Reading

Reading the Night Angel is as though watching it in live, watching the characters grow, living in their time, like it really is happening as you read. You could feel their fear, their sorrow, their anger, strength, love, passion and all the feelings in the world.

Sometimes when you're not reading it, you could picture any event from it. You could relive it in your own world, sink into your own thoughts.

Sometimes when you suddenly remembered any particular event in it, you'd wonder where the vision come from. It is the very vision that you've imagined as you were reading the novel.

The feeling of wanting to step into that world again is intriguing. It's like an interesting world that you've created yourself. It's powerful. Like you want to be in it forever. That's how people could not stop reading.

The fact is, those are just imaginations; a world full of magical and fairytale which could not possibly happen in the real world.

Actually, I'm having the time of my life.

Another time is almost impossible

I skipped an activity sponsored by the college which I could get a certificate and a coupon. Instead, I went out with them and went ice skating! Thanks for my lack of exercise, I couldn't skate for hours. So 2 hours was enough for me even though the price was high. But the price was worth it. (I'm in money dilemma mind you).

I love you guys. Parting with you guys was hard. After this, it's almost difficult to meet up again. But I think that is what makes our bond stronger, huh? Like, only meet up once in months. Well, we don't know what life is before us. Just cherish every second of our lives :)

Lovely roommates

Not in the picture, Farah and Hanis.

I think it's really hard to find roommates like them. And we're like always together in any activity. Heck, mestila. People always start to be close specially from roommates, right? It's just, they're really different from my previous roommates. I couldn't ask for more.

I just hope they would want to be my roommates for the other semesters, just like I do :)

Building a new life

...in a new state. (With Hajar here, my new friend and classmate :) )

I've been to Kuantan and now, Shah Alam. Merantau woo! Shah Alam je pun.

Basically, I got a MARA scholarship for CAT-ACCA fast track programme in UiTM. Interesting, but you gotta be able to keep up. Like most of any other students, I'm really nervous about T5. But like hajah said, you gotta focus on your strength and always think positive. How in the world did I get the scholarship if they didn't see my potential. So actually everyone has their own potential. You just gotta believe it. I can do this, insyaAllah.

The best thing is here, I get to know how to travel around here by bus. It would make me easier to go about.

Roommates are cool. I think it's hard to have roommates like them.

Classmates, although soooo eerily quite on the first week, we've managed to mingle around. And our class rep is interestingly outspoken.

The room I got is awesomeness. I just love it here. And I shouldn't be thinking about going home that much. I mean, life in university is once in a life time, too! Gotta keep that in mind.

Life is

I realised that I should not be afraid of entering early. 10th of January would just be another ordinary day. And days, we should live meaningfully. Not mourning about it.

I remembered, telling my bestie in Kuantan, that I would never want to live my days there, mourning about my suffocation. That if I ever get to that point where I talk about it, I wanted her to change to subject abruptly.

I was afraid I would mourn about it throughout the year. For I fear that in the future, when I look back on 2010, I would regret it my whole life, like, 'Why the heck did I even care to think about him? It was useless.' It would mean I have wasted my time there.

Nonetheless, it was a suffering that I had to bear. I needed distraction. Assignments kept me packed. Thankfully I succeeded in avoiding mourning about it.

So when I look back on 2010, I am highly grateful for everything that has happened. I rocked the world I lived in. I lived it just the way I wanted it to be. Because 'you are who you think you are'.

Plainly, life is more than just... him.

Cook Book #3

*edited

I name it, Pizza. My mother's very own recipe. Maybe. It's highly luscious.

Things you need:

• A loaf of bread (two for a pizza) - I use Gardenia.
  
• Tomato puree
• Planta/Dorina - any margarine
• Cheese - macam slice of cheese tu.
  
• Mixed vegetables / capcicum
  
• Sausage
• Oven
• Pizza & Pasta seasoning

Let's get it started.

1. Ambil dua roti. Untuk setiap roti, hanya one side of it yang kita sapu dorina. Repeat untuk roti-roti yang lain.
2. Lekatkan belah yang disapu dorina dengan menekan tengah tengah roti tu, jangan kacau tepi dia. Proses menekan ni boleh guna jari atau sudu. Tekan untuk bahagian atas je, untuk tabur ingredients dia.
3. Sapu 1 sudu kecil pati tomato atas bahagian tadi tu. Ratakan sampai penuh bahagian atas tu.
4. Cut the sausage into half. And potong slice by slice. The half of sausage is for one pizza.
5. Arrange slices of sausage on the bread.
6. Tabur mixed vegetables on the bread. Bagi dia equally distributed la atas roti tu.
7. Cheese tu cut into half jugak. Nak potong tu jangan bukak plastic dia kat bawah. Nanti susah pulak kalau cheese melekat atas cutting board.
8. The half slice of the cheese tu untuk satu pizza. Then cut it to stripes of cheese.
9. Arrange the stripes on the pizza.

