Aug 31, 2012

Invites

Remind me to invite everyone. Lol. I feel bad somehow.

Aug 26, 2012

Those random times


You know, sometimes you can’t say you’re alone. You can’t say you have nobody in this world. Especially saying that publicly, that the world would know.

Someone close to you, might get hurt. At least that person thinks he’s close to you, when you’re feeling like shit.

When they see you be that way, they’d be like, “Why the heck would you say that? Don’t you think I’m your friend? Don’t you think you can count on me? Aren’t I not good enough as a friend for you?”

Well, I don’t know. I have felt the feelings from both sides. That’s what I think. But I still think I’m the awkward lonely potato. I just… am hopeless

Worthless

I feel so worthless. Among my friends from anywhere. Among those except my family.

Yes, I feel belonged to my family. Of course. That’s definite.

But friends. I feel like I’m nothing. Sigh

Aug 24, 2012

Self-anger

Aku berang, dengan diri sendiri.

Why in the world do I not have the mood to meet people? To meet my friends from hometown (Kuala Lumpur) whom I seldom see? Especially who's gonna study out of town? WHY THOUGH, WHY

I feel like a douche bag. Really. Likewise, I'm so upset that I am not invited to any hang outs here, that I ain't included in a plan. Sucks, no?

No blame put on my buddies, though. You only get what you give. You'll be treated like how you treat other people @ Treat people like how you want to be treated.

In this case, I treat them bad. Never cared to ask if they are free. I just waited. And when asked, I replied as if I don't wanna hang out at all. What seems to be the problem here I wonder.

I think I'll be so full of regret in the near future. About this.

Writing this, I am still lazy to meet anyone. I just want to sit at home and not care about the outside world. Till the class starts again.

Aug 18, 2012

Listen

When someone tells you something, about their life, listen. Be a good listener. Focus. Stop doing something else. Let him know that you care. That you are interested in what he has got to say. Which you actually do.

People won't tell twice about their life especially sensitive ones. And it's weird to ask back what a person told you the other day.

It's like you didn't even pay attention to him. It's like you are just using what he has, to your own benefit.

Don't do that. That's rude. And all you wanted actually, was to spend time talking with him.

Aug 16, 2012

Bond of the unity

Most people who we are close with, are with those who we always spend time together. Once again, I feel belonged. I feel like I have a family here. That I needn't worry if I came back here. Because I have them.

What I felt with my dear 5A classmates, I feel that again, with my dear batchmates. Last night. Last night proves it all.

When we recited a Jamaah prayer, I felt the bond between us. The bond is the strongest when it is for Allah. It always has been, when it is for Allah. It's like we're bringing each other to a better place, a better level, to be better persons, because of Allah. Lillahi Ta'ala.

Not bragging, but I am most proud with my friends. Such noble hearts deserve good friends. Who they are outside between us differs a lot when it comes to facing Allah. Of course, right? Put aside all those annoying teases, when it comes to salaah. Everyone has good hearts. No doubt that we connected through Allah. Allah eases every pain.

Having them along, reminding about Islam, especially prayers...you are just so lucky to have them. Some people drift away from the right path. But fate brings us together closer to Allah. Wherever we go, we always think of salaah. Never that we intentionally forget about it, for instance by not mentioning it to each other.

I understand how Atul feels about her UM friends. When she only feels it once, I had it twice. Sejuk hati bila ada kawan lelaki dan perempuan sebaik ini. Yang lelaki lagilah, dipandang tinggi bila Allah diutamakan. Just because it is hard to find guys like these nowadays.

They may be different from what they appear last night. They may be different if it were to be at other places. But when we are together, that was how it is. Good hearts, showed through salaah. Because there is potential.

How I am so grateful to have them in my life. Once again I feel belonged and not a stranger with no friends. Wherever you are in SA, you could ask for them, fgs a big circle of GOOD friends. When you are in need, you could ask for help. Always. At least that's what I think.

The fact that Puan Roszana is present in our life, brings more light to this friendship. It's like Abi to 5 Amanah. That's how Puan is, to us. And here I thought I'd never feel that again...

You know what we should do? Spend more time together. Do more activities together. Like how my brother's 'Weekenders Club' does. Be'es said that it's good. Because after you graduate and start working, it's hard to meet up. People with different life, place... we're just in separate ways already.

Perhaps I'm getting too emotional about this. But don't you agree? Don't you feel it? We can work it out, in between the class schedule. No force or whatsoever. But we try to make something.

I am so touched by this bond between us. If feels good. It feels right. Put aside all the hatred, all the grudges between us. Because I value our friendship that much, that those petty silly things should not be dragged till it ruins the bond. When you see it the other side, positively, you'll see there's more happiness than just darkness.

When you put away the black ones, you'll see... girlfriends or boyfriends.. they give you joy, even by different ways. Whenever you feel contented, that's the happiness you feel.

In another couple of years, insyaAllah, we would still be together, united as how we are now, and not separated by bad things, or bored of each other. No, insyaAllah.

Friends do get bored of each other tho. I mean, you see them everyday, and go everywhere together. But then, we should not feel so tied up to this. Just relax, be with anyone, but in heart, we know who we are.

InsyaAllah, with a good intention, brings good unity.

Friendship, a hardwork

I am a bit upset with my friends. It's so hard to meet up for iftar. But time ang again, we are in separate ways. It's hard to have the same holiday. It's difficult. A friendship with them is an absolute hardwork.

But you know what's great having them? We are from the same place. During holidays, we are at the almost same region (at least, before we marry someone and settle down). That, if in the same time of holiday, it'd be easy for us to hang out and meet up.

This rare occasion of meeting up - it's a good thing. It's like, when we finally got to meet up, we'd use the best out of it. We appreciate the meeting. As though we'll never see each other for a long time, as though the next meet up is when we have kids.

So. If not in Ramadhan, in raya we'll meet then. After all, it's the last 10 days of Ramadhan. I don't wanna ruin it for anybody even for myself. Perhaps we should focus more with akhirah right now, rather than dunya. InsyaAllah this sacrifice will bring to good things.

FREAKS