#7

I hate people

I hate life

I wish

I wish

To be gone 

#6

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8V5Bsec/

If you’re still alive, there’s still something that awaits you, nikmah from Allah. This really helps for people who just want to end it all. Many kinds of nikmah including to repent, to do more ibadah. Allah is allowing you more time to do good deeds. It shows that Allah is Ar Rahman Ar Rahim that He gives you the opportunity to do things & mend things. To seek, to reflect upon, to think, to muhasabah. When you feel like you just want to vanish, your awareness of His Love will always make you feel alive again insyaaAllah 

#5

I’m in so much peace not knowing or seeing people’s lives on the screen i.e. social media. Including my family. If I’d like, I’ll ask them what they’re up to and how they’re doing. 

I chose to be this way. And in turn, I shouldn’t mind if people don’t care. Or maybe I’m oblivious of how they show that they care. 

They say don’t talk down on yourself. 

But I think I don’t deserve anyone. And people, to be close to me. 

I am incapable. I don’t trust myself. 

I feed on people’s praise do I now?

I don’t know. 

#4

I worry about petty things because I’ve nothing to do. All I do is mindlessly scrolling TikTok, IG, FB. I hate it. Sigh

I’m not even in the mood to watch something or read AA’s emails. 

Stupid frikin mistake you done there erin. Geez. . 

#3

What if I had that extra 9000 diamonds? Worth RM800? 

Maybe I would have boasted about it to people. When all I’ve prayed for to Allah is jauhkanlah diriku dari sifat riak, ujub, dan takabbur. 

You can’t lie to yourself that you feel lil bit proud because you earn more than others, in that particular week and a few past weeks. 

Istighfar. There’s always a reason, hikmah of why you forgot to send those reports. 

Knowing this still, I’m mad at myself for being careless. I posted the video, but I didn’t check to report???? I even counted the days to its end of reporting time to see how many views it could go. But I failed to submit the report. 

I need to be more mindful too. Sigh. 

Sorry but 9000 is a LOT. I’m so bummed. Eeeeeeee. 

Also I should stop feeling sorry and regret!!!!! Menyesal dengan takdir yang telah ditentukan. 

Accept, learn, and move on Erin!!!! 

#2

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. 

STOP VISITING THEM TO SEE WHAT THEY ARE UP TO. YOU KNOW YOURSELF BETTER. SO IF THEY CROSSED YOUR MIND OR THEIR NAMES POPPED ON YOUR FYP JUST PRAY AND MOVE ON. NO STALKING. PERIODT.