend is reading your blog and the other blog? But then you actually don't want to know if they do read because it would be embarrassing for you, even though they are your close friends.

So I will just assume that they read.

If my friend can visit my Big Time Rush blog, why not my personal blog lol

#314 Materialistic

It was a call with A'an. I told her about me buying a fossil watch. She knows me well that I like not just cool stuff but also cool and hippie and those fossil types. That was when she said something like, "Awak ni sebenarnya materialistik tau. **then I can't remember what** Kalau boleh awak nak post semua gambar tu kan."

Oh A'an. You always say the things that are lingering in my mind for the longest time and since forever.

Like, you also said what I had in mind about me in MRSM and about how awesome Atul's voice is. Because even though we are close friends, I'm always the person who holds back my thoughts #shrugs.

ps I can't wait to dance around again ^-^


So today I came earlier to office like two and a half hours earlier. Just to ease away the guilt of days coming late to office lol Because actually I don't have much to do even if I'm early


Is it bad if it's easier for me to wake up with mom calling/texting me instead of physically tell me to WAKE UP FOR SAHOOR
But beforehand, 
Mom asked me on how should she wake me up for sahoor
Me: Just wake me up, like, 'Erin, sahur.' Let me respond with just one 'hm' then that's it. I will be responsible for what happens next.


Okay actually I don't really get this kind of people. Do they actually really care about likes? That I'd they were to post, anyone would even like their photo? Or reach a certain number? 

If they are being serious (anywho who are being serious about this), then this is very ill. 

Jun 15, 2016

#313 hipster niqabis?

Girl. Sorry. But I think you shouldn't  compare 2D with reali life? Is it fair that you compare yourself to 2Ds??? Tho idk much on the source/inspiration of the arts, still. (The last two photos are pretty but your pants, girl. Open your heart.)

Ada jugak yang kata tak nampak apa salahnya. Allahu. Aku ni ngkorang tengok memang laju je nak bash orang kan. Tapi saya tahu saya ni memang tak cukup modest lagi. Tak, jauh sangat.

But we need to right the attitude man. You represent Islam but you ignore it's essence. Isn't that ignorant?

It seems as though you are struggling too much to represent yourself. People keep judging you, you go rebel. Thus cussing and the attitude. Even sheikh or Nouman Ali Khan I can't remember, says, mind your words. Even if it's on Twitter, your own page, but there are witnesses and what more it is there forever unless you delete it.

I did cuss. I still do tho. It got worst because my close friends (and colleagues) are using it without care 😭 not to blame them but blaming myself for being so easily influenced lol

It's silly to show your raw unfiltered dirty thoughts to people tbh. It's already enough that Allah knows what you are thinking yakno.

So of course you can't judge people just because of their tweets and photos but you are showing what you want people to know... You are showing your own aib...? Feeling proud...? Idk

I always talk senselessly that if my thoughts go public, they will ruin me lol

This is like almost the same issue with 'modest' IG shops. I don't understand you

Jun 14, 2016


#311 bangi sentral

Lol haritu pergi reopening of Cattleya store tapi takde feel
Didn't even know it was a reopening of the shop. Didn't even realise I entered the shop named after it
Oh and I was kinda pissed off when shops don't display their names clearly. Especially above the door & inside the shop. C'mon
At least put a simple sign to know that that's your shop 🙄 branding, man. Branding.

#310 vote down

Vote down.


Remember the conference between PM and Obama? I was like whatever PM coz the way he talks was very uninteresting and lazy. But when Obama talks, I was attracted. He talks precisely, energetically tho slumberly and every word was clear. Well of course, coz he's American, that's his main language.

And so I was amazed. I thought I could be like him or at least better than PM. But when I hear myself talk, it's no wonder that people can hardly understand me that I need the energy to talk properly. But tbh people can hardly understand me in Malay so what more in English. 

