#70

This. And another thing that has been running through my mind is about... community. 

I've known it from the start. But it gave a huge impact and pang of realisation when I saw how people are so into Discord to build a community and share things.

Like... I knew from the start, that I couldn't build a community, like other streamers, like AA too. What I strive to do when I first signed up, or even when I have wished so long ago since school, is to just be.

Be the best that I can be, a good example to people. Without me needing to say much... because I lack that, truth to be said. InsyaaAllah just by showing that, it affects people in a positive way. I'm not good with motivation words, words of wisdom, words of advise. I'm just... me.

If you wanna hang on discord, I wouldn't want to, because I wouldn't be comfortable with you. You are outside of my bubble. 

Unless, as usual, if there's a person whom I so comfortable with being there, and I just join in, and stay there without saying a thing. I'm that person. 

If I'm not yet comfortable with you, I only talk when there the two of us. But if I'm already comfy with you, I'd talk to you even when there are many people in the room. 

Sorry, but I like comfort zone. And subhanallah. If you're a comfort zone even when the first time we hang, you get that aura. 

I just need to convince myself that numbers don't matter. You post things not to impress people, but to have good in yourself. (example, IG stats)

I also need to convince myself that it's okay that I couldn't get a community, especially on discord. Because... that's just you. Things around you reflect of who you are. And that's what you wish anyway. But if some people are together because of Him, through me, then masyaaAllah.