#623

My close guy friend (not so close) had a baby! I just noticed. It's silly that I make it feel so weird to ask him about it. But I understand why. Haha. And I think it will never fade, but it's okay. I know my boundaries. The past is the past. I hope my dear husband understands. In the end, it always has been my husband.

#622

I sent an email to AA Plus lol Coz I feel so blessed

Salam

I just wanna share my experience in local place, Malaysia. My experience whenever people look at me strange (or maybe I'm just perasan that they look at me strange). So I would always think positive and just smile and them, be kind to them if I had to ask for something. It feels good alhamdulillah.

About being role model, masyaaAllah. I have recently shown myself to the world (I do mobile phone game live streaming). With the niat that you stated above, "Not for our ego, or for fame or for pride, but for Allah." and "Because when we are busy striving to be the best version of ourselves, the people around us, will, In Sha Allah, start to catch on to this positive energy and aura."

I was so down for almost a week, about putting myself out there, and masyaaAllah your love letter came in the right time. To be honest, I've kinda skipped so many of your AA Plus letters and TLL. Today Allah gerakkan hati to read this love letter, and the fact that I was attracted to the title of the letter.

Also, if you remember, I just wanted to befriend good people, improve myself, to be better etc. I didn't feel it right away during the class. But masyaaAllah, I think something fruitful happened.

I think, I felt love, unconditionally for someone I have never met before. With this particular girl I met during an event for the mobile game. MasyaaAllah I don't know why I feel that way. If this is how it feels to love someone you never met before, how huge and grand is the unconditional that you could feel for The Prophet S.A.W? x3
Anyway I still don't go back to the classes I have attended here, but still good things happened indirectly because of them ^^

Much love,
Erin

Oh wait. Ha asked my how those lines affected me... I forgot to write that in the letter. So

Why I feel so moved by these two lines, I was in dilemma. That if I show myself to public, men especially would take advantage of me (what more that the community consists of more men than women). Also the fact that people always give me praises, that I was afraid I would lose myself into the fame or pride and also ego. But inside I know, I always istighfar, and remind myself that everything is for Allah. My husband always remind me that too, because honestly, we as human, naturally need the reminder spoken out loud to us, from a human being ^^"

So with this niat and awareness, I kept and keep on going with what I have, try to be better, with the hopes that people would catch the positive energy and aura, just like the second line. And the fact that I just want to spread the beauty of Islam. That even though we play games or streaming, we can still be true to ourselves and our deen especially.

Now I'm gonna send another chain letter haha

#621

Mom would never have expected that her oldest and youngest child are problematic even when they get older.

#620

I pray you are safe wherever you are, my dear husband. May Allah protect you. I love you. 

#619

Yeah maybe I could jump off the parking lot now
Or maybe the nearest is the knife in the kitchen
Maybe just stand on the rail track
Or just run into a speeding car
Or drown myself

Nah. Maybe that knife is the best

Or some poison and pills

Yea maybe

#618

Have you ever felt love, unconditionally for someone you never met before?

I feel like I have. With this girl. MasyaaAllah I don't know why I feel that way.

If this is how it feels to love someone you never met before, how huge and grand is the unconditional that you could feel for The Prophet S.A.W? x3

#617

My post numbering has gone too high. Frikin 600s hahaha maybe I’ll start back at #1 for new year.

Anyway I wanted to share this on IG or FB story. But then. I thought. No one else care hahah.

I just wanna say I’m kinda still adapting to this relationship and still pray that it’s till jannah. I appreciate the randomness even though I know I’m not always there for them. Maybe that’s the kind of relationship when you’re with me? Lol idk

Suddenly I miss Atul haha

Xoxo

#616

I realise I cannot please EVERYone. So I only need to focus on beloved and important people.

Other than my beloved ones, I SOOOOO dislike people who sulks. Like, I don't have time for you bruh xD

Hm anyway. Got a text from them. Turns out they're okay with me. So I was just being feeling too guilty for no reason lol adfhaksldjf

#615

Refrain yourself. Be the bigger person.

#614

I wanna continue something we talked about the other day. This is related to entry #613.

