Sep 27, 2015


When a person is handsome or beautiful, you couldn't much deny the fact that they are, and the fact that any interaction between you and him (in this case it's a guy) makes you giggly.

I could always be peramah and ask him stuff but I didn't. To all the people I began to talk with, I let it hanging. It ended just there. What a bummer. I could have done something.

So I reread this on 19th November 2015 and thinking, when was this? Which guy? Damn I could not recall a thing.

Okay. Update: This is about the airport dude. I mean, this entry was posted on 27th September. I was at the airport that day, coming back from Melbourne. How did I not think about it? I've forgotten the date I went to Melbourne lol. It crossed my mind when the post about wanting to do MPA instead of MBA.

So this airport dude. Haha. He helped me with my luggage. I mean, seriously, my luggage was HUGE. The way I was lifting it, it could easily tell you that it was heavy for me. I had to do it by myself.

I was queuing for the custom, not knowing a cute guy behind me, until it was my turn. It felt really silly to lift the bag because it was freakin' heavy. The women police was not that friendly to help me with it. Yea I mean whatever, you're trained, I know you can carry anything heavy.

Yeah it took me some long seconds to put the bag on the tray. When exiting, I was like, okay, Erin, prepare to lift the bags without taking too much time. But no. The smaller bag came out first. So I just simple lifted it and put on the trolley first. But then how was I supposed to put the bigger bag? So I was like, trying and trying to put the bag on the trolley, but failed. I decided to just take out the smaller bag aside, to make room for the bigger luggage.

Then at that time, gosh, that time, he asked, "Boleh ke? Meh saya tolong." "Oh ok.." He easily lifted the bag onto the trolley while I took a glance on how he is. He's a skinny guy. But I saw he kind of brought some sports tool. Badminton? I can't recall. He's not just a skinny guy. Maybe because guys are meant to be strong even when they are skinny. So he seemed to be a strong guy. He lifted with ease, cam tak terhegeh hegeh.

Then after the first bag, I wanted things to end so quick that I took (or tried to) the smaller luggage. But then he also offered his hand to lift that bag so I just simply 'okay' and handed him the bag handle and accidentally, our skin touched. His hand was quite cold.

Then, done with my stuff, I just said, "Thank you." I mean, just imagine how I don't talk that much??? Ruginyaaa. Then I just went off without waiting him or look at him in the eye to say thank you or whatever else. I saw him went off first when we arrived outside. I had to wait for my parents. So there was where it ends. That's it.

Sep 25, 2015


Phone cameras are rubbish unless they have optical zoom. They all have tiny sensors. Digital zoom is just image degradation. End of report.
Link. My savior, thank you.

Sep 24, 2015


I have an unhealthy obsession over my friend's beautiful face.

Sep 23, 2015


You set a trend not following the shariah. And millions of people follow, bearing the sin in which you are one of the cause. You have already sinned, then you make others follow you. How terrible is that?

I feel deeply sad seeing people looking up and follow the trend set from these hijabsters.

Very skinny pants. Ankle-length pants with no decency to cover up the feet. The style of hijab. The smaller and above the breasts, the more stylish looking you are. Then the sinsing lengan. That looks cool, ey?

It's true. Benda yang dapat dosa ni memang best je bila buat.

It's also really hard for me to not follow the trend though. You just need to take a step back and look everything as a whole.

Sep 22, 2015


There are many small things I want to talk about. But the strongest feeling now, is to apply for Monash University for MBA which costs AUD38,700. Multiply by three would be around MYR 120K.Like... where do I get the money... I really hope and pray my brother in law could help me on this.

But before applying, I have another obstacle. One of the requirement is to have English language as medium of my degree course. But ACCA is 100% English. What more do you want? I hope they reply me ASAP...

I'm going to apply once I get the reply from admin. Then only I think of loan from MARA. The intake is Feb 2016 and I need to act fast. Oh Allah please hear my prayer.

Sep 16, 2015

#162 Pieces of 5A

Raya made some of us reunite. It was Syaf's open house specially for us. It was late, but for the sake of my friends, the feeling to meet them was so strong.

I am so grateful that I made that decision. Remember when I said my 5A classmates are the best classmates I've ever experienced in my whole life? It's true. That day has proven to me again, that they really are the best. We gossiped on so many things lol (istighfar)

Also, my guyfriends at high school are as cool as my UiTM guyfriends. I mean, I felt like home already. I felt like I was hanging out with the boys, but actually it was with my high school boys and girls. I think the sole reason to this is because my college guyfriends are also from MRSM, and they kind of have the same treat one way or another.

I wish I could have joined the trip to Kuantan. But this raya visit was sufficient.


That moment when you can't get over how wonderful your work turns out.

My friends since UiTM (might also be since MRSM) have been asking me to pursue this interest of mine. I didn't see myself to be doing this. Because there are just so many photographers out there. What more when they capture neat photos just by using a mobile phone. Even when I was the photography for my batchmates and activities in UiTM, there are just more out there who took better photos than mine. I feel insecure. I feel like it would not be my field.

My batchmates have asked me to take classes of photography to enhance my skills. But I didn't. I thought of every possible thing, but I didn't make it happen. I didn't make it happen.