Actually, I need to brush up the way I talk and everything else would follow

#308 Marissa

My niece always try to manja with me but I always refuse lol like kesian gak tapi I ain't gonna lose to you. Kids are spoiled I don't want them to get more spoiled and trouble me 🙄 

I know padan muka kalau dia tak nak dengar cakap aku. (I'm not good at making people listen to me anyway). But I'm just not the aunt who spoils my niece.  It would be sad tho coz it would make distance between family members but idk the least I could do is just be there if they need me 


Kids tryna look 25 but I just wanna be the old school 18, like the hippie 18 years old.

For technology, I understand, but the fashion tho. #shrugs

Jun 13, 2016


I need this. To remind me that my friends are funny af (actually banyak gila lagi conversation yang best. I'll make a mental note to ss those conv in the future)


Kah kah tak terasa pun keding, dah memang camtu. Then actually I didn't realise that baju kembang makes me look not skinny. Which is why I unconciously have always opted for that kind of dresses 🤔 

#304 audit VT

Lol I guess every senior feels the same way 

VT = vacation trainee (interns)

Jun 12, 2016


When Avi tweets stuffs that relate so much to your religion then you realise he's Jew, it makes sense, we have many things in common


More excited to see menswear coz they would look good on bae but then bae wouldn't care on how he looks 🙄


Yesterday: Ew nescafe kelapa????
Today: (as if last night was drunk) Wow. Nescafe COCONUT? Interesting #matsallehsangat


Pergi kedai siti khadijah dengan harapan yang terlampau tinggi but doesn't meet our expectations at all hm


Saiz XS okay tak fit tapi mak disapprove sebab nampak keping papan

Ok mak. Goodbye Paula top by imaan boutique 😢

Seriously tho the designs are nothing new but the fact that the quality of the fabric makes the dresses look sooo gorgeous no kidding


Me & mom
-mana satu eh
-beli la yang paling lain dari lain
-ok nak yang jeans sebab ada patch
-..yang peach tu la yang lain...

Then bila balik shopping physically, you go shopping online pulak 


When you unconciously do the left boob grab while laughing but you realise you're a girl and a muslim coz it's like downgrading your own religion which you supposed to be holy


Me when subuh in the morning.

Alarm clock the second azan comes up.
Reason: early prayer, earlier to go back to sleep, longer nap.

Then go to bathroom and take wudhu without switching on the lights, perform prayer without lights on.
Reason: Do things in the dark to reserve your sleeping vibe so that you would fall asleep easily after your subuh prayer

Perangai masyaAllah 😂


I know so many birthdays even my family but I refuse to wish idk what's wrong with me

Like why can't you make someone feel better despite your silly life principle 


Two styles

Turning a button down long shirt into a 'kimono' wrap

Wearing inner skirt (knee length) as outer skirt for when I wear shirts so that I cover my butt (this is actually inspired by my sister coz she wore really mini skirts but I can't coz they don't cover my thighs so I opt for the inner skirt)

Style 1: byfqi baru buat tahun ni
Style 2: I saw the IG shop this year but now sure since when they came up with that

So basically all I'm sayin is, my style is a way to go actually 😛 Sayang sebab itu style kita and tetiba ada orang guna tu untuk bisnes which kita boleh je femeskan style tu tapi sebab we are not business minded, takpe, tu rezeki dia 😊

Cam berlagak gila saying that they stole your style 😂 but I just want to say that we thought of it earlier hehehehe 😌


I have this We ❤️ Muhammad sticker at the back window car but my dad removed it might be coz the way we drive lol

Dia cam, kau drive macam syaiton pastu ada hati nak letak nama prophet saw, cam memburukkan nama Islam gituw


Okay honestly I'm not modest in my outfits. I wear pants like skinny pants. It's not tight but it shows how skinny my legs are yakno

So. What I understand in modest clothes is that you wear everything loose. Modest to me is not when you wear loose top and scarf that covers your chest and the back, but you wear skinny jeans/pants.

