Jul 29, 2013

Wearing my stuff

I don't quite like it when people wear my stuff. Especially when they look better on them. It would just emphasize my insecurities. But whatever.

Jul 28, 2013

Homies #4

You visualized the whole of us  going to the bazar Ramadhan together and to break the fast together under one roof. But things came up. Plans were not met. So we part. The sad part is, that was the beginning of the whole of us going separate ways.

What has brought us together was only desperation, no love and willingness to each other. Some give no much care, but just to have a shelter to live in.

So never think that things could last, or go your way, of how you thought it would be.

Jul 27, 2013

Oblivious #2

The most frustrating thing is that a person retweet or reblog some negative post that is meant for him/her. And that they thought it’s for your own self, not them. GO RUN YOURSELF INTO THE WALL PLEASE

Jul 25, 2013

Midnight remedy

Coz I was upset. And Teha felt the same way too, towards hers. So this is our remedy. And sahur. And it was really good remedy.

The eggs look so little for three people, no? Well, it is very enough, even had some surplus. Moral of the story? Don't judge the amount of food by its appearance. Coz well, we thought of cooking a telur dadar but then we refused to, sebab telur dadar tu sekejap je masak. Jadi, kalau nak lagi, boleh je masak lepas tu. Nasibla tak masak. Banyak lebih!

Some other time

Give them the things they deserve, coz something cannot just be pulled off at "some other time".

Jul 24, 2013

Love prevail

As much as I love them, I hate it when they bombard the organization I am in. They don't know what actually happened. They don't know the things behind the scene. I am actually quite surprised that I felt this way. All along I hated it. But when I've looked things in a positive way, letting things in, letting them in... I feel so angry to whom saying bad things about this board. I felt wrong to just play along with their bombarding the board, in which I am in. I should feel ashamed.


Terkejut kan tengok rumah kitorang.
Kritikal dah rumah ni
Lol rumah bujang la. What do you expect
Ahaa syik asyik condemn apa yang dia cakap saya ni. Orang yang sama pulak tu. Kau ni tak suka orang cakap buruk pasal rumah hang kee sebab hang tak suka dia
Fikir balik

Lecturers and quotes

I don't know why, but I just love to jot down some things that my lecturers say. Like some inspiring quotes they randomly said out loud to the students. I am impressed. It may be that those words really come sincerely from them, their own words, their own experiences.

Jul 23, 2013

Early sleep

No I don't understand why some people are shocked when someone is going to bed at 11. Freaking 11. As if it's too early. Cmon. Enough sleep it's a good way of healthy life. It's a beauty sleep anyway.

Asking 'nak tidur dah?' in such a way is very unpleasing. As if all this time you have slept late...

Jul 22, 2013

Kain sembahyang

Situasinya sipolan nak solat. Atas dah menutup aurat. Tapi bawah masih terdedah sikit. Maka sipolan pun amekla kain telekung, pakai kain tu untuk tutup aurat.

Tapi masalahnya kain tu diikat kat pinggang seketatnya supaya tak lucut. Punyala ketat sampai nampak bentuk punggung.. Tak cantik beno ghupenye. Pelik. Padahal orang pakai telekung untuk tutup bentuk badan. Tapi ni jelas nampak bentuk punggungnya. Namun sipolan masih meneruskan menunaikan solatnya..

Punye le idok kume gemor nengok oghang pakai ghupe gitu.. Kalau nak menutup tu, tutup lah dengan caghe yang betoi.. Sensitif kat tempat tempat berbonggol tu..

Ini kume beringatkan pade diri sendighi juge.. Kadang tu kite idok peghasan

Less fortunate

Why is it that the older I get, the less I want to eat for breaking the fast? But I noticed that since in MRSM. I ate less. That time, maybe because of time constraint. But now, I don't know if it's my lack of appetite, or I just don't think eating too much at one time would help or cover up the whole day's meal.

And I have this feeling, sympathy, empathy for other less fortunate people. What could they be eating, when we have good food to churn?

Jul 21, 2013

Jobs and Partner




The Cupid Effect #1

Just like I didn't particularly like girly girls; girly girls didn't particularly like ungirly girls. Which was cool. As long as we both stuck to our respective areas of expertise - her: hair, make up, boys, me: science fiction, psychology and using my brain.

Shit happens

I dont actually like you
And then you said you were just joking. Wth? You even said seriously. Or am I wrong here. But the way I read it, the serious part of that you don't actually like me. I actually don't mind that, but the fact that you said you were just joking. WHAT THE HELL?

What actually the change you want in me? What is it in me that does not satisfy you? What actually the guys have been saying? If not in front of me, but to you? Coz what I know, I never terasa by anything they said. To hell what they say. I know what I'm feeling. I know what I'm thinking. I know myself. I know the truth. Let them be entertained with what they tease me. Let them make me as a toy to play with. Sounds cheap don't I? Maybe you should tell me what they have been saying. Be frank.

