Dec 31, 2012
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 28, 2012
But I know if I back off I’ll forever be haunted by it. I know I’ll miss all the great things that they do. I know how fun it is sometimes. Thus I ain’t letting this go. But I’ll just try to give them pain. I wish to make you regret for choosing me to be amongst you
I'm so stupid why didn’t I try to register under my new ID
maybe that’s the reason why I couldn’t get through because of the old ID
I'm so ignorant ugh
Dec 26, 2012
It's actually pretty fun to be living outside, rent house. Baiduri or Seksyen 7, it's cool. To have that freedom. But all I'm worried about is FOOD. I'm never good with food. Cooking food. Ugh I fail in life.
Dec 22, 2012
"Perhaps I would be one of the top students there.. I hold the responsibility to bring along the other students..." - Apr 6, 2009
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 19, 2012
Geez lord I can't forget how you randomly sang out this part of the song when I mentioned it (or maybe we heard it somewhere and you instantly sang it)
And you knew how much I like this part.
It's just the simplest thing that happened. But it meant so much to me. Such memorable moment.
You were different. You listened to everything I was saying. My stories. My life. The things I randomly tell. You listened and not being bored.
I made those random accents. I got crazy again. It was all spontaneous. How did I even
You have changed a bit. But those butterflies, they were not there. But still, you changed.
Dec 18, 2012
And if in places, wherever it is, unconsciously sniffing this scent, it reminds me of you. With just this scent, it reminds me everything about you and me; every bubbly feeling that you made me feel.
‘Cos I’m falling hard, really hard.
“Mak ingat dah takde budak kecik nak dijaga, ingatkan semuanya dah besar. Ghupenye ada lagi budak keciknye.” - MumHahah mum is so cute. They left me here and went overseas. I had no one to talk to. And I was a mess, really. I still needed my mum. And now they’re back, I shall cherish every moment with them. Moga panjang umur, mak, ayah.
But know this:
Losing your best friend is like losing your life.I really had no one. But I'm just glad you were part of my life.
Dec 17, 2012
'Lets pretend we never met each other so that I'll have the chance to meet you again and feel the pleasure.' - azrjml
Stretch a rubber band, it'll eventually bounce back to the original condition. But if you keep on stretching, it will eventually break.You just have to pull it so far, till it couldn't go further. Be distant from each other, until there's a time, when you most long for that person. But don't let it break.
You just want to fall in love again, and feel again. You want to feel that sparks again. The butterflies that you had. Those feelings. You don't want to feel numb.
Dec 16, 2012
And now we have discovered each other. And holding on. We're holding on.
Takde la rapat sangat. Macam tu je. Kalau special occasion ke apa ke, ada la invite. Nak kata kitorang cerita, pasal our whole life, takdela sangat. Biasa je. We're the normal kind of friendship. Not best. But moderate.
It's okay, it's good.
Good night, darling.
Dec 15, 2012
Dec 14, 2012
Manusia memang tak pernah puas sepenuhnya.
Just have fun and cherish what you have while it lasts. DON'T let it be dull. Make it JOYFUL. Things are how you make it to be.
Dec 8, 2012
Do I bore you? Do I come about so easily? That you needn't to put an effort to see or talk to me?
This is no way an offence. I'm just always insecure with myself. But 'reaally close friends like sisters'. I love that.
Dec 7, 2012
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 25, 2012
Amazingly, that’s how I could see it on you. You are just so beautiful. I think I'm blinded by your beauty.
Nov 24, 2012
It's better if I just stay away from being too close to someone. I don't deserve close friends. They're better off with someone else, whom are more true than me.
I guess, relating to my previous posts, starting over is never an option with them. I should stay away.
And another post, walls up.
That I should not be close to anybody here,
and that I should not let people in.
I should be careful to whom I share with.
I should be careful to whom I open my heart to.
You just can't afford to hurt someone or get hurt again.
You just can't.
It's better if I just get away until the exam comes..
Don't let people have the easy way on you, especially him. Sometimes he needs to figure things out himself.
Nov 22, 2012
What happened between me and her, I don't want it to be happening between us, you and me. Please.
Nov 17, 2012
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 15, 2012
I became close to the person I thought I'd never be. I wanted to tell you, but at the time, it was cold between us. I only had him, and the boys.
The fact that I always hang out with them, I lived the way they do; I forgot my sorrows. I forgot the people who are more important to me (not the boys' fault). Which is you, and my girls.
Nevertheless, with that being said, maybe our being-distant has a reason behind it. There's hikmah in everything that happened. For what I see, for myself, it's the chance to see if he really cares.
Whatever it is, always see things in a positive way.
Try feeling how it is when you got ditched.
Try feeling how it is when you're being ignored.
It'd be like how we used to be when we first tried to get to know each other better. Start fresh? I don't mind. As long as this friendship still goes on. And perhaps better than what it is before.
Nov 14, 2012
Yes, you should tell Allah. He's the first person you should go to. But human nature, we need comforts from other people. It's human nature.
In fact, those who listen, may be the persons who He sends to you, to help you.
I'm so glad to have you always be there, be it online or offline, to listen to my problems. Thanks dear friends.
