I wanna continue something we talked about the other day. This is related to entry #613.
One of the reason Ha wanted me to start live streaming is to find back myself. I was lost. I shut down. I caved in. I pushed out people. Even my family. And Ha might be also affected by this. But he was still there with me :')
What kind of Erin that I have lost? Happy-go-lucky, crazy, spontaneous, s'porting, joyful. And all the positive vibes. I did not realise that I was actually liked by my friends, not just guys. Because I have that vibe, my own positive vibe. Alhamdulillah. But I didn't realise that.
That's what Atul was talking about. "We want back the old Erin! In fact, a better Erin!" I miss her too. I know that "people are who they are because of what happened in the past". Sometimes you change over time, that you couldn't be the old you. But the thing is, that vibe is my core. And anything positive is always good, no?
*to be continued* nak g makan
1:46pm
Alhamdulillah done lunch kat kedai makan baru kat bawah ni. Dayang Sarawak apa tah hahaha
***
Anyway. Yes, I lost myself. But alhamdulillah I'm so much more happier now. I feel alive again. I am very sorry to my husband that I was not this alive when I was with him along the years. HE'S DEFINITELY A KEEPER. He stayed throughout my downfall :'(
I make new friends now. Even if it's online friends, that we never met in real life, I still feel that they're important. Like they're good people. I like my husband's circle of online friends too. The MRG squad. But because we started off with me being so silent, so I am a bit awkward with them even when I have improved a bit now. But I still like to hang out with them virtually haha.
Idk man. But everything happens for a reason. Allah has planned things so beautifully. People have crossed with your path for a reason. People come and go for a reason. To teach us something, good or bad, even though it is virtually.
Every person has their own personality, even online, even if it's a masked character. Every person teach me something different.
It feels more like home when I started knowing Chu. And other girls. Maybe I have been yearning, like I always have, for love from girlfriends. Yakno? That ukhuwah.
So Ha told me, that I have the vibe, that people like me, that people are attracted to. Even Chu said that it's hard to find someone like me. Like sekepala dengan dia, gila gila, humble, fun, etc. I almost cried when she told me that, in front of me and Ha x3 Because, alhamdulillah, I found her. I found myself.
Now we just need to maneuver back our life in the right path :)
1:46pm
Alhamdulillah done lunch kat kedai makan baru kat bawah ni. Dayang Sarawak apa tah hahaha
***
Anyway. Yes, I lost myself. But alhamdulillah I'm so much more happier now. I feel alive again. I am very sorry to my husband that I was not this alive when I was with him along the years. HE'S DEFINITELY A KEEPER. He stayed throughout my downfall :'(
I make new friends now. Even if it's online friends, that we never met in real life, I still feel that they're important. Like they're good people. I like my husband's circle of online friends too. The MRG squad. But because we started off with me being so silent, so I am a bit awkward with them even when I have improved a bit now. But I still like to hang out with them virtually haha.
Idk man. But everything happens for a reason. Allah has planned things so beautifully. People have crossed with your path for a reason. People come and go for a reason. To teach us something, good or bad, even though it is virtually.
Every person has their own personality, even online, even if it's a masked character. Every person teach me something different.
It feels more like home when I started knowing Chu. And other girls. Maybe I have been yearning, like I always have, for love from girlfriends. Yakno? That ukhuwah.
So Ha told me, that I have the vibe, that people like me, that people are attracted to. Even Chu said that it's hard to find someone like me. Like sekepala dengan dia, gila gila, humble, fun, etc. I almost cried when she told me that, in front of me and Ha x3 Because, alhamdulillah, I found her. I found myself.
Now we just need to maneuver back our life in the right path :)
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