Jan 31, 2013


If this all wouldn't happen... if this all go to waste upon a day... then know that you're breaking me apart. All the years that I'd spend to wait for you... oh Allah... cure this soul

If it's good for me, then make it easy for me.
If it's bad for me, then, please, make it hard for me.


Dah takde Husna nak tolong balutkan buku
Dah takde Hannan nak geng bangun tidur
Dah takde Durrah nak tolong basuhkan pinggan (haha)
Dah takde Yana nak ajar makan dalam bungkusan mee
Dah takde Echa nak lawan annoying
Bukan tu je. Banyak lagi sebenarnya. Satu tahun pun banyak benda terjadi. Mestilah kan haha
Tetiba emosi (:

Jan 29, 2013

Money and Frustrations

Money can cause frustrations, deep frustrations. So many things to pay. So many things to buy. It all goes down to how you manage your money.

Jan 25, 2013

Seeing the obvious

I worry your position. You might get hurt. Why do you have to believe in a guy such as him? It's so obvious the likes of him is hazardous for your heart.
And since you already know the slight, more to the utter truth about his love life, why are you still putting hopes?

Jan 24, 2013


I don't want people to know. I want to stay as low as possible. As invisible as possible. Let people not know my existence.

Jan 20, 2013

Partner in job

When I worry too much on our tasks, my partner is always there to say that it's okay. That I need to chill down a bit because what we got, are sometimes so irrelevant to the situation. And that's why you work in two.

Jan 15, 2013


I'd rather fall than be caught by hand and at the back, from falling. I'd just rather fall.


I wonder... am I a huge bother to them? To always be around? To always want to tag along? That they think it is inappropriate? Who am I to them?

And why do I care and worry so much on who I am to them?


It disturbs me how they are more important to you than us. That you express your fondness on them, but only once in many blue moon on us. Hardly that we know, you think about us. Maybe because the photos are not many to choose. But maybe because the love is not huge enough to be let out.

And pardon me. This is the envy writing.

Jan 12, 2013

More to bring

New solid wardrobe, carpets, new shoes, new bag, new mattress, new pillowcase, new bed sheet. Ahah, just to satisfy the needs.


She knows her root. She got stronger when both of us left. We still mean the world to her. The people she's now with? That shows how strong she is to move on with life. You just can't blame her if she expresses that love more to other people and not us. We just have our different ways.


Do you know how I went to be the crazy girl? It was with you. You taught me that. To be myself. But now...
Where is the extremist me that I know? Where is that me who lifts up her cloth up to her face when she is embarrassed? Where is the me who does the 2 1/2 fingers thingy? Where is everything I was? Where has she gone?

Is it wrong?

Is it wrong to feel like you're not trying hard? Is it wrong to feel so, because you know I'll wait for you? Because this flattering feeling I feel, makes us grow apart

Jan 11, 2013

Twins of Faith 2012

By various persons.

**This is what I learnt and got the chance to jot down. It may not be in  sequence. Do correct me if I'm wrong. All the bad is from me, and all the good comes from Him. 

  • Don't be happy that you have no hardships. But be worried that you're not tested. This EASY life IS a test.
  • In life you must have Imaan, Ikhlaas, and Correct.
  • Smoking, its harmful to life, like committing suicide You have to know where you're money earned come from. You also have to know how do you spend your money. For instance, you spend your money for the Astro? Satellite TV with various channels? Those are full with haram and waste of time.
  • And also ask yourself, how do you act upon your knowledge? All the knowledge you've learnt?
  • Dunya; it smells like hell, but tastes like paradise.
  • The women, are the princess.
  • Life is worthless without the chance to see Allah. Everything you do, seek the face of Allah.keep reminding yourself of Jannah. It's how you get real sincerity. The love for dunya destroys sincerity. The love for dunya, for example, that you're afraid of what people will talk about you or criticize you. This fear, contradicts sincerity.
  • Nothing should consume your mind but Allah! To be successful, put that moment, the moment where you are in front Allah, and ask yourself what you're going to say to Allah if you do this or that.
  • Ask yourself, 'What is my intention or motivation? Due your action?' It all must be down to ikhlaas.
  • For example, niat for sadakah must be right. Niat for everything you do must be for the sake of Allah. Not riak and such. Hide your good deeds. Quality of your deeds depends on your level of ikhlaas.
  • Look everything in perspective of Islam Have fun in halal way. Have fun in Islam. Fun is in our blood and so is Allah and so is Islam. Start by doing small things. Like joining a conference, be a volunteer.
  • Journey is not always the way we want it to be, it is always with trials. If you do things out of sincerity, Allah will send you people that will keep you going.
  • All of us are created for Jannah. What we have to do is make it back home.

