Downgrade.

One thing for sure... I may not mind being at the bench for the whole game
I may not mind that they hate me for skipping training sessions
I may not mind I would not be liked by them
I know for a fact that they would, even not showing it, get mad at me because I know I owe them my time for training
I know for a fact that they would or might have downgraded me for being ignorant and selfish

Perhaps I might have also done this to the Chronicles crew
Perhaps also that I might have done this since day one, to my batchmates whom I needed to work with with some events

It's a lonely way to live
Even the closest person around hates me for it
I chose to be ignorant. But seriously? It is not a bliss.

I could give you these possible situations.
I could have been a better person if I were to still live in that area, in a rented house.
I could have been better if I am willing enough to ask my friends if I could stay a night or two
But no. I didn't. I might have purposely ignored everything and run away from my responsibility.
Responsibility! If you are ignorant of people, maybe that's okay. But responsibility? I do not think it's a wise thing to do.

Ah yes I could reason and justify my situations but only in terms of IQ
I think my EQ is not as high as what my high school teacher proclaimed
I am failing miserably... And I wonder what happens to my working life
Change is inevitable. But what kind of change will I be?

Judgmental psychologically

We’re taught to look like other people. Like you should lose this much weight right after you have a baby. That person is that size. If you’re one of those people, you feel like, I’m letting everyone down. It can’t be that true. I think it’s really hard for people to have the confidence to focus on themselves without being somewhat judgmental psychologically.

- Brook Shields 

My beloved lecturer

I put my head on the table while reading the question he asked us to do. Obviously he could see that, so he said, 'I hope you all put some more interest, get excited for this last question before going back. Come on la.'

Dead in the water

You are all the jealous feelings that exist.
I know this, because I feel the same way.
Not felt, but feel.
But in terms of perspective, it's different for me.
Because I was the reason of all that.
I am to be blamed

Go on and tell yourself that you're not jealous of what happened. 'Cause just by denying, it really proves you actually are.

Rendevous

What a coincidence! Bumped into Farah Izzati and my ex-senior Yaakub at Alamanda shopping mall. My ex-schoolmates. I don't know why, something inside me feels good to see familiar faces. And I didn't seem to ignore them when I see them.