#28 Baju kurung duyung

Baju kurung duyung.

There was a hit, a famous female streamer posted a photo wearing baju kurung duyung in front of ayat Quran. And some did not even say it's about the ayat Quran, but because of her outfit.

It shows too much, like everything. What do you expect, from a Baju kurung duyung?

So I just made du'a for her. All the teguran is right. They don't bash, they just tegur. And the fact that it's public, so it needed to be a public but soft teguran, I guess.

Talking bout Baju kurung duyung.

First.
How to pose wearing Baju kurung duyung, is that you bend your knees to the front so it shows the beauty of the skirt.

Second.
The kurung is made that way. To have a shape. To follow your body shape. So... unless it's REALLY lose, then it's kinda not okay to wear it haha.

#27

It's human nature to want to feel liked. People liked me when I was in MRSM, especially that I inspired girls and juniors. Teachers liked me too.

I don't know what happened in University, but now, while I'm working, so many girls adore me, either in silent or expressed. 

If I could not dakwah in terms of telling seerah or Quran verses and what nots, what I can do is show them good behaviour, insyaaAllah.

I once read, that "the best among them is that person who shows the best behaviour towards other people".

I hope to continue to inspire people in that sense, not only to people who know me in streaming, but also, those who personally know me.

I pray Allah gives me strength to continue this journey and grow, and improve in whatever needed. Life is a constant learning process though.

I pray that everyday, I have that strength, and be positive, and show the good things to people. I don't want people to feel negativity when they watch my stream. InsyaaAllah.

#26

Today I'm so emotional. It's not that I have lost someone. It's that I have everything but a sudden flood of emotion came rushing in. That I feel I've done things but it's not enough.

Whatever it is, Oh Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, please protect me from riak and hasad dengki <3 

#25

It’s a privilege to get to know someone, anyone. masyaAllah even a viewer whom I just read the comments and stalk the surface of his profile. And maybe some beneficial dua in the comments hence it’s a privilege. 

So we were talking bout Hnm. The fact that she wanted use that privilege against us. Like. We did nothing wrong to her nauzubillah. But the last time she came into our stream was when she wanted to expose us. Our exclusivity. Then she unfriended me and requested for friend again. Like... really hanim. Terkilan. I was sincere being friend with you. I forgive you already but I realise I need to stay away from you and just make dua for you if you cross my mind. 

It’s a privilege to get to know her too alhamdulillah. You learn something from everyone. Even if you don’t see the benefit from it but they exist in your life for a reason even if it’s a tiniest speck of dust. Allah is showing you something. 

#24

Hi readers. I wonder who you are and if you are actually interested in my daily updates here.

Lowkey wanna know who but at the same time I don't wanna know because it defeats the beauty of the unknown. Haha

Anyway.

Currently there is an ML player streaming now. People keep talking about Erin KARRA in the comment section. MasyaaAllah all the good words they use to describe me. I am in awe and grateful. Subhanallah. I didn't want to talk about what people say about me, but this just crossed my mind. Good words from people are like dua's. Even though they are describing you. I feel that.

I actually wanna talk about the fact that the streamer is watching my stream.... on how I react on spending my diamonds for a skin in the game hahah

HOW FRIKIN CRINGEY TO SEE MYSELF THERE ON OTHERS' STREAM ASHDJKLHASJDKHASKLD

He's reacting to my video so I'm like reaaaaaally shy right now. No it's not shy... in Malay it would be like malu, segan gila. I'm not sure how to say that in English. Blush? LOL Nah.

So my husband is watching it. I'll just watch later.

It's not cringey if I watch myself, alone, not with others. But this.... hahahahahaha why why why

#hideundertherock

Imma pretend I'm busy working and I missed the stream reaction.

#23

Hello reader.

I just thought I had to vent this out.

It's a really bad thing what I have felt. I always pray Allah jauhkan dari hasad dengki and the likes.

I don't know why it is so hard for me to look at people's achievement and straight away be happy for them.

