Love isn’t something you can shove down someone’s heart. There’s only one way left - prayers.
Jul 10, 2018
Jun 30, 2018
I woke up feeling sad and shed a tear, because the times that have passed, you couldn’t get it back.
This thought crossed my mind mainly because I couldn’t see my friends as I wish (even though I’m given freedom to). While they’re single and free and going out and about as they wish.
After the talk with kak ya, I realise that things happen. You kinda need to let go of your need to meet your friends, even not on a regular basis. I realise that family is the closest. Easiest to meet too, insyaaAllah. I know my situation is different than kak ya’s. But I can take the good from her situation.
Yet I know the closeness with my friends instead of siblings, makes the difference. Who else do I talk to in person.
Maybe I’ll find my way back.
Jun 27, 2018
I become so nervous about starting work after five months being unemployed. Five months of stress-free of work... that I hate the feeling of nervous. I hate to bear it. I hate meeting new people, getting new environment and surrounding. The fact that I’d have 24 hours anxiety on whether to drive or grab a car. The fact that I have to text my employer.
On the other hand, I still like new people, new environment, getting to work out my brain to good use, getting to use my specialty in accounting. Getting to work in photography/videography industry!!!!! And the fact that it’s near to our current home. And the fact that there are support in this house mainly on accounting stuff.
Everything happens for a reason. I kinda miss this feeling of working.
I know my negative side always want to back out. Always have no motivation to work again. But idk, this job feels like it could be something big. And I’m still young. So many things to explore. I should think about that.