#47

Iman and Aida talk about first loves, so I wanna share mine.

So here my relationship of me and Ha have so many things in common, with Aida and Kareem.

Thinking back, when I was in MRSM, I was my best. I felt good. I was in sports, I was the best student, etc etc.

Then I changed, I went introvert but at the the same time, I KNEW, I just ~KNEW I could do so much more to help other people. But I didn't.

And even answering to Ha's question, what do you want when we got married? My answer was just to marry, have kids, that's all.

There was no vision in that. When actually I could do more.

So, coming to this sharing by Iman and Aida, masyaaAllah. They talk about how a future husband should be able to allow you to grow, not just being in our bubble and comfort zone.

So marrying Ha, has allowed me to grow. Allah has allowed me to marry Ha, He pinjamkan Ha to me, for me to GROW. For me to do better things in this life that which I actually have wished for, for the longest time.

Even though it's nothing much, or maybe I couldn't see what impact I have made on people, I have actually did something, because of Allah. Allah, has allowed these things to happen.

Also, how I married my husband, the story before getting married, is so similar.
Aida's version was this:

Min 27:00
A: There was a sharing from a friend,
Love appears in 90 places in Quran
But does not define what love means
But speaks about the consequences of Love
Is COMMITTING.

If you truly love, then commit. If you don't commit, then your claim of love is not real.

A: it's either you marry me, or we're not talking.

So Aida posted this on Kareem's FB wall.
Aida was serious, like if you won't commit, we are not together.

So back then in Nov 2012, I PM-ed Ha in Facebook, that, 'kalau takde niat nak kahwin, jangan teruskan hubungan ni.' Or something like that.

We went on with the relationship anyway. And like A and K's before marriage relationship, my relationship with Ha was a disaster before marriage. Almost 5 years of 'dating', we got to know each other, but so many heartbreaks and sins.

Like Aida mentioned, A and K tried long distance relationship and it was bad.

But alhamdulillah we are united.

Like they said, they are always days when I feel like I HATE Ha but masyaaAllah, when you calm down yourself and think of Allah, everything dawns on you that this is the best for me, insyaaAllah.

Moreoever, they talk about how husband and wife encourage each other to grow, remind each other etc.

Continuing Min 27:00

A: Both A and K do not have things in common, but Kareem is like Khadijah to A.
K is so supportive for A's growth masyaaAllah.

That's how me and Ha are. Subhanallah :') It's more of Ha actually HAHAH.

And remember that my vision of marriage was like close to none? Ha believed in me, that I can do great things.

Excerp of text:

Min 18:50

A replied to K, "That was weird for me to hear coz for the longest time I was told that I'm just ordinary girl who's gonna do ordinary things."

I have always thought, I don't wanna be out there, so I'm just gonna be that accountant and that's it, although like I said, deep down in my core I knew I could do more. But HA, he sees that I can be more, and do more, do great things. Inspire people. Not just being that ordinary Malaysian girl, yakno?

K said to A, "You are a special person with a special voice, and you're gonna do great things in this world."

I don't know if K meant literally about the voice, but really, this applies to me. Ha didn't say the same thing, but he implies as it. Alhamdulillah I do have that special voice, and Ha believes that I'm special. I mean, honestly, every person is special in their own way. And with this, Ha believes that I can do great things in this world, even if it's not how AA does it. Every person is special in their own way, remember?

Then I told A:

I: The fact that you have somebody with you, day in and day out, just feeding you all this positive energy, like HE is doing service to the world just by encouraging you.

A: For every girl I help, it's all because of you.

Like masyaaAllah. Yes, Ha is ALWAYS giving me positive energy, to be positive, encouraging me everyday. And to be honest, all this happens because of Ha. Like fer reals. Allah has planned it out so well.

We do have things in common, but we also have so many things not in common. So yeah, alhamdulillah.