Oct 31, 2013


“You are in every line I have ever read.”
— Charles Dickens, from Great Expectations
In fact, in everything I see. Everything I hear. Even when the eyes are closed, images of you are so crystal clear. Your voice echoes in my head. Your words affect me wholly. That smile of yours, can I make it forever? The sight of you is so vivid, how to shake it off? Would I even want to shake it off? *Chuckles*

Tried to sleep. But I failed tremendously. This is not healthy

Oct 25, 2013

yet another wed

And we got to play dress up

Oct 24, 2013


If I lost him, who would I have?
For I have given up everyone
Isolating myself
Passive as I am
I refused to enjoy the gift of friendships

When there are so many potential persons you can clique with
You chose to be this

Who else can change that but you?


It has been long since I acted crazy. My friends. Myself. Where do I find? How is it lost?

Oct 18, 2013


I read somewhere that one can never complete another. It's a constant strive in a relationship.

That's how it works in relationships. Because each partner would try to complete another, over and over again, though they know it can never be achieved. Still it is done, until death due them apart. Until jannatul Firdaus, insyaaAllah.

October 17th

Going back to campus just for a two-hour class. Ate lunch at the hotel, and waited for the bus.

As I waited, I was contemplating on whether I should stay for a while, or should I just go home, run from reality? Because the house never feels like home. It's an agony to stay there. People don't care. And it's stupid not to

My heart was somewhere else tho. So staying was not an option.

The whole journey was peace. The bus was not crowded with people. The train was acceptably silent from the voices of people. Having a car stopped because it was a zebra crossing, made it better. Bless that person, for making a person's day better.

I skipped the part where I got to meet my niece. Should it not be a pleasant incident? Why am I not thrilled? Detaching myself from the world, from my family; I have never liked the surrounding when it is near to a wedding ceremony. Being alone, I am used to.

Shall I realize one day that, family, is where you go to in the end, always. At least in my case, that is. I hope it won't be too late to realize their importance. Maybe I realized, but the change is difficult. And change is always difficult. A hardship that one needs to go through.

And always remember, what goes around comes around. Would they treat me how I've treated them now and before?

Oct 9, 2013


And nothing can ever give full contentment except Allah swt
May all be fine
May all be good
May things work

Oct 5, 2013


She couldn't help but looking at the downside of the relationship. Like making assessment of possible risks; the probability for the risks to materialise, and the impact to her life if those risks really happen.
She couldn't help but being pessimist.
Because all of this came down to, is this for Him, or is this for lust?


Don't dwell when you yourself chose to isolate yourself from the world, from the people. You make the choice, you bear the consequences.

Oct 3, 2013

MRSM dan makan

Rasa bersyukur bila masa duduk MRSM dulu, dapat makan enam kali sehari. Forever lapar tapi forever perut penuh jugak. Ada pulak peluang nak bersukan setiap petang. Semua benda senang.