Jan 10, 2013

I was just thinking

If I wait for you longer, my affection is stronger.

Jan 8, 2013


If you're scared, then let us be apart.

Jan 6, 2013


And all she wants is you. Regardless how many times things bounced back. All she could think of is you.


Maybe she will run away if you never showed how much you want her in your life. Maybe you can't blame her if she really did.

Jan 5, 2013


It's a long way to go. But I want you to know this is how I actually feel about everything. So you can see how I don't take you for granted.

Have me

I feel like taking back my words. But really, all I want is for you to trust me, and take me. Tie the knot. Have me.


If at home, I don't mind. As lonely as I'd feel, I had mum and dad. But this. I miss you so much. I want to hear your voice and see your face. I never knew I wanted these.

Jan 4, 2013


So I put away the pain that I want to give. I couldn't give it. Because the joy in me, it got out. It wanted to be free. And you knew, all along, that they do no harm to you, internally. All this while, it's just the jealousy that you felt. Maybe the bond that they have. You harmed yourself with envy. It's not them. But it's you.

Maybe you are the future

You should know that he was the pain. That I think I could not bear it no more. And I'm just waiting for you, now. Just you. Maybe this is it. Maybe you are the future.


I love to hear everything about you. Your pain, your sorrow, your happiness, your joy. The things you do. Coming from you. Everything.


Smoking? In front of your friends? Us? Girls? It's not about you not being hypocrite, that you are not afraid to show your true colour, your true self. It's not about all that. But it's about respect. You should know that the smoke you exhale harms the people around you who involuntary inhale that smoke. A secondhand smoker is more dangerous than you are. I just don't see the appropriateness in the fact that you, the likes of you, smoked cigarettes in front of us. At least find a place far from us, which is not harmful to us. I feel so upset.

Jan 1, 2013

Twins of Faith 2012: Purification of Soul

By an American lecturer Omer Suleiman.

**This is what I learnt and got the chance to jot down. It may not be in  sequence. Do correct me if I'm wrong. All the bad is from me, and all the good comes from Him. 

  • The greatest enemy is your free time. Spend your time on good things.
  • Guilty conscious are not there when you let yourself towards sin. Learn to stop the sin the second you remember Allah. Don't let bad things, example, gazing, entertains your thoughts.
  • Standards change in accordance to the people around you. Your view and standards change.
  • Thus change the environment. Distant yourself from the sin. If the medium of your sin is Facebook, then deactivate your Facebook account. Make sacrifice for Allah, leave the sin. Leave the things that lead to sin.
  • A believer is the mirror of a brother. People can point out to you what you can't see. Surround yourself with people who love you and tell that you're messing up. Surround yourself with people that care for you. That point out your faults in a way that they care.
  • Good deeds lead you closer to Allah. It makes you aware of yourself. But do not be proud of your good deed.
  • The sin that make you taubah totally is a good thing, that you're forgiven of that sin, because of that sin, you changed for better.
  • Be engaged in purifying yourself, that you try and strive to be closer to Allah. That when explaining your deeds, you can say, 'These are the things I did, and I have tried my best for You.'
  • Tell kids with positive enforcement, make 'em feel good for what they do, for example solah. You should say A'uzubillahiminash shaitaanirrajiim, and tell them, don't be lazy. Instead of telling them that they're lazy and shaaitan is influencing you.
  • We get closer to Allah through our sin. We should recognize our imperfections and strive for perfection.
  • Feeling good about your good deed is good. It means you're still alive, your spiritual. But don't be proud of it. The deed should not make you feel like you're better than anyone else and make you do less deeds.
  • Fear that you're not as good as you are in private.
  • Turn towards Allah, as long as you're moving in the right direction. Allah patches up for, make excuses for you, for the sin you made. Allah covers up your sin with your voluntary deeds.
  • Allah, Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim. The basis of these words is Ar-Rahmah, which is motherly love.
  • Those who are accustomed to failure, so dependent on others and like to blame others, and actually knew their potential but procrastinate.
  • Avoid minor sins which are intentional and consistent. Paradise of certainty inside you heart, which is Allah. Just ask Allah, speak to Allah. Lord is willing to forgive you and show you mercy.

