Nov 4, 2011

Old crush

Before I even knew you went overseas, I've come to realize that I've made a mistake.

I know perhaps we remain friends now. Anyhow I don't even remember saying let's just be friends. And I remember that I didn't even want to have anything to do with you, after I confessed to you.

I realized, before I told people about my regrets. I already realized, that I have made a mistake. You were the only who see through me. Through whatever I am. At least I think it seems so.

It seems like I've let go of a perfect person. That total regret.

But now you don't even try to start a conversation or reply to my messages. Well I guess you're not that kind of person.

Jul 12, 2011

Hidup #9

Segala suka duka, penghinaan dan ejekan harus kutelan sendiri. Dan aku sedar risiko ini sejak mula, sejak aku tahu aku harus menjalani praktikal sendirian kali ini. Syakila dan Maria masing-masing membawa diri ke destinasi pilihan masing-masing.
I'm abandoning blogger. I have a more amazing way of expressing my feelings than here.

Jun 4, 2011

Hidup #7

Mencari kejujuran manusia pada hari ini samalah seperti mencari sebutir permata daripada kilauan pasir di pantai, hanya satu dalam sejuta.

May 31, 2011

Hidup #6

Sekukuh mana pun tembok yang dapat menahan ombak kepedihan yang menggelapar dalam dada, ia akhirnya runtuh jua!

May 30, 2011

I could not sleep throughout that night... pt. 2

The second I turned to my left, a puma look-alike was about to leap at me, roaring, making its many layers of teeth visible. Yet with a speed of light, I jumped to the other side as to dodge its attack. I fell with a hard bump. It was painful but the beast was not about to give up.

I took a branch that lay on the floor which happened to have a sharp end and stood up. The beast gritted its teeth and I made the first move. I jerked the rather heavy branch towards the beast. Instead, the beast bit the branch and tried to shake if off my hands.

As I struggled, I thought, ‘Friday. It is the day that mother told me not to ever step into the woods on this particular day.’ She never told me why but now I got it.

An ancient story said that the beast was actually beyond a man’s fight. Without further due, I let the ranch go and broke into a run. I did not know where I was heading because fear rushed through me. I tried not to trip over the obstacles on the ground or a branch on my head. Adrenaline rush really helped me to survive.

I did not dare to turn around but just ran like a wind. When I saw an open end, I was the happiest person in the world. I kept running and the moment I saw something familiar about the open end, I tried to stop. Yet inertia kept me moving forward and when I did, I was actually jumping off a cliff to see a vast sea before me. I could hardly scream as I was approaching the water with an increasing velocity.

As the water seemed closer, I embraced myself and entered the sea with a big splash. Fortunately my three years of swimming class helped me to get my head above the water.

With a superior strength, I swam to the shore with a furious speed. As I reached the shore, I panted really hard. It was as if jumping from a frying pan into a fire! I looked high up above and saw the beast at the cliff. I could not believe that the cliff was extremely high, and I had survived the jump, without breaking any of my bones. I believed that no normal human could possibly survive that. That was why this terrifying tragedy made me wide awake, unbelieving of the truth.

May 29, 2011

Hidup #5

Amat kekok mendepani anak-anak. Tak tahu bagaimana harus bertindak dan bergaul, apa yang harus kuperbual dan apa yang tak boleh. Kalau dengan rakan sebaya atau remaja seusia Anita, tentu saja aku boleh berkasar atau mengejek. Tapi kalau dengan anak-anak kecil, dapatkah aku buat demikian?

May 28, 2011

Hidup #4

Tak mungkin kuceritakan perasaanku yang sebenarnya kepada sesiapa, apatah lagi pada orang yang baru kukenal. Itu memang sikapku yang biasa – berbohong, berpura itu juga perlu dalam hidup ini. Persahabatan boleh musnah jika terlalu berterus terang.