#15

Okay so malam nisfu sya'ban... encouraged to do zikr and istighfar and make lots and lots of du'as. 

I, did not know what to ask. So after reading AA's email, she talked about journaling her days, i.e. reflecting upon yourself. 

Yup I do journal here. But only sometimes. Not everyday. You know by the frequency of my posts here. 

So here I am, trying to journalise my days and thoughts for the past, idk how long. Like really really muhasabah diri. Because through this, I know what to ask from Him.

Of course He already know what we want even unconsciously. But the act of really asking from Him is vital. Word it out even in your head. 

I always pray that I have that deep love for my husband, for the sake of Allah. That's my everyday hope since ever. May it be instill in my heart for You. I know love is commitment, I read it from my supporter's post. But how far can I commit without the deep feeling?

Next, I guess I just want to be more patient. I can't change my significant other but to just let him grow in his own pace. It's true, how you want him to be better than you, teach you, and stuff. But he's just being him. You know he lacks that, so you improve yourself first. And the thing is, maybe he's better than you because sincerity and matter of hearts, only Allah knows. 

That leads to me being dreamy about the beauty of tahajjud. I always read about spouses performing tahajjud. Praying to Allah SWT to give guidance to the wife or the husband. Because He is the owner of hearts. Always, always turn to him. 

Semoga diberi hidup yg berkah, di jaga dari pandangan buruk orang lain dan segala fitnah.