Dec 29, 2013

anything can happen

When you open your heart to someone, you’re jumping into the risks that:
You could lose him because of death anytime
or that he’d find someone more interesting than you in the future
or that suddenly his parents give no blessings
or that he’d have an arranged marriage
or that he has forgotten about you because of mental problems
or that his heart just changes..for whatever reason
or many other reasons

It’s about taking the risks. And embrace it. Maybe that is what you should do, if it gives you happiness. Although you know, someday…anything can happen

Comfort zone

I know I’m wasting my time
But deciding to be involved in some activity is so hard I afraid I wouldn’t get those long sleep I’ve had since class ended. The feeling of no urgency and all. And I’m afraid to let those go.
I guess it seems like I’m afraid to be out of my comfort zone

And soon class will begin.

Dec 14, 2013


Sometimes it sucks to be the one who tries to mend everything. It's like you're not important enough to be thought about. And yet you still try.. How long can you hold on?

Dec 13, 2013

Unfateful journey

Actually the main reason I'm bawling right now is because he's going, and I'm not. Jealousy everywhere. It's like I want to be where he is. Aaaaaaaaaa. I could just take a cab, go to the bus station, randomly buy a ticket, and off to the destination. But no, I can't. I couldn't. Family holds me back. And with mum's worry of flood, the picture of me being stranded and such; mum won't just let me. And I couldn't let her worry. She has worried enough for my anxiety over my exams.

Another is the fact that.. I just... I want another journey. A journey with friends. Last year it was Port Dickson. But this year... I ain't going anywhere with them. I'm just going to be here at home, doing what I don't know. Some are going to Singapore. Some are in Terengganu. Others I don't know.

And the fact that my batch mate was getting married (already married now), really adds up to the whole journey that could have been! I'm a I-could-go-anywhere-anytime without family things or just without other stuff. But this time it's different. I'm stuck here.

Well, if something does not go your way, enjoy it anyway. Make every second counts. You don't want to be this pathetic girl who is so lifeless mourning on not getting what she wants, while at the same time, other people are having fun. Just prove to yourself that you can still have fun, no matter where you are. C'mon. I need to bear that in mind every single time, ugh.

Anyway, at least I could meet up my friends back at home. I'm looking forward for it.

Dec 8, 2013

Half a day

When there are only two papers, it’s easier to decide which you want to read first. You can easily and quickly catch up for the other subject. But if three papers? That’d worry you. You’re reading one subject and you know you have the other two. Like you think you won’t have enough time. The thing is, taking only two papers does not put much pressure. I’m sinking. Thinking that I could survive.

It’s just foolish to sleep twelve hours a day when you are nearing the exam.

Sweetness of examination

One of the worst things that could happen during the exam in the exam Hall is that your mind wanders off to what you are going to do after the exam is over.  Like listing things and smiling to yourself,  and think when the exam is going to be over, praying time to be faster
Like I wanna be done with this shit

Not sure because you have written enough answers or
You just don't know the answers that you think you already given all of what are in your head

Actually it bugs you the fact that your answers are you short that maybe you should have written your answers with big letters and wide spaces
You just couldn't stand the pressure anymore, you want it to end,  the exam to end
And the sound of buttons clicking
The sight of people determinedly writing
Just does not help

Sigh I am going to face this music

Do pray for me