Oct 10, 2014

Downgrade.

One thing for sure... I may not mind being at the bench for the whole game
I may not mind that they hate me for skipping training sessions
I may not mind I would not be liked by them
I know for a fact that they would, even not showing it, get mad at me because I know I owe them my time for training
I know for a fact that they would or might have downgraded me for being ignorant and selfish

Perhaps I might have also done this to the Chronicles crew
Perhaps also that I might have done this since day one, to my batchmates whom I needed to work with with some events

It's a lonely way to live
Even the closest person around hates me for it
I chose to be ignorant. But seriously? It is not a bliss.

I could give you these possible situations.
I could have been a better person if I were to still live in that area, in a rented house.
I could have been better if I am willing enough to ask my friends if I could stay a night or two
But no. I didn't. I might have purposely ignored everything and run away from my responsibility.
Responsibility! If you are ignorant of people, maybe that's okay. But responsibility? I do not think it's a wise thing to do.

Ah yes I could reason and justify my situations but only in terms of IQ
I think my EQ is not as high as what my high school teacher proclaimed
I am failing miserably... And I wonder what happens to my working life
Change is inevitable. But what kind of change will I be?

Oct 5, 2014

Judgmental psychologically

We’re taught to look like other people. Like you should lose this much weight right after you have a baby. That person is that size. If you’re one of those people, you feel like, I’m letting everyone down. It can’t be that true. I think it’s really hard for people to have the confidence to focus on themselves without being somewhat judgmental psychologically.

FREAKS