#41

It’s tiring watching people easily expose themselves and me feeling angry and hatred towards what they do. 

So in the end, anywhere on the internet and social media, be it IG, TT, FB, I just block them. I don’t want them to appear on my explore or FYP. It’s exhausting.

#40

I realise it’s hard for me to do hablum minannas. I’ve become this person who doesn’t want to care about anyone else other than my husband, my parents, parents in-law. (I was always that way but this time the vision is the most clearest).

Even if you look at sunnah, he SAW had companions. But here I choose not to. I do think about them but I do not want to care. I can’t have being an “introvert” as a reason behind that, yes. 

But to be honest I do think about my close friends and my in-laws and my siblings. Always. 

Just that it hurts. So I’m just gonna come back whenever I want and be gone whenever I want. No hard feelings. And I promise I won’t have any hard feelings if the same happens to me unless it’s from those 5 persons I mentioned. 

You see, when I say close friends or best friends, I don’t mind if we do not have mutual feelings on that. Coz to me, they are whom I feel to myself. And that’s what matters to me now. 

#39

I was asked, “Erin dah siap ke?” for an engagement ceremony, when I was wearing this high-side-slits long-sleeved dress, moss crepe material, with a frikin matching coloured cargo pants, and a printed leopard pashmina. 

Sigh I didn’t have my full ootd picture. But that’s what I was wearing. 

So here I was kinda judged BUT I don’t blame her, I don’t hate her or dislike her for that. She’s just curious. And if she did judge, it’s the stereotype thinking that I blame. The norm that society brainwash you. Y’kno what I mean

So yeah. Reminds me of my outfit during my best friend’s sister’s wedding too. What more a wedding! Lol.

But still I liked my outfit coz cargo pants was so useful, I could keep my friend’s stuff like tissues, mobile phone and what nots. 

And dude I also wore loafers! Hah! What an outfit. Defo won’t be praised by women as omg cantiknyaaaaaaaaa HAHA and I’m glad that I won’t get those. I know my ego wants it but it’s good that I don’t.