Fake

In the end.. they are the ones who stayed. And I'm the fake friend who doesn't.

When I asked you, "When a friend suddenly keeps quiet, would you go and ask her directly? Like, what happened to her? Did I do something wrong? Would you ask that way?"

That, was actually for some other friend. That feeling to you wasn't that strong. But now, it has gone worst. I hate this.

So you answered, "Well it depends. Maybe she has changed? That she is not how she used to be with you before?"

How deep is that? Indirectly, I think you were referring to me too. And I think you felt as if what I asked you, was for you. I didn't realize I was doing that, till now.

I couldn't ask a thing about this. I couldn't live by my principle: "When something felt wrong, just ask straight away." I couldn't. Because I'm afraid, I'm a coward. Just like how I used to be back then with my previous room-mates. Why am I this way?

I miss you :(

11.11.12

So many things to say. But I'll just keep it.

For now, have a great birthday c:

Never a cheesy pick up line

I don't let him make a pick up line on me. And I never want to try to do it to him. Because in the end, I'll feel so disgusted with this mushymushy stuff that it became too much.

I'm afraid that in the end, I'll tell him off, like how I used to previously. Then I'll regret. I don't want to lose anyone. Not again. Once is enough. I hope this would turn to something better.

But time and again, if he really means it, I might take it positively. Lol.

Don't do what you don't want people do to you

Ditched. I pity my friend because if I've left, it'd be like I ditch her. Instead, I stayed.
But in the end, I'm left alone. Sad. Yes, I am.
But to think back, I can bear with going alone. It's not like I never went home alone. Going to this certain class uses the same route anyway. So why not.

Just be strong. It's okay, dear. It's okay.

Put aside the hatred

Dear, when you feel like you hate someone of your own religion, remember, that she is your saudara se-Islam. Forgive her/him for what they do. Look at them with the perspective of love.

Yes there are people who are of annoyance, but when you think back, what have they done to you? What wrong did they do? Mostly nothing. It’s just one of the littlest things that annoy you. It doesn't top off your friendship with them.

Dear dear, value your friendship. Put aside this hatred, this loathe. Please don’t let it get to you.

Walls up

I've decided. I don't want to be close to anybody here. I don't want to let people in. Nobody. It would just hurt too much.