I don't care. I want to feel guilty for buying things I don't need. Because our friends out there are in need. And it's always better to help them first.

5 Amanah

We were the most controversional students that whatever we did, people kind of hated us. Well actually not everyone, it's those big groups who got the veto power, yakno?

That's what made us close with each other.

Oh I am tormenting myself with all these bitter sweet memories. Four years has passed (':

Lighten up your feet

Practice makes perfect
I've been learning to perfect my dance skills on certain moves (mostly I think hiphop or pop genre). They are actually easy. I could easily learn them. But to get it sharp on the note or beat, it's pretty hard. I've always been lacking that. You'd see a person whom tak cukup makan menari. I may not even pass the zapin or joget moves. Lol

Downgrade.

One thing for sure... I may not mind being at the bench for the whole game
I may not mind that they hate me for skipping training sessions
I may not mind I would not be liked by them
I know for a fact that they would, even not showing it, get mad at me because I know I owe them my time for training
I know for a fact that they would or might have downgraded me for being ignorant and selfish

Perhaps I might have also done this to the Chronicles crew
Perhaps also that I might have done this since day one, to my batchmates whom I needed to work with with some events

It's a lonely way to live
Even the closest person around hates me for it
I chose to be ignorant. But seriously? It is not a bliss.

I could give you these possible situations.
I could have been a better person if I were to still live in that area, in a rented house.
I could have been better if I am willing enough to ask my friends if I could stay a night or two
But no. I didn't. I might have purposely ignored everything and run away from my responsibility.
Responsibility! If you are ignorant of people, maybe that's okay. But responsibility? I do not think it's a wise thing to do.

Ah yes I could reason and justify my situations but only in terms of IQ
I think my EQ is not as high as what my high school teacher proclaimed
I am failing miserably... And I wonder what happens to my working life
Change is inevitable. But what kind of change will I be?

Judgmental psychologically

We’re taught to look like other people. Like you should lose this much weight right after you have a baby. That person is that size. If you’re one of those people, you feel like, I’m letting everyone down. It can’t be that true. I think it’s really hard for people to have the confidence to focus on themselves without being somewhat judgmental psychologically.

- Brook Shields 

My beloved lecturer

I put my head on the table while reading the question he asked us to do. Obviously he could see that, so he said, 'I hope you all put some more interest, get excited for this last question before going back. Come on la.'

Dead in the water

You are all the jealous feelings that exist.
I know this, because I feel the same way.
Not felt, but feel.
But in terms of perspective, it's different for me.
Because I was the reason of all that.
I am to be blamed

Go on and tell yourself that you're not jealous of what happened. 'Cause just by denying, it really proves you actually are.

Rendevous

What a coincidence! Bumped into Farah Izzati and my ex-senior Yaakub at Alamanda shopping mall. My ex-schoolmates. I don't know why, something inside me feels good to see familiar faces. And I didn't seem to ignore them when I see them.

Have A Style

Lol :p

Mum being cute #1

'Mak dah cuba pakai shawl... Tapi tak jadi, dah ghope hantu bungkuih.'
Well someone needs an intensive tutorial

Kerja #2

Bila dalam kesuntukan wang… barulah terasa ruginya tak kerja setaraf dengan qualification yang ada. I mean, it could be one way to find rezeki. But you were planning to waste it. Rugi je belajar susah susah. Tapi. Hmmmmmmmm

Kerja

Tapi kalau kerja goyang kaki makan gaji, tak best jugak. Bosan hidup. Otak tak berkembang. Tak buat benda berfaedah pun.

Mungkin lebih baik buat kerja susah dapat sikit daripada kerja sikit dapat banyak. Mungkin

Becoming a lady #1

I realize that I come to slowly loving makeups, lipstick, eyebrows colouring (eyeliner was all time fav)... And eager to find a matching handbag, plus admiring other women's pretty handbags and at the same time planting wishes to buy one. I even bought boot platform heels for I don't know, special occasions? Like wow. I'm becoming a lady.

And I'm starting to appreciate my face without specs, after realizing my friend is more handsome without one, and my junior is really pretty not wearing glasses.

I'll definitely save for a lasix eye surgery.

B's haircut

New haircut
Really short
But really stylish
Like
He's following the trend
But I really wonder how he looks like
More handsome I guess

The fault in our stars

I cannot get over the sadness. Why didn't I cry while reading the book, though? Every sadness and happiness seemed so real in the movie.

It reflects so much in my life. The fear of losing is so overwhelming. The bittersweet soundtracks fuel every emotion.

Darn I need a distraction

Grey skies

I've let myself to be dull recently, or let myself think I am. It's disappointing. Everything was taken for granted.

Shoes galore

Scroll..scroll...*spotted photo of platform with damn high heels*

"OMG so pretty!"

