#22

What / who was the first thing / person who brought you closer to Islam?

I can’t remember actually but I think being in MRSM was the first baby step for me to be closer to Islam. WAIT. NO. 

I was thinking, it’s actually arwah Cik Idah. But then no. She’s actually the influence or catalyst for me to change along the way after MRSM, because of the du’as, Quran recitations and IKIM FM. But I was jahil at the time. 

So it started with MRSM. Surrounded by people who were learning Tasawwuf. masyaAllah. I was leaning towards BADAR but failed 😂 because of them, I change my way of clothing. 

From tudung pendek to a more labuh tudung although tak labuh gila. Biasa je tapi tak singkat. 

From malas Handsocks to rasa wajib Handsocks. 

But socks are always there. Sampai UiTM. 

Then kat anugerah kat Dewan Maluri yang ada Syawalina, she asked me rajinnya pakai Handsocks. Wajib ke pakai? 

Me: eh takla, dah terbiasa. 

At that time I thought is she really asking that kind of question? And that kind of tone? From a girl who is statistically clever than me? It’s aurat… but even then I did not respond in anger. I understood.  

Then in UiTM I remember that my clothing wasn’t perfect. Ada baju ketat sikit kadang nampak side boobs even though “labuh”, ada nampak bontot, ada tudung jarang, ada yang nampak wrist. 

Then MAYBE after becoming closer to Hannan that I bought and wear clothes which are more loose. By then I was exposed more to social media on how to wear proper modest clothes. And what poses are appropriate so tak mengundang fitnah. 

I remember because I was around a lot at home, suka pakai socks, mak pun ikut sekali. Mula-mula socks nipis, pastu lama-lama socks biasa, tak perlu tebal. She even loved it when I gave away my H&M socks ♥️ I didn’t offer because before that selama tu, I knew that mom wouldn’t want it. But then eventually she did. Lagi lagi bila Cik Ta always promote her fashion to her sisters. 

To my situation, wearing modestly makes me one step closer to Him, although I remember that I was always horny masa UiTM. I ain’t perfect. 

I just remembered some people in MRSM. Cikgu English form 5, Ustazah muda, Attira yang suka pakai Handsocks. And kat sana memang suasana yang mengingatkan tentang Allah. 

Pastu 1-2 tahun nak habis kat UiTM, memang dah menutup elok. Alhamdulillah. Sampai sekarang. 

The next thing, AA Tuesday Love Letters and AA Plus tahun 2018 selepas dah habis masalah tu… 

I know I have so many sins, and there’s this particular big one that I have yet to overcome… it’s hard and that’s why I try to multiply my other good deeds especially aurat. In hopes and prayers that while doing other good deeds, I could eventually overcome that sin. Allahu. 

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.