Like, whaaat? Business people please, when you have your motto, you go with it and not in contradict. I know you wanna be cool still applying your skater life in our clothing line but maybe you should reconsider your business motto.

Yes you can wear pants.
Even in sports, for your easy to go around, you can always opt to wear loose pants. So why not in your ads?


This kopiah query made me think. I was like, true tho, why actually? So I thought of the friendliness of the kopiah itself. It can be folded if they want to take it off. But do they even take if off? If not, songkok would be nice.

Against the opinion, I am to argue that nak jumpa Allah tak kisah aestathic ke tak. Janji ikhlas, bukan sebab nak tunjuk orang lain.

But also, nak jumpa Allah pun bagus to look your best. Kemas, suci dan bersih. Coz I read somewhere that a girl could wear the prettiest and modest dress to meet Allah. Janji tepati syara'. 

#290 mom has no chill

Mom has no chill when it comes to things are not in place and not tidied up immediately after you use it. 

I was gonna tell her I haven't cleaned up the table and chairs because I'm still here mom! Still using it?!?!?!?! Which you should know me well enough that I would  really do it before I go to bed

I mean I'm furious coz she's being stressed on these petty things

Gosh I can't complain tho (yea maybe only complain here where nobody actually reads)


When you have a crush on someone which you two know each other, you rant somewhere else instead

And you always want to understand their tweets, googling them so that you know what's up or try to understand, or listen to songs he tweets, videos he RTs 😂


Idk man geram gak tengok comments yang kata laki tu hodoh. Tbh I can see that he has good looks and especially taste of style, if you are referring to external attraction.

I agree that he is not the white hunk perfect square jaw whatever you imagine her boyfriend to be (I always judge couples tbh but must always reflect myself that it is possible and they know each other that others don't)

I'm so furious man. Ugh. Ok so maybe some comments are just playin around but you just end it like that, making people like me furious of your shady comments 

And beauty is always subjective I hate people


Idk man geram gak tengok comments yang kata laki tu hodoh. Tbh I can see that he has good looks and especially taste of style, if you are referring to external attraction.

I agree that he is not the white hunk perfect square jaw whatever you imagine her boyfriend to be (I always judge couples tbh but must always reflect myself that it is possible and they know each other that others don't)

I'm so furious man. Ugh. Ok so maybe some comments are just playin around but you just end it like that, making people like me furious of your shady comments 

And beauty is always subjective I hate people

#287 "Senior Project"

At first I was like why an Asian looking hero??? But then as I saw him smile, damn, he's gorgeous!

But the thing I am confused with this movie is that,

Peter likes Sam from the beginning. The way he looks at her in his first class. It also seems like he knows the blond is the bad guy here but he didn't resist the kiss and he is still dating the blond? Why don't guys just turn down a girl when they don't like them, even tho the girl could be so possessive?

Anyway I understand how Spencer is so jealous when he saw his ex kissing Peter. Spencer still likes her! Also I'm glad they really take teenagers to act as 18 years old in the movie. Not like like other TV drama series like the OC blergh

Jun 11, 2016


Okay I already regret of not buying the plain wide shawls from Imaan Boutique. 1 for RM39, 4 for RM100 :( That's RM25 per shawl and I'd save RM14 😭

But I need to be real, I don't like bright colours because I afraid it would still be translucent and what not

(Um yes I'm still in regret 😂)


"As Salamu‘Alaikum wbt
(May Peace and Mercy and Blessings of Allah be Upon You)

May this message reach you with the best Imaan and health

Hereby attached your tracking number
Please read the return policy thoroughly if you are dissatisfied with our product.


Please paste the above code here

Thank you for your purchase and support, we appreciate if you
could share your picture if you love wearing it.

Jazakillah khayr
May Allah ease your journey in this dunya and hereafter"

Jsyk, I have posted on IG, two photos wearing byfiq's shawl but of course these  business persons are very picky, choosing what they think is appropriate for their marketing.