Why do you always resist to tell me what they said? Maybe I'm too easy for them too. Maybe I'm too easy for you too. And that comes the boring part.

What do you want me to change???? Why???? If you're saying I should change how I am with people, and not follow my moodiness all the time, then sure. I agree with you. If you say I should learn how to cook, yes, I agree. I should. Learn more on our Deen? Yes. I should. Cooking, Deen, how to behave with anyone... these kind of things that a wife or a mother should have. I should have those. Even if its not you, I still needed to have those. But if the change in how I react to those guys? Why care? I don't terasa AT ALL.

It's like you want me to change who I am. It's like I'm not perfect for you. It's like you don't accept me the way I am. It's like all this while you are just loving the IDEA of me. The me that you built yourself in your head. Maybe how I react to them is a shame to you, that means I am a shame to you.

I could go on telling what I think, because you are not being frank. I could assume so many things, until you just say it out. Maybe I'm too cheap, too easy for you. That I bore you.

I'm not arguing, because you are right. I am never good at arguing anyway. I always lose. I am the stupid one when it comes to arguing. My facts are foolish and childish. I've always lost. With every single person I encounter.

Maybe I'm just not what you want. Maybe you got the wrong person. But this is how am with people. I am boring. I don't tell jokes. I can't do jokes. My friends don't see me as the friend to have fun with. Coz I'm flat. I'm serious. Hambar. It's only sometimes that I can be a joker and fun person. Well I do know how to have fun. But I can't help being boring. Maybe you don't want a boring person in your life. So many other girls that could make you happy, make you smile, make you laugh, constantly. But it seems that it's not me. 

You want me to remind you why me?? Coz you're getting bored don't you? You wonder why do you even like me at the first place. You are afraid you'll forget why. And of course when you ask me that, you've already forgotten why. But I can't tell you why. It's something you only yourself know. That's why you hoped that the feelings stay. Coz it's fading, right? Coz you feel that it's fading.

You never liked me don't you? You seem to be forced to like me. Or maybe you aren't. It seems like you regret liking me.

You don't need to feel sorry for my being of boring. I'm the one who's boring here. But I'm sorry. By that I meant I'm sorry for you that you feel bored because of me. Too bad. I can't entertain.

You make me feel I'm unworthy of you. You always want me to change. Constantly saying you want me to change tho not drastically. But the fact that it's a constant reminder, you want me to change so bad. It's frustrating. Tho I know you know that I'm trying my best.

All I know is that you want me to change how I deal with work together with people. Fine. But what is deal about last night? Why do you want me to change? Why can't you accept? Accept just the way I am? Stay with who I am? What if you never knew these things about me?

Maybe we meet each other at the wrong time. Maybe the future me is already so good. That I don't need to constantly listen to your 'change for the better' lecture. I AM naive. Call me that. It's not soft. It's not kind hearted. It's naive. I might be younger than you, less experienced than you. You might have gone through more shit than I do. Coz I admit I AM naive.

And now you're acting like nothing has happened. I hate you so much. I'm so angry. So mad at you. Why can't you just accept?

Jul 20, 2013

Telling God

It's not about not telling God the problems we are facing; that other places like blogs and social network to be the place to express our problems. No, it's not about that. People have different ways to express. They may already express it to God; then they may also need to express it somewhere, and to someone. Because that's just the way it is. People express things in different ways.

Housemates #3

You know what sucks? When you're really in need, but there's no one in particular that could be there to listen to you

Jul 19, 2013

Back again

Yeayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I'm happy !!! *happydance* Thank you soo much.

And my dear Mad, I really appreciate that post. I cried :') Thank youu

Jul 18, 2013

Housemates #2

I guess it's hard for me to get used to new housemates. Nasib diorang friendly.

Cook #3

Hahah I tried to cook bendi sambal or whatever the name is, and it was an epic fail. The ikan bilis are burnt. Bendi bendi tu pulak berlendir masa masak. Sebab tak basuh selepas dipotong. Haa memang. Sambalnya pulak melekat kat kuali. Rugi betul. Dan ini lah hasilnya. Gambar pun diambil sebab nak tunjuk kat emak haha. Jadi, ni yang lebih lebih je. Tapi kawan saya kata sambalnya boleh improvekan lagi! Yeayyyy!

Jul 17, 2013


So tell me, who doesn't want to brag about how good a person is? When you are so proud of him/her?

Jul 15, 2013

Fashion police

I asked for the second time, Who actually said it? Not because it was out of jealousy or furious that some people were checking out on him. But because I want to prove to myself that he is more than what he was before. Still, I didn't make that change. He did. Only few words told, and he is how he looks now. Maybe I'm the cause, maybe I'm not. But I proved myself right.