That is all. Till then. Salam.

Twins of Faith 2012: Blissfully married & Happily divorced

By an American lecturer Omer Suleiman.

**This is what I learnt and got the chance to jot down. It may not be in  sequence. Do correct me if I'm wrong. All the bad is from me, and all the good comes from Him. 

Lailahaillallah keeps us going.

Choosing a person based on deen and the character that you like. A quote says, "Tongue its a spoonful of heart." Good tongue possibly has a good heart. But a bad tongue has a bad heart. This must taken into consideration too. But don't choose a hypocrite. Like, saying, "Islam will make its way later after married," is not a good thing. It usually could destroy your marriage. This is about how you interact during marriage. Deen helps you get through marriage. It holds the marriage together and for to seek blessing. It's about learning each other's character, the internal beauty (khuluk).

  • Parents should help and be involved in finding the spouse for children. Like, give advice, but not force them.
  • Before marriage, ask about serious things in an appropriate situation, i.e there's a mahram near you to watch you. Discuss about serious matters and the conditions you want when you're married. If you want your spouse to change for the better i.e stop from doing a bad habit, you need to tolerate with that by offering him a favour of your own. For example, wearing hijab.
  • But don't ask about past tense, their ex-boyfriends or girlfriends, their previous relationships. Leave the past behind.
  • A wife can tell the husband don't marry another woman, but this must be told early, when in discussion.
  • Attraction is important, to most people. Though attraction is not all. The attraction of your spouse, it guards your gaze. It'll just create distraction.
  • People should read on their responsibilities in a marriage, not their rights in a marriage. It is not about claiming your rights in a marriage, it's more to your responsibilities in a marriage.
Once you've discussed with each other on what you want in a marriage, then comes the Istikharah, for guidance. Pray to Allah to make it easy for you if it's good. And to make it hard for you if it's bad.

In marriage: 
  • Ensure your family is compatible with your spouse and does not make your spouse's life miserable. Be separate from in-laws; have separate houses. Give your spouse (wife) privacy as much as you can. Create space between your family and your spouse. But reconcile with both parties that seeing them cold with each other is making your life miserable. Perhaps they could learn to like each other for you.
  • Don't take sides between your family or your spouse. Do not belittle your spouse.
  • Identify each other's space, the boiling point. Take time to distant from each other when in a severe argument or about to have one. Remove yourself from striking. Do not talk it out at that time, when you're fully emotionally charged. Stop the argument, recite Istighfar, and make wudhu'. Reconcile with each other, but not fighting.
  • If once violence started, don't think it's gonna get better. It is not going to get better. Stay away from violence. Don't let your kids being exposed to it.
  • This all relates to al-Mujahidah, which is, based on what Imam Raghib Asfahani wrote, 'the concentration of all your efforts to face the enemy', the shaaitan.
  • Wife must obey the husband, but only unconditionally(?). Men are to make decisions, but also decisions that held with accountability, to deen.
After divorce, you should cut all the communications with your ex-spouse. Unless for necessary things for instance, regarding kids.

That is all. Thanks. Salam.