One of the reason Ha wanted me to start live streaming is to find back myself. I was lost. I shut down. I caved in. I pushed out people. Even my family. And Ha might be also affected by this. But he was still there with me :')

What kind of Erin that I have lost? Happy-go-lucky, crazy, spontaneous, s'porting, joyful. And all the positive vibes. I did not realise that I was actually liked by my friends, not just guys. Because I have that vibe, my own positive vibe. Alhamdulillah. But I didn't realise that.

That's what Atul was talking about. "We want back the old Erin! In fact, a better Erin!" I miss her too. I know that "people are who they are because of what happened in the past". Sometimes you change over time, that you couldn't be the old you. But the thing is, that vibe is my core. And anything positive is always good, no?

*to be continued* nak g makan

1:46pm
Alhamdulillah done lunch kat kedai makan baru kat bawah ni. Dayang Sarawak apa tah hahaha

 ***

Anyway.  Yes, I lost myself. But alhamdulillah I'm so much more happier now. I feel alive again. I am very sorry to my husband that I was not this alive when I was with him along the years. HE'S DEFINITELY A KEEPER. He stayed throughout my downfall :'(

I make new friends now. Even if it's online friends, that we never met in real life, I still feel that they're important. Like they're good people. I like my husband's circle of online friends too. The MRG squad. But because we started off with me being so silent, so I am a bit awkward with them even when I have improved a bit now. But I still like to hang out with them virtually haha.

Idk man. But everything happens for a reason. Allah has planned things so beautifully. People have crossed with your path for a reason. People come and go for a reason. To teach us something, good or bad, even though it is virtually.

Every person has their own personality, even online, even if it's a masked character. Every person teach me something different.

It feels more like home when I started knowing Chu. And other girls. Maybe I have been yearning, like I always have, for love from girlfriends. Yakno? That ukhuwah.

So Ha told me, that I have the vibe, that people like me, that people are attracted to. Even Chu said that it's hard to find someone like me. Like sekepala dengan dia, gila gila, humble, fun, etc. I almost cried when she told me that, in front of me and Ha x3 Because, alhamdulillah, I found her. I found myself.

Now we just need to maneuver back our life in the right path :)

#613

For today, I've set some goals. One of it is to think about my life, career, along with my husband.

I'm working here, getting underpaid. Wait, no. I'm not underpaid. The position and the pay they give is suits one another. But it doesn't suit my qualification. Which I can actually do more than just this.

Yesterday husband and I had a conversation on this. I told him I felt guilty because I don't do anything in office, that they are paying me for me doing nothing. Like it's an added cost to them.

But then that's not true. They don't care much because they're just paying me to do complete set of accounts, which only takes me one (1) day per week to complete it. And the other two days, I'm being idle. So they're just paying me for the time I have spent in office. Which actually my time costs so much more! Time is valuable and that's not the price I could accept for myself. They're not to be blamed. It's that, I have the opportunity to do something else with that time, which is more valuable, even if it's not in terms of money, but plainly just something valuable and brings meaning to my daily life as a whole.

Aboh has so many times told me about 6 months being in this company, then go to another company, or just do freelance accounting. But I didn't. Just like how Ha did not realise about life decisions when Aboh advised him.

So now we are thinking of pursuing again our ACCA membership. But I don't want to leave my new circle of friends :( What happens if I quit the game and streaming?

Worst come to worst, I quit the squad. But still stream at night/subuh. And the streaming is unpaid, but just a hobby, although in hopes to be paid... I would break Chu's heart :( So bad... hm. 

Then we're just working out ass off as Auditor/Accountant. I would also quit from being Accountant for this current company. Or maybe just help them, with very minimal that I don't mind. If they wanna ask me things, I don't mind. InsyaaAllah. I'm so attached to this company, I think. That I would want to help them :/

Nevertheless, I still want to play with this squad. And Ha gives me one year. To achieve something. Goals. Goals are what I lack of. I don't set goals. And now having the realisation, I need to.

What do I want to achieve from this squad? Getting paid for streaming. Not much for being a professional gamer. But what if along the way, I become good. Somehow we got some money for being gamers. High pay for being a streamer. What if? Do I still continue pursuing account based career? Coz honestly, that's the career that I'm best at. Just that I don't have the soft skills. 

So, I quit this company, go to Audit company. I still go along with the squad, for one year. I still stream at night.