But every time I feel that way, the negative way, I am always well aware of that, hence I will always istighfar and recite du'a for them instead.

I hope that is sufficient. I always try to cleanse myself. But those negative thoughts, always happen. Every time. To anyone, except my family, my siblings and cousins. To anyone else, even my friends, it's hard. 

But then I always pray the best for them. I always pray for my soul too. 

May Allah ease <3

Edit:

Oh hey, I googled about this... and found this article helpful to me ^^

Have hope in God Almighty Who has promised that He will guide those who struggle and help them through His invisible grace and increase their capacities. (Imam Al-Khomeini, Forty Hadith, chapter 5 ‘Hasad’)

Those "cure" for the disease. I always do it though. I mean it's not like I'm actually saying bad things, thought of negative things. I always think they deserve it, masyaaAllah, that it's their way, it's good for them, that I can't compare my shoes with theirs.

I hope that my always-being-aware of this and istighfar, and the struggle are sufficient. Though I will always try to keep it consistent or do more insyaaAllah.

#22

You know what. Come to think of it. It's already 20th of Ramadhan. And.... I missed too much of the menus I think I can't keep track of them already lol

Well alhamdulillah today I feel better during live. I was lost yesterday but alhamdulillah after discussing with my partner about our livestream, I feel better and more confident. I jot down the things that we have been talking about. So that those ideas would not just be thoughts in the clouds. As it would all be planned out and we can see what result that we want.

It's about me engaging with viewers tho, not much of my gameplay which is just average xD

I know there are so much space for improvement but I am okay with today. I will be better tomorrow insyaaAllah.

#21

May I’m the one who should vanish. Not you. I’m worthless. 

#20

He's feeling very down but could not shed any tear. Feels like he has lost everything. Feels like He wants to die or vanish.

I've been there. 

So now I understand his position when I was the one feeling down. 

Hence, now, I just need to be strong for both of us.

May Allah ease.

#19

I posted a photo of me and mom. With the intention of the du'a and also to appreciate mothers out there and remind people of our mothers.

I feel a bit insecure exposing my mother. Because she herself does not put photos of her on Facebook.

Well I just pray everything is okay. May Allah ease.

#18

What a lovely day

Nuzul Quran

A Sunday 

A Mother’s Day 

masyaAllah 

For everything that I don’t tell you anymore... since after MRSM... I wish I could. I wish we could be best friends. I wish I just tell you everything. My worries and sadness. 

Why don’t I? Maybe because of my ego. 

I miss you mom. Happy Mother’s Day. 

#17

Well we just discovered that his motorbike is not at the place he parked it. I don’t want to say it. But I think we know what happened to the bike. 

Suddenly everything doesn’t feel good. 

Oh Allah, please give us strength to overcome this loss. 

Please make us grateful slaves. 

Please guide us if there is anything we can do to find the bike :( 

Maybe this is happening because of me. Because I’m not grateful. Not because of him, but me. 

Our appetite is lost. Idk what to feel anymore. Tonight should be streaming together. But I damn well know both of us don’t have that mood. It will be forced. And he’s going to be in a really bad mood. That I can’t do any mistakes. That I need to remember to always ask him nicely and not raise my voice. 

I’m actually waiting for him to come back. We still don’t have food on our table except those dates. 

I think I’m the punca this happened. I’m so forgetful :( 

#16

HAHA I forgot to update many days already. I'll... try to catch up.

But today, right now, I wanna talk about something else.

I always feel that I'm not good enough. That I can't be that average good ML player. I'm good in a team. But I'm not good as individual.

There are so many heroes to learn. And I'm lost. Time is of the essence. I couldn't learn so fast because of the time constraint.

I know Ha hates that I always feel bad about myself. Stopping altogether to talk to me. Like giving up on me already. Like you've poured everything, every advise that you have. Till you feel like you have nothing else. And just left me be, left me feeling sorry for myself...

But I'm just lost. I don't know where to start :(