#40

 The other day in office I finally got to see a new post uploaded by my friend. It's true what AJ said, people look fine on the surface, but trust me, we are all messed up inside. 

So I told about her during my live stream on last Tuesday. I didn't know it hit me bad. Sebak. Haha. Coz I understand what she's feeling and that I've been there, and also it's kinda what I do feel on day-to-day basis but I just put it away.

See, alhamdulillah that I can put it away, distract myself. But for some people, it's hard. And I just said, it all goes back to Allah. Remember Him, and He will remember us. That's what He has promised. That's what she has done.

Allah is so close to us, we just need to remember Him. 

It's an everyday struggle. Heck, it might be every one or two hours struggle. We need to always remind ourselves. 

So, alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

#39

Rasa suka itu memang fitrah, kerana menyedari perasaan seumpama itu suatu fitrah maka seseorang insan itu tidak perlu terlalu memberatkannya. Ada rasa namun tidaklah disusuli usaha (sebab belum bersedia).Malah dibiarkan rasa itu singgah dan berlalu seperti itu sahaja, tidak melekat di jiwa. Hati pun lega! ^^

- source 

#38

 
Serious rasa nak uninstall. Hahah. Dah tak reti nak main pape hero dah. Malas nak cakap camni kat Ha sebab nanti dia cakap malas la nak cakap ngan awak, suka hati awak lah. Dah cakap banyak kali. Then there's that face again. That attitude again.

See? No one will help you unless you help yourself. No one will mend your own heart except yourself. No one, even the person you think you're closest with will help you, when you feel helpless. When you feel like you want to give up and everything, no one will say, don't stop, you can do this. They will just let you be until you get your shit together, on your own. That's the everyday struggle that you need to go through. You just don't have anyone except yourself and to tell Him and just feel it on your own. In the end, it's yourself yang kena pujuk diri.

#37

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August 5, 2020, 10:37am

Allahuakbar. 

I wasn't doing zikr or whatever. I just called Dad, then Be'es then texted Ha. I wanted to call towing but then subhanallah, there was a guy who noticed the flat tyre. I was hesitant but then, it's better that the tyre is changed and I drive the car myself to nearby bengkel. 

So I got out of the car and asked them for help. Three guys thank youuuuuuuuu so much may Allah reward you for your kindness. Jazakallahu khairan katheera. 

I'm so not good in paying people for their good deeds so I couldn't think of giving money just a really huge thank you and a huge smile which was hidden behind the mask. And du'a from me insyaaAllah. May Allah reward them. Allah knows who, Allah knows best.

I am not sure of what to take on from this incident. But alhamdulillah Allah has eased my affair regarding the car. I don't have to wait for towing car, and I got to office early. 

I have planned to arrive earlier but maybe no one was around in the office, so the incident happened. And Allah wants the guys to do good. Allah wants me to seek him. Allah wants me to pray for them. Subhanallah. 

Alhamdulillah I did not get into an accident coz really, it could be A HUGGGEEE accident because I was frikin speeding with a tayar bocor and the car on my left saw my car. He must have been freakin out. I was speeding plus there was like a round about u-turn. It felt weird when after the bumper kat exit Kg Puah tu. Bunyi pelik. I think I noticed the weird sound when I entered the 'highway'. But I insisted on potong kereta yang lagi power hahahaha. Teruk naw. Unke must be angry if he knows this.

To add to the story, I woke up early today at 4:30am to stream early. I was like, I felt something was missing out. Solat. Rasa cam nak solat. I was like... solat taubat is too long. It can be shortened tapi cam rasa tak best coz it would be rushed. So solat tahajjud je lah. I do not know the specific things but I just niat solat tahajjud 2 rakaat kerana Allah Ta'ala. Then before stream, I renewed my intentions for my work. And my work here as an accountant. Because after listening to AA's woman up podcast titled Striving Not Surviving, it's so refreshing and makes me bersemangat to do things. Including this office work ^^

And I ada doa dalam hati, Ya Allah, please guide me everyday in me making decisions on day to day basis. Terdetik dalam hati. Sebab itu la doa yang disarankan dalam AA Plus so alhamdulillah it has benefited me insyaaAllah will continue to do so.