See how it goes after one year. If both the latter are not fruitful, I might need to quit it. And continue to pursue accounting career :/

And I want to have kids ^^" Something I don't know how I was able to even type that and think that. Haha

Oh Allah

#612

A friend (Sun) posted about bermanja dengan kawan. I thought, if you have a spouse, why would you need to bermanja ngan kawan?  On a second thought, it might actually be something needed, like how you would bermanja with your own mom. And all the teasing make you miss your friend. So maybe it's that. 

#611 facebook

First of all. Sigh.

Haha.

It has been years, since I started work in 2015 that I didn't want to invest so much on Facebook, that I even deactivated my account! I can still reactivate but refuse to.

So then since I started playing games that needed FB accounts to bind, I had to create some. I have multiple accounts. But this one main account now, is used as my main page-related account. 

And gosh since then I've been so invested in Facebook :') I feel like I have talked about this... it's like dejavu.

Ok. I just checked. I did kinda talk about this in my previous post.

Anyhow, I still need to snooze some.

#610 Love Reaction

Giving 'love' reaction seems like a big thing in Facebook that I just seem to comprehend. Still it's funny because on Instagram, the 'like' is symbolised as a love icon, you see?

So it's funny to see how people react differently when I give love reactions. I react 'love' on almost ALL posts or comments okay. I mean, seriously I don't see the seriousness in the reactions between a thumbs up and love.

As I said in my previous post, I have so much love to give. And the way I see it, spread love. (Y)

I still don't like to be caught up with Facebook posts and dramas lol I need to snooze most people on my friend list, like how I did on my personal and business IG.

#609

I was searching for a good caption for my post, regarding missing someone. And an Islamic view of that appeared.  

"Sehari tinggal Al-Quran, rasa rindu."

Allahu. And I think we should actually have that kind of feeling strongly towards Allah and our Prophet SAW. It's hard to find it, but that's that.

I also realise, that I have so much love to give. Which I should focus on my husband :')

#608

Listening to Tones and I's "Never Seen the Rain"

The vibe makes me miss Mad, An and Atul so much 😅 Like I’m laughing here being happy but I miss laughing with them. Bittersweet memories ❤️

#607

A thought crossed my mind, that I might appear noob. Like indah khabar dari rupa. Like, people say I’m pro, but when I play other roles/heroes LIVE, I’m so below average. Younomsayin? But then again. To hell what people say xD I’ll just do my thang and improve where I can. 

#606

I came late today to work but I realised one thing.

That the people around me are so kind-hearted, supportive, 'sporting', easy-going that you can ask them for opinion or tell them things without afraid of being judged.

Either in stream (certain circle) or in office.

Despite the fact that I can't fit in with my friends, it's okay. It's like my own family/siblings. I can't expect to fit in xD

Oh Allah I'm actually very privileged. CRYING

#605 hati tisu?

Why is it that I am easily affected by someone who gives negative gestures to me? For example, showing middle finger at me because they are mad at me. It happened just now on the road. I know it was my fault though. I definitely cannot recall if I had glanced before I changed lanes.

I was so affected too, even when Dad received that same remark on the road. At that time, I think Dad was not wrong. I felt so angry at that person that I almost cried.

This does not happen when I was being shout at for my lack of work or things like that. Like, if my boss or my parents get mad at me.

So I wonder now, why is it so easy for me to cry when they give negative hate gestures on me?

That's one thing. Another is that I cried so bad, when I heard the story of our friend, being kind of blackmailed and exposed by his own then girlfriend, especially when it involves maksiat. Because... we have been there, and done that. I understand his situation, being in black hole. He seems like a good person too. I mean, he knows the word, "marifatullah"??? Haha. That's something bro.

#604

I wanted to talk about Sterk Production collaborated live stream, and about solah. But something happened yesterday. 

I miss my friends so much that I cried. I miss making them laugh. Their happy faces. Like, I do want to share my happy news and stories to them and see them light up. All this while it has been just me telling sad stories. 

Having the chance to virtually hang out with potential girl squad made me miss my friends even more. It also made me realise that no one can ever replace them.

I know I can't force things. But that's just how I feel.

#603

I know it’s obvious now that we have our own lives and that I’m the least to keep in touch among us (don’t know if there’s still us). But when it comes to feel like I need to reach out, it’s always them that crossed my mind. It’s okay if this feeling is not reciprocated, I still want to reach out to them. But I don’t. And I couldn’t. I wouldn’t know what to say, how to say it. I’m not sure exactly what I’m afraid of.