Jul 14, 2013

Cook for people

It's the full moon cycle. And I'm so excited coz it means that I can cook and taste! And to even cook for my homies! You just cannot let go of this opportunity #letsdothis

Jul 12, 2013

Registration Day

Ehh gambar Kowi takde. Well, this is us on registration day, July 8th, out for a movie Despicable Me. Oh, and we celebrated Mad's birthday at night. I love the shawl very much. Worth the expense. Photos will be uploaded!

Jul 10, 2013

Yours quite good too

Since they mentioned him, praising his looks, he seems to be lingering on my mind the whole time. And he wouldn't quit. He wouldn't.

Jul 8, 2013

Good person

Orang yang baik adalah untuk orang yang baik
I guess that really shows in the past engagements and marriages. O Allah.

Jul 6, 2013

Maybe being crazy won't do

A bring the craziness in me. Since the first semester of ACCA knowing him closer, I was like.. okay. I got more tomboy look. I got crazier. I laughed harder. I enjoyed life. Too much I could not stop laughing. I got used to more guys of his likes.

It’s like that when I was with AA. But with the likes of both of these boys, it never worked out. They’re too outgoing, because I am too, maybe.

But then came this guy, innocent, down to earth, rarely speaks; a white horse. There’s a reason they called him a white horse. He is light skinned. Like really. So much contradicting my brown skin. And that makes him so beautiful. Like how beautiful a horse can be, with that swooshing hair, which he has on him recently.

And he is all this good of a guy you could hardly find nowadays. You’d feel so lucky to have him. Despite anything, you will just try not to lose him and make it work, insyaaAllah.

He does not bring the craziness in me. I don’t mind. Instead he makes me more girly than ever. I behaved, because to behave in a good manner would be calming to me, I admit. It’s not because nak control ayu. No. And I hope no. But because the serenity he’d given me, the atmosphere he brought to my life.

Of course, he has his flaws. He is not all the perfect. I’m not. You have to accept the flaws of your one other eventually, right?

By all means of the love stories, I hope this lasts.

Sacrificing holidays

It's a pain in the ass to work on your HOLIDAY. I mean, it's HOLIDAY. Why do you need to work on your HOLIDAY?

That's how previously the organizing board couldn't provide advanced information for students to have better planning of their daily lives.

People like me won't sacrifice HOLIDAY for work. You finally got your day/days off after a loooooooonnnnnng time. And what, you want to sacrifice that? No. You make full use of your holiday. And not by doing the work in the office, nope. You see, that was why when all of the committee in the organizing board like me exist, which none are willing to sacrifice their holidays, the advanced information could not be achieved. It's sad. Really. As a student myself, I'm upset.

But with someone rather devoted and committed to her work, things are better. I respect and salute her commitment. But never will I have that kind of commitment until I actually work and get paid.

I'm that berkira person. It's bad. Like no sincerity. But for now, it's how I see it.

Thankful to the people

I could be so thankful how people enter my life, leaving meaningful knowledge to me, but I could be so passive on expressing how grateful I am to have them.

Is that ego, I sense? Or is it natural for some people to behave this way? Maybe.

Into idioms

I was that freak who high lights a novel, even expensive ones; highlighting attractive and interesting use of idioms, figurative and literative use of words and phrases. And then jot them down so that I won't forget. Or so to use them in my essays. I was that freak, to produce a beautiful lovely page-turner essays. The freak to enlighten people up with adventures carved into words. To let them the chance to live and experience a new life. And having better perspective.

Plainly those are what story books have given me.
I thank mostly to Puan Lidzawati, who inspired me. Thank you.

Wishing birthdays

When you want or have a thought crossed your mind to wish someone birthday, don't procrastinate. Like, I'll wish him later. There won't be a later. Usually you'd forget about it until the day, or days, have passed. Then only you'd going to be to yourself like, Oh gosh I totally forgot to wish him! Bummer.

Just something happens everytime


It's funny how you only quote the things from a book that are only related to you. That might actually benefit other people if you have had quoted other things about life.

Jul 4, 2013

Wasted times

I hate it when you have important things to do, but you couldn't. Let's say you don't have the help (your father) in order for you to do it. You end up having to spend your days at home, doing nothing of importance. That any important thing that might have been, would not be so important because of the more important things you have to do.

Jul 2, 2013


If you still see me as that top student who beat other top students, which has shocked you at that time.. Well, know that that you should not be shocked if failure comes my way.

I'm drowning, going astray. It's difficult.

Kata ganti nama diri

Sometimes it doesn't feel right to use Aku Kau among girlfriends in public. It sounds too harsh. Maybe because I'm already used to Kita Awak.

But listening to Mad and Atul using other than aku kau with me, it somehow bothers me. Coz I'm not used to that. Lol. Well, whatever as long as it's comfortable.

Jul 1, 2013

New entrants

Dulu sewa rumah RM230 sebulan (masuk bil semua). Sekarang dah turun ke RM150 (tak masuk bil semua). Alhamdulillah. Tapi tak tahu gaya hidupnya macam mana. Tapi insyaaAllah okay. InsyaaAllah.