One opportunity came to me; a friend who knows my amateur photography skills. And I don't ask for anything. Coz I know my skills are not up to that point. So I thought. Why not. To help a friend.

One thing in life is that, never do things half heartedly. Like some people they might not do things whole heartedly and at their best because they don't get paid enough. No. Do things with sincerity. 

Besides, I know it would be a great exposure to me. I have never done an actual photoshoot for a business. To be honest, I've been experimenting skills on capturing models. I have a lookbook profile for it. I look at random profiles and try the poses on my own. Also I try to capture the photos, which usually Ha is the model. We try tho.

And finally I have used it for the real deal. I don't know about wedding photography, I don't much like it lol tapi kalau di situlah rezeki, kita terima.

My cousin was right. Just hangout on weekends to get exposure, to capture whatever you find interesting, even if you don't get paid. I didn't listen to him though. I stayed at home instead. Silly me.

However I still have more spaces to improve. Because I lack interaction. Which is something very important in this world.

Sep 15, 2015


It's so magical how something you always have in mind to do it but redha je coz it seems impossible. But then it actually happened.

To elaborate about this, I've been wanting to take photos together at Skypark when the three of us were in one team. But me being me, I always couldn't get myself to ask them for a photo.

Precisely, it's the incident where us three took a photo together. And.... my creys
Honestly I am almost as tall as Qad on my left here. I just did so for Zalila.


I dreamt of singing with another two close friends and we had the loveliest voices I never thought we would. Only that, it's because our minds are capable of the impossible.


This morning a pak cik with I think ranger rover or HRV sounded the horn at me because I was blocking the way. Little did he care that I was going to park. As if I'm the immature parking person... Then you gave me that look... Like wth....
I realize tho afterwards, I could have just gone into the lot first, then only adjust my car when the road is free..
Whatever pak cik


I'm the kind of yang benda belum mula lagi, tapi dah gelabah cam lipas kudung. And it is always regarding passing exams.


I just don't make time for people. I wonder how my house mates get along so well and I'm here like potato. It's like I didn't exist. I don't make time for any of them and to rant this to them is useless because it's my own fault. I have them as friends but not like Mad and Atul friend. I guess I can't change because it's all on me. I chose to be this.

And it kind of still happens in my working life... coz I have Faris and Ha. I don't know what's wrong with me


At National Mosque for our second photoshoot, a foreigner asked me to take a photo of him in the mosque. Then he asked where I was from. I don't know know to whom he directed the question; to us or to me. So I said, "Oh yea we're local."
"Oh, so you live in Kuala Lumpur?"
"Yea yea, we live here."
"Ahhh I see. Have a good day then. Take care!"

He waved and carved a wide charming smile. I replied, "Hey, you too! Take care!"

I couldn't help but feel so happy. Right then I had a theory for myself. I might have a unique face that people think I'm just not a Malaysian. Kekekeke

Later on, walking back to our sitting spot, I was like, Eh but he sounded like an Arabic guy. Why did he have to wear that robe? Maybe he was not a Muslim. Hmmmmmm..... no idea.

Lol I was rambling to myself in front of a merely stranger. Whatever.


I feel like, Twitter is not safe for my freedom of speech. The more I know that more people a reading, the more insecure I would feel. Of course I would love for people to read my thoughts. But Twitter kind of beats the purpose. Twitter is somehow for lazy people. They are interested to scroll through because it's easy to read bits of this and that and not wholly.

And it's always because of the word limitation that could get the wrong message to be delivered. Or the message to be wrongly interpreted. Though yes, people look at things differently. My tweets are always vague that I sometimes feel pointless to tweet about it. Sometimes also I feel like my tweet could hurt some readers or raise issues and dramas so I just couldn't make myself to voice that freely.

Nonetheless the word limitation to deliver a message is a good of an art of precision. Which I am not good at. Unless sometimes I just like to babble.....

But hey, it's a pity for me that people couldn't know what my tweets really mean. Because most of them are just one out of a thousand pieces of the stories.

And the stories are always more than just that one tweet.

Sep 12, 2015

#153 Graduation gift

From my dearies Teha and Amal.
I smiled like a goof receiving this parcel. Things like this are always heart warming, they're so kind and loving, that I feel like such a bad friend all these years.
I wish you know how much I appreciate everything.

Sep 9, 2015


I am meant for more than just this.


Kenapa rasa asyik nak berhenti kerja? Rasa tidak syukur? Ketahanan diri tak kuat? Kerja yang tak sesuai? Colleagues tak menarik?

Sep 7, 2015


To my long bearded friend, I was awe struck to actually witness your beard in real life. Like, dude, shit got real


Remember when we all used to joke about who's going to be the wedding planner? Who's going to bale the cakes? Who's going to be the photo/videographer? Who's going to design the wedding dress? The wedding place? All of us have the talent to do that. But because of time constraint and we being in a state where we don't know what to do with ourselves at this young age.

And the time actually came. It was Haz who has gone first. With the lovely adorable Mona. They were depending on me for photos. But of course I am always not ready... my skills are not on point. Or the lighting was not helping much I just feel terrible for the bad photos...