#613

For today, I've set some goals. One of it is to think about my life, career, along with my husband.

I'm working here, getting underpaid. Wait, no. I'm not underpaid. The position and the pay they give is suits one another. But it doesn't suit my qualification. Which I can actually do more than just this.

Yesterday husband and I had a conversation on this. I told him I felt guilty because I don't do anything in office, that they are paying me for me doing nothing. Like it's an added cost to them.

But then that's not true. They don't care much because they're just paying me to do complete set of accounts, which only takes me one (1) day per week to complete it. And the other two days, I'm being idle. So they're just paying me for the time I have spent in office. Which actually my time costs so much more! Time is valuable and that's not the price I could accept for myself. They're not to be blamed. It's that, I have the opportunity to do something else with that time, which is more valuable, even if it's not in terms of money, but plainly just something valuable and brings meaning to my daily life as a whole.

Aboh has so many times told me about 6 months being in this company, then go to another company, or just do freelance accounting. But I didn't. Just like how Ha did not realise about life decisions when Aboh advised him.

So now we are thinking of pursuing again our ACCA membership. But I don't want to leave my new circle of friends :( What happens if I quit the game and streaming?

Worst come to worst, I quit the squad. But still stream at night/subuh. And the streaming is unpaid, but just a hobby, although in hopes to be paid... I would break Chu's heart :( So bad... hm. 

Then we're just working out ass off as Auditor/Accountant. I would also quit from being Accountant for this current company. Or maybe just help them, with very minimal that I don't mind. If they wanna ask me things, I don't mind. InsyaaAllah. I'm so attached to this company, I think. That I would want to help them :/

Nevertheless, I still want to play with this squad. And Ha gives me one year. To achieve something. Goals. Goals are what I lack of. I don't set goals. And now having the realisation, I need to.

What do I want to achieve from this squad? Getting paid for streaming. Not much for being a professional gamer. But what if along the way, I become good. Somehow we got some money for being gamers. High pay for being a streamer. What if? Do I still continue pursuing account based career? Coz honestly, that's the career that I'm best at. Just that I don't have the soft skills. 

So, I quit this company, go to Audit company. I still go along with the squad, for one year. I still stream at night.

See how it goes after one year. If both the latter are not fruitful, I might need to quit it. And continue to pursue accounting career :/

And I want to have kids ^^" Something I don't know how I was able to even type that and think that. Haha

Oh Allah