#602

A mindset of being a parent is defined by 'not enjoying life' is so bad that it needs to stop. People often say something like just be single and you can enjoy life. Like, is not having kids enjoyable? 

It does and it should be. Why it doesn't is because of the negative mindset.

I just really dislike it when people say something like, she's a mom, the other is pregnant, the other two are enjoying their life (as single women). It's like... wow hey, check back your caption girl.

Nonetheless, it is actually understandable and no offense is meant and taken. Especially if you see from the person's point of view, and the people that knows him/her.

#601 hoarse

Watching women live streamers, I'm thankful that my voice is not soft, rather hoarse lol Because I myself feel like geli geli if my voice is soft. Like it gives a different negative feel to listeners. 

Imagine a guy listens to your soft voice? Lol

If I'm attracted to a guy because of their manly deep voice, then a guy could be attracted to a girl because of her voice too xD

Lately I've been so attentive to girls' voices, like how even that their voices are so soft as compared to me. 

Still I'm thankful that my voice is kinda deep. My ex-colleague literally teased me with my deep voice. I could not forget that. At the time when I was teased, I kinda terasa. But then as time goes by, I'm thankful for it.

It gives me ease to talk to people without feeling guilty myself. I'm not blaming soft-voiced girls. It's natural, we are born with what we already have. So no blame is put on anyone lol

#600

One of the things that I look forward everyday is new blog posts from my close friends. Like, I really don't like Instagram. To me, it gives a different vibe. But blogs? It feels special.

#559

Lesson 7 of Thriving in the Digital World with Kindness

I think this is more to... creating a community, wanting to be heard by at least someone, etc, and not for personal use.

Because, as a post I've read on Mad's blog, it's, "Don't let anyone get the privilege of getting to know you." (-so easily).

I agree, for marketing, to be heard, if not for business, you need to do all that mentioned.

But me? I like to post photos on IG out of context. An emoji inserted, would be just because. A simple caption, incomprehensible, would be just because. 

Like for me, no, you don't need to know why I take and post this photo. Let them interpret however they like, be it negative or positive. A photo gives a thousand stories. And I know for a fact that, to avoid fitnah, you just simply don't post a photo that invites fitnah. Easy lol We are human with brains, akal.

I don't want people to understand what I actually want to portray or express. I like to make things out of context. I don't want any engagements. I just love my photos as they are. Well, that's just my way of using my personal IG.

Nevertheless, since I started live streaming, I have come to realise that some people like me for the person that I have portrayed. Those people who stayed, who still wants to hang out and watch me, to treat them, within the boundaries. Because during live streaming, I don't think I've become other person but myself. It is my own character. I did not create it. It has been inside me all along. And I might have nurtured her and she has grown and developed with me.

I agree that that character during live streaming is not the same as when I am not streaming, or when I am in front of a different crowd or party. It's the same as how you act differently in front of your family or your friends or your boss or your colleagues. Shrugs.

You can say that it is a persona that only lives in front of a camera. But, I'm okay with it. As long as I don't go against syariah, or that I lie to myself.

#558

You know it feels good when your friend has get something at least one thing in their life together. Like, I feel so happy for them, even though the future has yet to come. But for now, it's good news.

But sometimes I just don't know how to reach out to comfort them when they seem like they need someone to pour out things to.

#557

I guess I can't be left alone because that's when I think of the worst and stupidest things - my own death and dying.

#556

And I can’t blame anyone for not letting me in. 

#555

I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again. I think, when I die, nobody actually has good things to say about me. Neither do bad things. Because simply I don’t exist. I never cared for anyone. I doubt I am deeply missed. And I think that’s okay. It’s okay. 

#554

Mom called, I had no mood. I just want to be away from them. So I was harsh. And I can hear from her voice on the phone, the utter disappointment and kecilnya hati mak when I was being harsh. 

And Erin, you still wonder why your life does not have tranquility? 

#553 AAPlus IGC EP6

how you think will influence how you feel. how you feel will influence how you act. how you act will become a habit. and your habit will become yourself.

- Aiman Azlan

Well excuse me as I need to write that down in order to actually comprehend how it applies to my own situation lol I have been listening to that part so many times but just had to pause and apply it to myself first before I move on with the rest of the podcast.

