Advice from a friend

Don't mess with it (relationship) if you're not ready. If you're not the cold hearted and are not ready to take all the consequences, don't deal with it. But if you're not ready but still want it, you can do it. You'll gain experience. Just like how I did. Experience is important. My advice here is don't limit your views. Try to make something new. Even if it would be wrong.

Then I came across to Solusi. The part you said if you're not ready, don't do it; that's the most brilliant advice you've given to me. Apparently Solusi says the same thing. As if what you said was something that came from somewhere.

I'm not ready and that's the reason why I still stand alone. Thanks buddy :)

SINTESIS MAGAZINE 09/10 IS AWESOME

MRSM Kuantan's 09/10 magazine is soooo awesome. KUDOS to our juniors Nuna, Ella (especially), Feyna, Shafiq, and others! You guys did a GREAT job. I LOVE it. And if someone complains about it, that person has problem with their eyes.

I know your pictures appear more in the mag, but I can't blame you guys. You did most of the job. So, it's a win win. Thanks for all the effort!

My SABian friends love it. Simple and sempoi :)

Breathe out that relief

The smallest baby step in life has passed with a great achievement. It's more than I expected. Really! What's more important is that I'm still qualified for MARA scholarship. Alhamdulillah.

This is just the smallest fragment of life. Nak dibanggakan sangat pun, benda ni dah lepas. It's not how good you started. It's about how good you ended. If you started good, like good SPM results, but in university, you flunk, your SPM results is like useless to you.

I'll try to treat this Triumph and Disaster the same.

Now I can breath a sigh of relief, and move on with my current life.

But before I move on, I need to enjoy first! *Just like what our lecturer said :)

Planning a journey to Kuantan

I soooo can't wait to go to Kuantan, back to my old beloved school! I'm even going there alone without my parents.

Having parents come along would be a problem. You can't hang out with your friends anywhere and anytime. And if my results suck, having them with you, would make things awkward. Seeing their faces after knowing my result then and there, would be such a dejection. Really.

Anyway, I'm still praying for the best for my result and tawakkal. That's all I can do now. What I am so excited about is meeting my friends. YAY!

Gonna bring my backpack, just in case :)

Anak manja

I'm not feeling well, not I'm sick. Get it? It makes difference.

I got up in the morning on Monday, feeling ill. I kept on sneezing. As the day went on, the mucus started to melt hugely. It oozed out from the left hole of my nose and triggered the tear glands of my left eye. Sometimes tears just welling up and sometimes tears fell down my cheeks.

I have the habit of sticking a tissue in my nose hole, so that I need not suck the mucus back in, or have it flow down freely from my nozzle.

The flu got worse and fever stroke me. At night, I had to have that damped cloth to put on my forehead to cool me down. It was indeed a pleasure. In my head, I could picture a wet damped cloth put on a hot stuff and it sizzles. Psssttt.

On the next day, it had gone so terrible that I could only stand the fever and flu until 12pm. For the first time studying here, I skipped a class. But it was unintentional. I couldn't make it. My body was weak, like really. I needed a rest.

Mum asked me to try to go to the clinic by myself. If I couldn't make it at around 3pm, I should call her so my parents could come over (which was what I really wanted). But I overslept. Kind of lazy to go by myself and also scared. I couldn't trouble my friends. They had classes to attend. Going around this new world alone is just nerve-wrecking.

Instead, dad called me and got angry over the phone. Of why I didn't go to clinic already. So they decided to come over after Maghrib. (It's kind of 40 minutes journey).

They came and brought me to clinic and we ate dinner together. Not at Medan Selera Seksyen 2. No way. It was a mamak's restaurant.

Anyway, I felt really relieved that they came over. And ate together. Mum could barely follow dad to pick me up or something. But this time, she came along because it was school's holiday.

I felt loved. And being the last one in the family - what people say, 'bongsu mesti anak manja' - it suited me well (although I always try to deny it and want to prove that I'm not, to the world, I just couldn't. Truth is the truth.)

Lengthy mixed stories

I realize even sisters don't update you everyday. Except your mom. Mom listens to you even when they're exhausted or tired or sick or happy. But friends and sisters...

You just can't blame them if they lack of showing care sometimes. Heck, erin, it's SOMETIMES not ALWAYS. Most of the times, they'd willingly listen to you.

I've forgotten how offensive atul can be. It's her. I have to accept it. Don't I trust her anymore? Why didn't I just say it? Just say that she actually hit that right into my gut. It's like being mad, screaming at me because I'm not good. Out-to-date. Too shallow. The way she typed it, gave me the wrong message. But I know it's selfish for me to feel that way when she's worried about tsunami in Japan. And all the people in it especially her foster family.

Madihah is right. Girls are complicated, banyak kerenah. Girls tak open. Most girls, which includes me. I just can't voice out how I actually feel. Like how I feel kat Atul. Apa yang dia cakap tadi.

I pictured guys having that conversation. Mesti open, cam cakap je, and then, gelak gelak. It doesn't have to prolong. A simple confession would make things better. Lagi lama, lagi teruk effect dia.

Nonetheless, Atul's right, I'm like katak bawah tempurung. That's what the words came out from her meant. Just that I don't like the way she delivered it.

Babe, sorry okay? Maybe mood swing ._.

***

So I felt really energetic today. I sang in the morning, even bila siap siap nak pegi kelas t5. Macam I'll know things will be good today. Like, not being sleepy in the class.

And I was right. Tak mengantuk langsung time T5. Bukan sebab I know it would be satu jam lebih je kelas. Heck, I actually looked forward for Puan to extend it to 12pm. Tapi ada talk tu pula. Takpelah.

Cara taknak mengantuk are,
- minum nescafe pagi pagi.
- Set a good mood.
- Give 100% attention to lecturer. Heck, bagi 200%.
- Respond to what she says.
- WAJIB salin apa dia cakap. Like every word that comes out from her mouth.
*kalau miss, memang kau rugi. Sebab jawapan setiap soalan ada daripada apa lecturer cakap. Kau nak fahamkan point tu pun susah kalau miss.
- Bila dah tahu kena salin, kita lagi aware kita tak boleh rasa mengantuk. Kalau tak, miss apa lecturer cakap.

***

Early this morning, I watched videos on ways to wear scarf, especially pashmina, on youtube.

Mind you, I've always secretly guna Shera's (my roommate) broadband. Sebab pagi-pagi memang dia tak guna. And dia tak kesah. Heheh thanks Shera.

So my target was Hana Tajima's style. I love the effortless way of wearing a scarf. Memang simple and neat! But I adjust sikit sikit so that it covers the top.

I've been wanting to know how to wear it since I saw her on Maria Elena's blog. *Past few weeks baru kenal siapa Hana Tajima sebenarnya. Additionally, when I saw a senior wearing like Hana, I was like wow, that looks so nice on her. So I wanted to try it out.

Jadi la juga. Just that I still feel uncomfortable wearing like that sebab dia tak ikut shape muka. Takut nampak selekeh. But actually style tu memang untuk tak kesah your bentuk shawl kat muka nampak macam mana. Basically to try something new, you need that courage and confidence.

So bagus la ada new style. Kalau tak, bosan je style sama since the first time I wear shawl. Even my sister changed her style of wearing shawl.

***

21st March, the date of final exam for T2. I'm pshyced. I've become more determined to get 75+ after failing and having tutorials with Madame.

Man, I still depend on people to pass a paper. MARA student ke ni?