#23

Hello reader.

I just thought I had to vent this out.

It's a really bad thing what I have felt. I always pray Allah jauhkan dari hasad dengki and the likes.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to look at people's achievement and straight away be happy for them.

But every time I feel that way, the negative way, I am always well aware of that, hence I will always istighfar and recite du'a for them instead.

I hope that is sufficient. I always try to cleanse myself. But those negative thoughts, always happen. Every time. To anyone, except my family, my siblings and cousins. To anyone else, even my friends, it's hard. 

But then I always pray the best for them. I always pray for my soul too. 

May Allah ease <3

Edit:

Oh hey, I googled about this... and found this article helpful to me ^^

Have hope in God Almighty Who has promised that He will guide those who struggle and help them through His invisible grace and increase their capacities. (Imam Al-Khomeini, Forty Hadith, chapter 5 ‘Hasad’)

Those "cure" for the disease. I always do it though. I mean it's not like I'm actually saying bad things, thought of negative things. I always think they deserve it, masyaaAllah, that it's their way, it's good for them, that I can't compare my shoes with theirs.

I hope that my always-being-aware of this and istighfar, and the struggle are sufficient. Though I will always try to keep it consistent or do more insyaaAllah.