#375

Those times when you wear a bra without the cup and especially when your boobs don't fill the bra so they turn out to look weird and shaggy

And that's one of the reason you cover your chest with hijab

#374

For all I care he can marry whoever he wants. Let me just be single for the rest of my life. Simple. 

#373

Kalau betul bil lektrik dah nak cecah RM400 untuk bulan ni, memang bodoh. Kalau aku tinggal sorang mesti tak sampai RM100. Heck, students tinggal sepuluh orang satu rumah pun tak sampai RM200. Memang la saving duk rumah mak ayah tapi kau tak fikir pulak makan minum bil lektrik bil air bil wifi bil bil house maintenance? Siapa yang guna rumah ni? Kau jugak. Bodoh. Kalau dah tahu tak mampu bayar, jangan guna elektrik sewenang wenang nya. Kau pakai melantak je guna elektrik tak kesian kat ayah kau. Sampai bila kau nak bagi dia menyara kau? Sampai uzur? Sampai mati? Manja sangat ngan diri sendiri nak pasang aircond. Kalau mak yang manja takpelah, ni korang yang muda. Dah lah takde initiative nak bayar. Bangang

#372

I don't know. I feel so happy when I see my friends still hanging it together. Like, sabians with sabians. Kuatagh with kuatagh. UITM with UiTM. It makes me believe that people still stay throughout the years being apart.

It just give the warmth in my heart

#371

I always wonder why I'm not fond with showing who my special one is. Sebab aku malu kalau tak jadi?

Now I know why. Because at the very first days of getting to know each other, he already told me to stop hoping. Posting means giving hope. 

When I tried forgetting my feelings for Ja'i, I told myself, you will stop hoping for Ja'i when you found other guy. You did found another guy to give your love. But it took a few years. And tbh it is still there. The feeling. And it hurts. The pain, the suffering of forgetting.

So now, you're asking yourself to do that to Ha? Are you kidding me? Ha is the perfect guy for you (when you minus his family and where he lives). You've known each other too well... too long...

You always wonder how it would be to be with someone else... to be with someone who looks better. But they never fit into your personality. No one can replace Ha. Ha is very special. All the daydreaming with other guys, you only give them Ha's personality.

And you can't even stand imagining Ha with someone else. You can't even imagine yourself with someone else while being the real you.

So what is going to happen now? Should you go and impress your future in laws? Or should Ha make more effort? Who's to blame here? Is it that we do have jodoh but the timing is not now?

Tbh deep down I'm okay if we don't get married yet. 25 is the limit. But also deep down I want to be free while I wait. I don't want to be tied to him. I always make myself available. Opening my heart to just anyone whom I find attractive, inside or out.

I don't know how to say no to other people who ask me about him. See, it's complicated but not. I want to marry him but I'm tired of waiting so I prefer not to be be his girlfriend or labelled as one.

I'm just not going to let the world know.