#36

See. It’s easy to say you wanna vanish. But it’s not that easy to be gone. You still need to live. 

Maybe I’m just not that empathetic when it comes to dealing with humans. My words are not kind, my tones are harsh, my body language mocks people even when my head says be empathetic. 

My EQ seems not that high although my teacher said that it is. 

I always try not to spark any fight but his sensitive heart is always touched. I feel so dejected every day if that were to happen. Especially when I had to go to work. 

Then I remembered about AA lesson about how Rasulullah SAW address and handle issues because of his high EQ. When we want to deal and address issues, you need to look at the timing and that each party is safe and peace at heart, is in good condition, good health. It’s not good to just “let’s settle it right here right now”. So idk, I pray we are okay. I pray—

May Allah mend our broken hearts. 

May Allah soften our hearts. 

#35

I was doing my work. Lost track of time and date.

But as I chill out and ready to write a journal, typed out the date, it looks so familiar and it warms my heart. 

Sanah helwah Mad

May you always be under Allah’s protection.

May Allah always keep you safe, well, happy, blessed.

❤️🌸

#34

Lol I was wondering what was my post #33 about. About suicide xD I guess that episode has passed... Coz no I do not want to kill myself. Should I take it down or leave it, just for keeps? Lol

Anyway. I wanted to talk about, women uploading selfies, particularly those with hijab.

Idk man. How you don't put yourself in other people's shoes, open yourself, be more empathic, understanding people.... just upsets me so much.

Seriously though, you can't blame men/public for using photos against you. Please... use logic haha geram je lah. It's 2020, yes. But Syaiton don't look at time. They are always there to lure people out of the right path. Please girls. Sigh.

Like, girl. I knew what Amad meant since I was young. Your pretty face, and only just your pretty face or even EYES (for niqabis) can help men to fantasies MORE than just that. They just need your face even though they have not seen your body.

Be aware of the consequences of your own actions. ALL the possibilities. Like girl, gambar awak ni kan, lawa tau. Bibir pun merah pink gebu. Like, really, your photo is for people to tenung and say, she's pretty. Kulit dalam gambar tu pun flawless je. Ok? Yes, your intention when you wanna upload your selfies must have been pure. But you REAAAALLY CANNOT blame men for using it against you. Again, be aware of the consequences of your own actions.

We cannot control what people think and do, okay? Just be careful and don't blame people. I'm not saying that it's okay for people to do that. But you need to step into reality that these things happen outside of our control. Sama je lah semua yang defend dia ni kat replies zzzz geram hahahah

I might also have my photos on tumblr that people use against me, even though bertutup litup, but I know the consequences, and I always pray that kita dijauhkan dari perkara tu.

We can educate people but it's up to them to lower their gaze or to control their thoughts or not.

There's this reply that says, this is real, not girls who want to blackmail you, this is cyberbullying. Well girl, nak cari satu satu yang buat benda ni? Sampai ke sudah tak dapat cari. In the end, police can just advise, bewaspadalah.