Apr 28, 2013

Dulu kat maktab, setiap pagi baca asma ul-husna. Ni dah dua tahun dibelenggu maksiat. Kurang mengingati Allah swt. Istighfar :(

It's so easy to talk about it, now do we? As if we're so sure that we'd end up together, which would be the loveliest thing that could happen in my life.

Apr 27, 2013

Ditto

The feelings I feel for you. The things I wish to have. But do you even feel the same?

Apr 25, 2013

Photos

Sometimes I wish we go back to the times when we were together
And that I freeze those moments with pictures
So I can reminisce them when I miss you
Because I always miss you

Somehow I regret, but it's the thing that keep my heart from breaking into more pieces than if the pictures exist.

Shiver

She was there, happy to see you, mesmerized by the sight of you, shiver being close to you
For you, just to see you.

Vulnerable

To give away pieces of yourself, to bare your soul, you've let yourself appear vulnerable to that person.

Before even tying the knot

Checklist
1. Solat
2. Cintailah ilmu
3. Manfaat orang lain
4. Akhlak
5. Relationship dengan Allah
Marriage is not about LOVE, it's about making UMMAH.
And I'm still learning how to love but for Allah swt. It's just difficult to grasp sometimes.

Living in committee

When Atul enters a committee.. even far away from home.. it makes me wonder, why do I hate this so much?

Apr 24, 2013

Wind

If you have accidentally fallen for someone else, even if you convince yourself that you won't, then maybe, maybe we are not meant to be

Apr 22, 2013

The beast

It's like beauty and the beast. And the sad part is, I'm the beast.

Apr 18, 2013

Anxiety

It's the fact that you have the other heart to worry, to take care of, when you couldn't even handle yourself right. Your soul is already full of miseries. Adding others to your concern adds it up. And it's difficult for you, because you worry too much.

Apr 17, 2013

Hati

Wahai hati, kenapa benda kecil pun senang terusik? You are not strong enough. Even at this young age. So how would you expect that you could handle that in the future? Be strong for yourself. Other people are the least of your concern. Please, build a stronger concrete wall.

Every second of worry

I know why you're a distraction, a huge one indeed. There are always days when I feel like things are left unsaid and hanging, and that's when I start to worry. I worry too much. Maybe it's nothing for you. But me. I worry too much. It's a constant fight against this feeling of anxiety. And it disturbs me so bad, having an immense effect on my focus on more important things. Yes I should not think too much. But that's how I am. And I can't expect you to always sooth me down. I'm not even rightfully yours for you to absolutely take care of me.
Sometimes you are not a disturbance. But when you are, it hurts. Blaming you when you are not to blame. This doesn't seem to be a healthy thing for my mind. I cause myself pain. And it's not even you.

Apr 14, 2013

Heart Attack

I wish to be apart, coz I'm afraid to lose you or be away from you. So let me have that prepared, before I get a heart attack

Apr 13, 2013

That girl

That strong feeling of curiosity in everything she does, that girl he talks to.
My days are so unbearable knowing I'm the cause of your pain

Blind

I was too blind to see that you never really loved me the way you loved her

Apr 12, 2013

Not again

Indeed we are too similar in things, we think the same things. We understand each other. Since then, no grudges kept. No unsatisfactory. It's okay between us now. But that doesn't mean I have to break down my wall. No. I won't let the same thing happen again. I'll build it up high. Just enough for this heart to not take seriously everything you do

Everlasting beauty

You are a beautiful sight I want to look at for the rest of my life

Apr 8, 2013

Maybe this is how it is

I made a constant reminder to myself wake up and that first thing I wanna do is to perform Subuh.
Before sleep, I tried to zikr until I fell asleep.
The dreams weren't scary, instead they were the things that I want to do on the next day.
I woke up to the sound of athan, which usually I wouldn't even hear the slightest of it. With will power, I woke up and straight away perform solah. It was a good feeling.
It may be because of excess caffeine. But I believe that is not the case. I've been caffeinated before, my usual Sundays. But this time is different. Because I feel good about today. I look forward to it.
Maybe this is why all these days I've been able to listen to azan and straight away wake up.
(8/4/13)

In my head

I contaminate myself with the thoughts of you, and indirectly I neglect Him.
Though no matter how far I want to run away, I always want, you.
So I pray. But I always pray that it's you.

Apr 3, 2013

On mind, off the deen

Sometimes I think it's fatal to have a person always lingering on my mind. To have scenes running vividly through your mind. Sometimes against the Deen. When it just doesn't feel right. You think you just have to stop it before it gets worst.
That's why it can't be just the two of us.

FREAKS