Nov 13, 2012
When I asked you, "When a friend suddenly keeps quiet, would you go and ask her directly? Like, what happened to her? Did I do something wrong? Would you ask that way?"
That, was actually for some other friend. That feeling to you wasn't that strong. But now, it has gone worst. I hate this.
So you answered, "Well it depends. Maybe she has changed? That she is not how she used to be with you before?"
How deep is that? Indirectly, I think you were referring to me too. And I think you felt as if what I asked you, was for you. I didn't realize I was doing that, till now.
I couldn't ask a thing about this. I couldn't live by my principle: "When something felt wrong, just ask straight away." I couldn't. Because I'm afraid, I'm a coward. Just like how I used to be back then with my previous room-mates. Why am I this way?
I miss you :(
I'm afraid that in the end, I'll tell him off, like how I used to previously. Then I'll regret. I don't want to lose anyone. Not again. Once is enough. I hope this would turn to something better.
But time and again, if he really means it, I might take it positively. Lol.
Nov 12, 2012
But in the end, I'm left alone. Sad. Yes, I am.
But to think back, I can bear with going alone. It's not like I never went home alone. Going to this certain class uses the same route anyway. So why not.
Just be strong. It's okay, dear. It's okay.
Nov 11, 2012
Dear, when you feel like you hate someone of your own religion, remember, that she is your saudara se-Islam. Forgive her/him for what they do. Look at them with the perspective of love.
Yes there are people who are of annoyance, but when you think back, what have they done to you? What wrong did they do? Mostly nothing. It’s just one of the littlest things that annoy you. It doesn't top off your friendship with them.
Dear dear, value your friendship. Put aside this hatred, this loathe. Please don’t let it get to you.
Nov 9, 2012
But. I've devoted to myself that I don't want to go outstations. And you know that. You know.
I've let down two person. Two of my close friends. And it's a big disappointment. Starting from now, I know that we will never be cool to each other again. I'm sorry for being selfish... why am I this way?!?!?!
Oct 29, 2012
Was I too selfish? How did we become to just... friends? We were so close. We did everything together. We helped each other out. We told things. We tried not to have guilty or anger kept inside. We were crazy together. We get crazy together. What went wrong?
Everyday I see you, everyday in the room. And yet we're still so far away from each other. Like strangers.
And what I hate most is the fact that I couldn't get myself to joke around with only you. I'm good with others but when it comes to you, my soul, myself, shuts down, build up a wall, so that you couldn't get to me.
I hate the fact that I do that every time you're near. I don't know what this feeling is. From how I see it, I have become the fake friend who doesn't stay. Was I using you all this time? Is that how you really feel? Am I treating you like a once close friend of mine in school?
Or am I just the person who just couldn't get it together when we're not in the same class and such?
Of all that matter, I think you're almost perfect, that I have this huge envious feeling of you. You are as perfect as Atul is. I wonder, if I ever still be in the same school with Atul... I wonder if I could survive? Because I know, before I left, even till now, I have that envious feeling of her. I know I should not. But I couldn't help it. Atul knows this tho. I try to persuade myself to not feel that way, but I do. I think, if I ever still be the same school with Atul, our friendship would be on the line. I think we would be like how I am with you now.
It sucks, that I don't see how important you are in my life.
It sucks that I don't appreciate you being a part of my life.
Why do I push you away?
It has been months, and I still could not get the answer.
And dear, I really do miss you.
Oct 25, 2012
I like her c:
Oct 14, 2012
It eats you up inside, little by little. Everything you do for that matter is so unwillingly, you just hate it so much.
It's even never bright enough when you thought the person you trust most, betray your faith in him. Why don't you just be truly honest that you are upset? That you don't want me to be awol at times needed?
Just maybe, if the people were to be my family, I would willingly go. This, I never wanted this.
Like this certain 'fact' about those couples who look alike or better, look like siblings, tend to get married, happily ever after.
Even our teacher's kids in tender years of 8 and younger, proclaim that we were siblings. People questioned about us.
With just that, it has been running vividly through my mind. And yet you still never want me the way I do.
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 1, 2012
I thought I was the only one to feel nervous about the open house, to feel nervous that my friends are coming. Turned out that Hannan was feeling the same. Haha.
So it’s normal I guess
Overall, I’m just so touched for today. ‘Coz it’s like satu kampung datang rumah. People enjoyed and it went well. Alhamdulillah.
Aug 31, 2012
Aug 26, 2012
Someone close to you, might get hurt. At least that person thinks he’s close to you, when you’re feeling like shit.
When they see you be that way, they’d be like, “Why the heck would you say that? Don’t you think I’m your friend? Don’t you think you can count on me? Aren’t I not good enough as a friend for you?”
Well, I don’t know. I have felt the feelings from both sides. That’s what I think. But I still think I’m the awkward lonely potato. I just… am hopeless
Yes, I feel belonged to my family. Of course. That’s definite.
But friends. I feel like I’m nothing. Sigh
Aug 24, 2012
Why in the world do I not have the mood to meet people? To meet my friends from hometown (Kuala Lumpur) whom I seldom see? Especially who's gonna study out of town? WHY THOUGH, WHY
I feel like a douche bag. Really. Likewise, I'm so upset that I am not invited to any hang outs here, that I ain't included in a plan. Sucks, no?