Practising positivity
- Gratitude: Focus on good parts and how the good parts nurture you as a good human being. Allah gave everybody something and at the same time Allah did not give everybody something. The bad that others have while having the good, you might not be able to handle it. But he could. For instance, Allah gives extra patience for a person to face the people around him, which you won't be patient with, because Allah does not give you extra patience.
Putting this as principle of your life will make you grateful and not comparing yourself to other people's lives. I.e. "Everything that Allah has given you or has not given you is the best."
- Self-awareness: Why am I mad? Is it worth it to be mad?
- Self-talk: How you talk to yourself. A pattern of behaviour. How you communicate with yourself.
- Awareness that you have a choice: The fact that we do not know what Allah has planned for us is a BLESSING. It means that we always have a chance to have a different future based on what you choose to do today. So there's no such thing as Allah has written this for me, so I do not need to do anything.
- Be humble: The fact that only Allah knows, that we don't know.

#552 reminder

I’m just posting all these because people like these exist. The world is cruel. Shrugs

Edit:
Wed, Aug 7th, 11:22 AM

Cruelty includes the harsh reality that gangs actually exist. That you need to pay someone or do something for someone to get something.

Cruelty includes Muslim politicians actually do drugs or do adultery. Well actually, not just them. Celebrities or just normal people. It has become a norm and that's even sadder.

I am just trying to live, putting the 'Why' to my life, for Allah, and Allah only. Seriously. The reminder from my friend really helps. If I don't follow Islamic profiles on social media, alhamdulillah I have friends who love to give those kind of reminders.

p/s: The 'friend' is Muna, a revert. MasyaaAllah. I actually like to read hers and Hanis' WhatsApp stories. So full of reminders <3 br="">

#551

It’s funny that all you reply is just that sentence and also a screenshot of google search which proved I’m right. 

Inches is double prime - “

Foot is single prime - ‘

So what are you trying to say here?

And the fact that I’m left hanging like that lol

The customer service is so bad y’all just be thankful that IG don’t have ratings from customers. SMH

It’s sad that people don’t want to take an anonymous customer seriously. Like, what if it was a celebrity? I assure you they would treat them differently and better. 

I respect them but now having this reply, I kinda lost respect. They’re not like Anaabu’s customer service. I’m disappointed. 

#550

Here was a post about this IG shop https://beautificious.blogspot.com/2019/05/537.html

So I made a complaint then just ignored her reply because I was sick and annoyed by her ego and ignorance. 

After I made a couple of complaints the other day recently, I toughen up to read what she has said.

And it’s so disappointing. I just cannot with this kind of seller.

I’m so curious on sellers like this. Don’t you want to know what people think about your business? Ah yes, do whatever you think is right and ignore all the haters. But how can you improve without knowing your flaws?

I mean, I know I’m so egoistic that it’s hard to take criticism that I always cry when people tell the bad side of me. But I accept it. It’s true. And that’s where I could improve myself.

Since the first time I complained about the address, that tak sampai ke alamat saya ni sebab different courier. Since even that, no apologies AT ALL. Until the end of the conversation!

Can’t she just admit that yeah you need to check again on the courier. I don’t need your repeated explanation. You just don’t want to admit that you’re wrong lol zz

I like the clothes she sell but I think it’s better for me not to deal with this IG shop anymore. 

#549

A lot of times, we think we need to be reassured by someone else but what we don’t realise is, the worst criticism we often get is from ourselves and it’s actually our own toxic opinions that we need to save ourselves from.

We can’t change how people view us but we can change how we view ourselves. The person you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life is ultimately yourself, so don’t forget that YOU are in need of compassion just as much as the person next to you.

- dearsarina

#548 talkative friends

I realise it's easier for me to talk to people or be close to people who talk so much. I feel like I can easily open up to them.

I mean, look at my lower high school friends, Atul, An, Mad, Qila, Na'a, some others but not major;
My high school friends, Atira, Alia;
My Uni friends, Hannan and actually some others but I stopped trying to be natural because some realisation hit me...

Anyway. Those people, are talkative. And I'm close with them, or was close with them. Or so I thought.

The point is, in this world, it's really hard for me to talk, having conversations on random topics, even politics or global warming. I just couldn't. I'm passive like that.

#547 Reposts

I have tagged people and posted beautiful photos and what not. But with no context and no caption.

