I guess I'll never learn how to cope myself with this constant stress and pressure and burden and such huge responsibilities with huge burden that sometimes I have to carry it by myself that it's all in my head like it's gonna burst
I get it. Hardships, then comes the good part where all your hard work comes to a good outcome. It's the satisfaction. But somehow I'm not satisfied at all. There's nothing to be satisfied until I get back what I always wanted. To not be a part of this shit.
Think all of the good stuff, the good you do to people. But I just don't want it.