Guess what, I was not featured. It's like whatever man. If you don't accept those kind of pictures then whatever 🙄

I still buy from them tho, still support. Just that, these things happen in business #shrugs


This post about my junior

 I just realised that his twithandle is "Brad Pitt"?????????
Is he reading my blog or people just always relate him to Brad Pitt agsdjhfkgaskhdf




Does it ever occur to you that sometimes if you are focusing on something else other than your faeces, they won't very much corporate with you


I post so many entries in early 2015. Why? Coz of this senior that I had a crush on. And actually early this year 2016 I also have a crush on another senior, from another race and religion. (Whom actually I already stalked since last year..... Wait no, I only remember him in the new office so it means I started stalking him since this year.. WAIT. We moved office last September 2015 so it could be since last year. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's already long enough.)

So in the end like omg thankfully I got into the same team with him 😭😭😭 I was and still so happy?!?! He's so handsome I can't. He's always so smiley even when I did so many mistakes 😭 maybe coz I'm a girl that's why he never showed his fierce side.

I'm not sure why I was not actively posting about him but...

Idk how he can be so gorgeous even when his face is not flawless? Like he has these pimples but still so handsome like wow masyaAllah brother 😂

Anyway I hope bae understands this 😘


Coz my cousin is cool af

#279 Poslaju guna beg plastik sendiri

So this was my first time to post something via courier with Poslaju, using my own plastic wrap. Actually there are three layers. The cloth bag, and two plastics. I only did two layers of celophone tape. And when I posted over the counter and he took away the package, I immediately became nervous and paranoid, that I thought I should have taped them with more layers yakno. Coz I saw complaints on poslaju that the packages were torn apart and I don't want my customer to receive the parcel that way what more if on the way it is damaged?!

But ya Allah, alhamdulillah. 

My customer said she is very satisfied with the condition! I might have underestimated my own stuff, how I take care of my stuff lol I think it deserved a 9/10 condition with slight higher price.

Anyway alhamdulillah rezeki jangan kedekut bakhil 😊🙌🏼

Jun 10, 2016


They say you need to wait not more than a week to change to new facial products so while I'm waiting I feel so naked


When you play something then no audio comes out, you're worried that your phone's speaker is broke, to know that your earphone is attached


"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, including yourself."

So I'm so easily influenced by the poeple on Twitter and I 'hang out' with them quite frequently so yeah. All my inner 'best la siak' 'gile la syall' 'wtf' 'wtaf' 'fleek af' are because of them. (Before, it was tumblr but now it's Twitter haha)
And I pinpoint bad words coz I'm js


Jun 9, 2016

#275 musically

Tru sheet hahah


First I was like, yes, they both would be dead in the end. But then, the characters are much better than them 😒

#273 milky way

Man, I really love his photography skills. First saw him on IG from baakk then saw his famous tweet on Twitter. @emaneous

Jun 4, 2016


I'm not that excited for food but I'm excited for hipster cafes for the coffees

Also I'm not that excited for the food a place could offer, but the breath taking sight it has 

May 22, 2016


It's funny how my friends are there in Setiawangsa but I'm still at home doing my own business while they hang out and about.

I guess I just have to face the fact that this is how it is.

May 15, 2016

#270 zumba @ dance @ aerobic

I read an article about differences between zumba and aerobics. And actually I'm not satisfied on why both need to have different names when they are just almost the same. Or maybe just put zumba to a more popular word like a dance class. Zumba has choreography stuff in it so why differentiate it to a dance class?

#269 makan dalam talam

I think it's inappropriate to force someone to finish the food that you yourself serve with a volume you didn't ask before . I mean why do you serve too much at the first place? Why don't you ask first how much it would suffice for them?

I know it's good using talam to eat together but really, serve with the volume that is apropriate for the consumer 😑

#268 dulang girls

Coz I don't agree much on dulang girls esp about the top 8 like MySpace. Unless if the good comes out of it then okay 🙂