Alas, they still don't repost my photos on their stories or feed. Lol. I guess I'm not good enough.

Or maybe I cannot think that way. I should think that, the way they see it is so different than my perspective. Not just the people you tagged, but also every other person except yourself.

If I think it's pretty and worthy to myself, then it is. Shrugs.

This reminds me of my goals to post photos more often in a week. Maybe 2 photos?

I have edited all our photos but then I didn't have the mood to post. Even though I know I should just post. But the feeling of posting to public needs to be there too. It's some kind of feeling that I need it to be there not for others but for myself.

#546 KARMA

So we talked about karma.

Mobile Legends MPL and qualifying.

About Bosskur VS our friend's squad, 'W'(Not MPL, but some local national league.)

and Bosskur VS some international squad. 'Indo'

So there was a really unacceptable thing that Bosskur and the management did. There should have been a rematch but the management proclaimed that W said something like there's no need for a rematch when actually W did not say anything oppose to having a rematch! They showed us the screenshots and CLEARLY by SO MANY people that read those conversations see it as W wants a rematch. WTH?!

And things like this happened to Bosskur in international game. Where Bosskur is in W's shoes. 

So we thought, TAKE THAT KARMA. I think they deserved it. I mean, it happened. I don't feel sorry for them in this particular event. Karma is real.

#545 socks

Update on this post here.

I end up buying quite a few socks. Then added more after that. Lol. They are actually better quality than H&M, that I can't lie, I regret not buying grey colours.

I did make a purchase for 8 pairs of different colours for the new stocks. I haven't received them but I already don't feel good about it because it is not the glitter fabric. It might not be as quality as the glitter ones. I'm just worried if it would turn out like H&M socks. Sigh.

I would just give them away to my mom I guess.

#544 Complaining

You know, when people say, stop complaining, and be grateful to what you have. Make most of what you have etc etc.

I think, these quotes do not apply in customer rights, or consumerism. If customers don't complain, how would a business improve? How would sellers know what they lack of? How would sellers know what customers want?

So I guess I'm one of the customers, who like to give complaints. Sometimes I feel like I'm being annoying and not being grateful. But thinking that a business should know what customers think? Sellers themselves are not all perfect.

This reminds me of a Matta-Fair's promoter. She called my husband, and he didn't want it. He didn't need it. She snapped at that, man. She said, "Kalau encik tak nak package ni, there must be something wrong with you." WOW. That's harsh. So stupid. I just can't brain her marketing skills. W. T. H.

Actually, I just wanted to talk about kaeki and meinty. The things I want to complain are small issues but it just irks me. 

Kaeki's jeans. It says on the measurement that it is 26 inches, stretched to 35 inches. So here, wouldn't you think that without doing anything (stretching or adjusting to make it smaller) to the pants, the waist is 26 inches? So the waist measurement made me buy the pants because I don't need to adjust anything. I don't need to tie it to make it tighter on my waist. But when I tried it on, it is so freaking loose. I thought it was 28 inches, but it is a good 30-freaking-inches. 4 inches difference? Or ~9cm difference? And you only allow like what, 1cm difference?

And you know what's worst? They proudly present the symbol of inches in the measurement chart as ', i.e a single apostrophe. That's the symbol for foot?!?!?!?!?!? The ignorance! You are busy with your own business, that you don't take your collaboration seriously? Three heads but not a single person to notice that small mistake?

Move on to meinty. There's a measurement on the one I bought and already wear it twice by now. It has dropped shoulders, 24" (thankfully they spell the symbol right). And the sleeves are 26". I asked, is the sleeve measurement from neckline or shoulderline? She answered shoulder. If it's from shoulder, then it's kind of really long if you look at the photo. Like I would believe it's from shoulder if the length is around 19-20". Even that is already long enough. I didn't argue much because she said the sleeves are long, especially if you usually wear M size, and the fact that it does look long in the photos for a quite broad shoulder person.

It fits well when I tried it on. I like it even. Just that, her answer 'shoulder' for the measurement, it irks me. Because it's only a good 17 inches, while the length from neckline is 27-28 inches. So, the measurement that she put on is probably from neck line and NOT shoulder line, even though it's out 1-2 inches, because maybe they don't take into account the cuff length.