Look again... "Uhh reti ke pakai heels tinggi camni? *Imagine the penguin walk* Hmmphhh o k a y..."

Haih, can I just buy all the shoes that I like on this website hasdjkfl Everything is below 100 ringgit

Bulan Ramadhan

Salam. Tadi lepas program Ustaz Don Danial, ada trailer yang lucu dan sangat menarik. Sampai sekarang tak boleh nak lupa.

'Orang muda tanya Rasulullah SAW, kalau nak cium dahi isteri pada siang hari dalam bulan Ramadhan, boleh ke?' Baginda jawab, tidak.

'Orang tua tanya baginda, kalau nak cium dahi isteri pada siang hari dalam bulan Ramadhan, boleh ke?' Baginda jawab, ciumlah.

Menurut ustaz, jawapan berlainan adalah sebab kalau orang tua ni... temperature dia dah tak spark dah.. Kalau orang muda ni, bahaya... Heheh

Benda camni senang la pulak nak ingat kan. Haha

Corner #2

Till then I know, life won't be the same again.

Transform

It’s amazing to see someone you have a crush on transform to a ridiculously attractive guy. And the fact that he is someone you would spend the rest of your life with
Funny thing is, I always love to envision the guys in my batch being the better appearance they could be. Because each person has their potential. They just need some driver to transform them.

Blue ink

That feeling. The feeling of not wanting to see someone anymore, or talk or hear the voice of that particular someone. That after the incident, you just hope that s/he is gone, or you live in a place elsewhere. Just so you wouldn't have to see him/her anymore. Just so you don't feel the pain again. Just so you could be free, not pretending, and be you, yourself.

Talent

I know my skills are not that great. I'm not creative anyway. I only have the know-how but not the creativity. Thus that does not make that competent with other potential students. I knew this since the juniors published something for themselves. And I had the inkling that the batch would definitely be actively involved in the student rep body. They are really good anyway, really creative and modern. And guess what? Those creative people are boys, not girls. I've always asked my guy friends for advice when I was making some posters or such anyway. Including my creative SABian best mates. Some boys you can really trust their taste.

Seeing their posters up is kind of a slap on my face, but whatever. I had my moments.

Broken retainer

500myr in Desa Pandan, 600myr in Shah Alam, but thankfully we found only 200myr in Kg Pandan (a clinic where I used to go when I was little) for a retainer for upper teeth.

Going back and fourth during the weekdays is not something pleasant. It's tiring. With the classes of the next days and all. It was a hard decision of when to make the retainer and when to take the retainer. But the longer I wait, the worst will happen to my new set of teeth, and bye bye 6k.

So I thought... Biarlah penat diri ni, janji tak belanja duit berlebihan. I am still really surprised of the way cheaper price it offered, especially with really good quality than the expensive ones.

Cerita

Banyak. Banyak untuk dicerita.
Tapi masa. Kita kesuntukan masa.

Facial mask

Wearing facial mask the second time, alone. And this is the time where giraffe cekak from Sunway Form 3J trip come in handy. It just makes me mesmerize the first time I wore it with my girls, and those laughs.

Comments and skills

Dari dulu masa kat MRSM, sampaila sekarang, hati mudah terusik bila dengar kritikan orang pasal karya diri ini. To me, I think their critics are helpful, but I couldn't help to feel unpleased at first. Because you know, you have tried and did your best, and in the end, people comment on your work, of what it lacks.

But I understand, the comments can help me improve my skills and such. Still, it seems like my skills have not improved much... coz til now, I keep on receiving those deceiving comments. Le sigh.

Berjaya

Kalau dah berjaya sangat pun, boleh jadi satu ujian dari Allah. Ikhlaskan hati. Buang sifat riak. Istighfar.

Fantasy isn't meant to be real

Everyone was hating on me, ignoring me, leaving me out from the projects; not telling me the changes they made because I was away. I mean at least just inform me something! Even the closest person in the group was reluctant to tell me what was going on.

And my crush totally left me out. I'M UPSET

Jalan jalan

Mak: Ayah ajak pergi Terengganu, tapi tak tahu bila
Me: Haaa jom la!!! :D
Mak: Mak nak pergi Masjid Kristal tu
Epi: *tiba tiba menyibuk* Hah? Dah nak pergi Terengganu??
Kak Ya: Eh taaakk
Mak: Eish itu biar laki laki yang uruskan

lol k

Opposite

I really love men's fashion. But I can't wear them coz if I were to, it wouldn't look as cool as when the guys wear them -~-

It's hard to stop talking to you

That old song

So long, farewell, to you
Good night, sleep tight
Until we meet again

Trait

I've never been so clueless. The one thing he hated is all I've been living with almost my entire life. It is in the blood. Or I have let it be one of me. This time there are no words of comfort; no doings for proof. This thing, it seems unfixable, in the long run