#17

6:08pm

Okay so I was scrolling Facebook, wanted to take a nap whenever I feel sleepy. But then there was a post that irks me...

But before that, I was reminded, that I should be thankful... like always always always be thankful, dear Erin. Every time I feel bad when I was streaming, because of my mood at that time, because of the views, because of my performance, because of how un-engaging I am because of how un-engaging Ha was, I forgot to be grateful.

Because... alhamdulillah, we got so many stars donation today. Like... Erin, alhamdulillah. Syukur. Other people have it worst. PLEASE DON'T BE HASAD DENGKI!!!!!!!! Oh Allah protect me from hasad dengki :(

So now let's go to the post that irks me.

I don't know if you can read the text oh the photo. But I just kinda hate, really, like hate how some people put it this kind of way, that if you can stream at night and also gift me something like this, then a wifey wouldn't mind that you stream at night. 

Maybe I'm biased because the ring is something that you wear and other people can see. Because to think again, I might would have wanted something from my husband if I were in her shoes, i.e. having kids and husband streaming at night.

But... I'm just so done with material stuff. I don't want a big house, a big wardrobe, loads of clothes, big expensive cars, sports cars, rings, like the things people can see. But if bigger house or car that would help the economy of my family (because too many members or work purpose then okay). 

This reminded me of my ustaz during kursus kahwin, that he spends his money for his wife buying K-drama stuff. Things that people can't see.

I just can't blame the person above coz every person's interest is different.

But then maybe I just dislike showing expensive things to the public, or make it visible, you know what I mean? You are not showing, you are just simply wearing it, but you going out, can be seen by public, hence it doesn't feel good. 

To make it fair, I still loooove rings but only those silver or silver gold rings AND if the design is like for example, a FOX, an animal sort of kind, and not like those like in the photo haha.

But... I think what I'm saying here, for myself, is the fact that, you need to be gifted material things in order for you to bless your own spouse. I mean I know, it's not wrong to have these things, tapi berpada-pada, dan tengok apa niat. 

Welp, I could be very wrong.

Wallahua'lam.