Here I am, wondering, what does it mean by measurement from neck line or shoulder line? You don't expect people to measure the shoulder length from a non-existing line, that only you know about it? Lol SHAKE MY HEAD

Sorry. I haven't told them about this, but I'm going to, now. I hope I don't come as too harsh. I don't want to. Just want to let them know. Shrugs.

Update 12:50pm

Texted (WA-ed) Meinty. They apologised and politely said will take note on the measurement. Good PR skills yaw

Update 2:42pm

Texted Kaeki agent. And dare her to say, "Dia ok je sebab adjustable *smiley*." Like, sis, okay to me or okay to you? Okay to you? Why? You don't need to forward this matter to HQ?

I thought of anonymously complain about this. Also thought that, isn't that being coward? But then I realise, so what? I'm a real customer. I exist. I bought your items and I deserve to be anon. There are anon feedbacks in this world.

Anyway, obviously it's not okay for me? I complained, and I explained why. Like, is it not better if you ask, instead of giving a statement? For instance, "Does it fit you well?" or "Do you want an exchange?" or "Apologies for the wrong measurement."

Oh well

#543

I know that confidence builds by doing. But I am really uncomfortable showing my own face broadcasting to public. Not because I'm not pretty, but because I don't talk much. And even if my face is not shown, I don't talk much too. 

I just basically don't talk much to people since I stopped working in Audit field. Like on serious note, I only talk with my husband.

I don't know how to converse with men at work, other than about work. It feels so uncomfortable. I've got so many things on my head that I could say out loud. That I could joke about. But nothing comes out. 

Well heck, I might not even know how to converse with all other men. I can't. I couldn't. Is it that I feel insecure? That I'm so preserved in the presence of men. 

Hence all these results to me being so difficult to talk in front of cameras. Although I know I like to, like I was in high school, when Attira and I hyped up each other.

I don't know if I can do this. My body didn't feel good yesterday anyway. Like the day itself was overwhelming, I guess.

#542 Facebook Gaming

https://www.facebook.com/erinKARRA.my/

Hey guys. So I've been busy on doing live streaming lately. I do live streaming on mobile games, especially Mobile Legends and PUBGM. My dear friends and family out there, you're welcome to watch. Lol!

I'm working on editing the videos + videos I screencaptured form my phone, to be uploaded on my YouTube game channel. I haven't started anything yet though. It's like vlogging, but about mobile gaming.

I pray this works well.

#541

Today I learnt that, work ethics is so important.

Please please please tell your employer/superior if you could not come for work for the day. There are many possibilities like you got into accident or something that worries them. They might also think you are deliberately being absent. It’s not good for yourself, your image, your mental health, as I know you worry too much. 

#540 Boost shake rewards

I notice that since this week, the shake rewards have reduced immensely, from average of RM2.50 to only RM0.30. Lol making loss lettew

#539

I miss my friend. We used to be close. I used to keep tabs. But I was always selfish. I don't think I'm her close friend lol but I'll just say she is one. I wish I could be there and give her big tight hugs.

Because life, just ain't that easy.

#538

I wonder why I didn’t take any photos for yesterday and today’s outing. 

Yesterday I got to meet my verily missed close friend - she came over to my house, and we got to break our fast together with UiTM bros. *happy tears*

A two-storey condominium bruh! 

Then today I got to finally go to KLCC with Ha. And FINALLY bought that straw bag I’ve been eyeing on preloved items on Carousell. Hah! I bought Topshop’s straw bag. Yes it costs so much but I don’t care. That was all I bought though. I saw the shoes I like but then I know I wouldn’t wear it in the near future. What more those frikin pretty Timberland hiking boots. 

Stopped by home to send the kuih then alhamdulillah got ourselves rendang made by Dad. 

I got flu and period today but alhamdulillah still *hugs*

#537

 

 Okay first, I know I should have confirmed with her, which courier she is using. I was confident it was Poslaju because previously she used Poslaju. In the end, I know I can't blame anyone.

So well, I think she knows that Ezibox is only for Poslaju because she said, "Ada customer bagi alamat ezibox juga, tapi sampai ke dia." So she knew. But can't she think more of that? I think she never experienced much on this, to have a customer other than ezibox UIA? Lol smh

Not even a sorry. Not even a reply. SMH.

Confidentnya la pos guna J&T dengan alamat ezibox. SMH