10. Put them in oven for 10 minutes.
11. Kalau dah nampak cheese tu melt, and lawa, switch off oven.
12. Sprinkle some pizza & pasta seasoning on the pizzas.
    
13. Makan!

Well, I forgot to take a picture of it! And some of the items too. Maybe tomorrow I'll show you how they look like.

Oh, please don't mind the mixed language.

I did it with my Atul and Ainaa. They thought capcicum was better than mixed vege, which is so true. They taste better.

Before

After
You can feel the cheese melt in your mouth. So delicious.

Geez, I smell like a pizza.

Bball!

Missing it badly. And that guy too. Haha.

Man, I miss playing it with my mates in Kuantan! It's just so fun, you just shoot some hoops. Sometimes we had random matches almost every evening with a group of random people among our batch. Fun and stress-releasing. Oh, the old days.

Early registration

Around 3pm, I got a call from MARA and they told me the good news - I got the scholarship! Alhamdulillah. But actually, the coward part of me is scared to go. She even thought of chickening out from this.

What I actually afraid of?

• I despise the fact that I have to attend the class early, earlier than my friends, while they are having such leisure time at home.
• I'm scared to live in a new enviroment. Geez, that sounds like a total spoiled brat. You're turning 18 in two months, Erin! Grow up! So I had a vision that shows me I am crying when my parents are going to leave me. What an embarrassment. I just don't like to start over. New friends, new roommates, new subjects, etc.
• Competitions and struggling for success. I never liked it. I even thought, just drop it all, the educations, and get myself a husband. Do the chores, look out for the kids, just stay at home waiting for your hubby to come home. And I would tell my kids, 'Oh, mummy met your dad whom I love so much and wanted to live near him, so I decided to stop. Love can be so powerful, honey.'
  
• To wake up early in the morning, going to classes. Geez.
• Having no friends. I think I'm the kind of person who goes about alone, not socializing with people. A person like me is hard to have a friend. Friends like in my previous schools, would I ever meet persons like them? Of course not, erin. People are different. It's just somehow difficult for me to blend in. Perhaps I don't need to be. Just be myself!
  

The mom part, I know its consequences. It's also challenging. Perhaps way challenging than further my studies. If I turn it down, I would lose the once in a lifetime oppurtunity of MARA's scholarship. I would be blacklisted from getting it, even for SPM. So, if I get shuck results for SPM, my future? Poof. Gone. SPM results has been crawling in me after every single paper. Every day was agony.

What do I want, actually? I always wonder on that. Do I really want to be around accounting thingy? Because, going to this university sure leads me to that area.

Is there any other things in my mind that I want to be? None. Except being a mom *cough*. Okay. Seriously, I really don't like other subjects other than around accountancy. (That's the mannered way to say I HATE THEM).

If only accountancy that runs vividly in my mind, why doubt? Oh, the struggles. You just want to give up everything, and be a mom. What? That's so chicken, man!

The thing is, I have never loved other subjects in a way that I love accountancy. Yet, when sitting for the account paper, I thought, Am I kidding myself? I can't even do this!

Maybe all of this put down to.... homesick. Being the last daughter of my parents, the homesick is stronger. I could imagine myself crying there. Wth.

On a greener side, I would get bachelor's degree (I think) in just short time. That's just amazing. When I am about to end my bachelor's degree , my friends are still with it. When I end bachelor's degree early, I could marry early! Okay, what's up with me and marriage? Am I so desperate? Or do I just want to end my studies? No way. I want to be pregnant and at the same time studying. MATHS. Then my kids will be genius. HAHA. Whatever, that's beyond me.

Geez, my pessimism is vastly longer than my optimism.

You make me smile

The great moments when,
you texted me almost every night just to say good luck and good night;
you topup-ed just because you wanted to text me;
you stared at me from far, and later called out my name;
I saw you preparing a stool for me to sit. How could I not resist?;
you praised me wearing the robe;
you came to me randomly, just to ask a question;
you just stopped playing BB for a while just to talk to me;
we were walking together, having a chat, after the night prep.
So on and so forth. It's unlistable.
And all of 'em happened during the SPM examination. Wicked.

Whatever you did, you just made me smile. Even when I was in the exam hall, writing down the answers. So incredible. See how powerful your affect was to me?