No blame put on my buddies, though. You only get what you give. You'll be treated like how you treat other people @ Treat people like how you want to be treated.
In this case, I treat them bad. Never cared to ask if they are free. I just waited. And when asked, I replied as if I don't wanna hang out at all. What seems to be the problem here I wonder.
I think I'll be so full of regret in the near future. About this.
Writing this, I am still lazy to meet anyone. I just want to sit at home and not care about the outside world. Till the class starts again.
Aug 18, 2012
People won't tell twice about their life especially sensitive ones. And it's weird to ask back what a person told you the other day.
It's like you didn't even pay attention to him. It's like you are just using what he has, to your own benefit.
Don't do that. That's rude. And all you wanted actually, was to spend time talking with him.
Aug 16, 2012
What I felt with my dear 5A classmates, I feel that again, with my dear batchmates. Last night. Last night proves it all.
When we recited a Jamaah prayer, I felt the bond between us. The bond is the strongest when it is for Allah. It always has been, when it is for Allah. It's like we're bringing each other to a better place, a better level, to be better persons, because of Allah. Lillahi Ta'ala.
Not bragging, but I am most proud with my friends. Such noble hearts deserve good friends. Who they are outside between us differs a lot when it comes to facing Allah. Of course, right? Put aside all those annoying teases, when it comes to salaah. Everyone has good hearts. No doubt that we connected through Allah. Allah eases every pain.
Having them along, reminding about Islam, especially prayers...you are just so lucky to have them. Some people drift away from the right path. But fate brings us together closer to Allah. Wherever we go, we always think of salaah. Never that we intentionally forget about it, for instance by not mentioning it to each other.
I understand how Atul feels about her UM friends. When she only feels it once, I had it twice. Sejuk hati bila ada kawan lelaki dan perempuan sebaik ini. Yang lelaki lagilah, dipandang tinggi bila Allah diutamakan. Just because it is hard to find guys like these nowadays.
They may be different from what they appear last night. They may be different if it were to be at other places. But when we are together, that was how it is. Good hearts, showed through salaah. Because there is potential.
How I am so grateful to have them in my life. Once again I feel belonged and not a stranger with no friends. Wherever you are in SA, you could ask for them, fgs a big circle of GOOD friends. When you are in need, you could ask for help. Always. At least that's what I think.
The fact that Puan Roszana is present in our life, brings more light to this friendship. It's like Abi to 5 Amanah. That's how Puan is, to us. And here I thought I'd never feel that again...
You know what we should do? Spend more time together. Do more activities together. Like how my brother's 'Weekenders Club' does. Be'es said that it's good. Because after you graduate and start working, it's hard to meet up. People with different life, place... we're just in separate ways already.
Perhaps I'm getting too emotional about this. But don't you agree? Don't you feel it? We can work it out, in between the class schedule. No force or whatsoever. But we try to make something.
I am so touched by this bond between us. If feels good. It feels right. Put aside all the hatred, all the grudges between us. Because I value our friendship that much, that those petty silly things should not be dragged till it ruins the bond. When you see it the other side, positively, you'll see there's more happiness than just darkness.
When you put away the black ones, you'll see... girlfriends or boyfriends.. they give you joy, even by different ways. Whenever you feel contented, that's the happiness you feel.
In another couple of years, insyaAllah, we would still be together, united as how we are now, and not separated by bad things, or bored of each other. No, insyaAllah.
Friends do get bored of each other tho. I mean, you see them everyday, and go everywhere together. But then, we should not feel so tied up to this. Just relax, be with anyone, but in heart, we know who we are.
InsyaAllah, with a good intention, brings good unity.
But you know what's great having them? We are from the same place. During holidays, we are at the almost same region (at least, before we marry someone and settle down). That, if in the same time of holiday, it'd be easy for us to hang out and meet up.
This rare occasion of meeting up - it's a good thing. It's like, when we finally got to meet up, we'd use the best out of it. We appreciate the meeting. As though we'll never see each other for a long time, as though the next meet up is when we have kids.
So. If not in Ramadhan, in raya we'll meet then. After all, it's the last 10 days of Ramadhan. I don't wanna ruin it for anybody even for myself. Perhaps we should focus more with akhirah right now, rather than dunya. InsyaAllah this sacrifice will bring to good things.
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 13, 2012
And in the end, you just let it be..
Immortalize moments by any way possible, writing, taking photos, because all the moments worth every second you lived.
Like, how a person staring at you. How you reacted to someone’s words. Someone’s expressions. Someone’s comments.
Ustaz Ghafar once told us,
“Tulis la semua benda yang terjadi dalam hidup. Ingat tu memang ingat. Tapi takdelah ingat macam kita mula mula ingat. Tulis la untuk cerita kehidupan..”
You know, every single smallest tiniest the most irrelevant detail, those things, immortalize them. It's your choice.
Mar 25, 2012
- Bulb photography
- High speed capturing images
- Some skills with the speed light