#522

One thing I feel useful for today is that I did proofreading for a short clip. That I got to detect some errors. But now I still doubt that the word ‘inputs’ is grammatically correct. I think input is an uncountable noun. Hm k

#521

LM viral post. Yeah I agree why people are mad. Because of that one statement, one sentence. True, she did not thoroughly review the things she would say, or else she wouldn't have come out with that statement. In all honesty, I was shocked too when I heard the statement LIVE. But I brushed it off because I understand the whole point of the video and the all other videos. She's just trying to help, giving advises, collected from real experiences.

I mean, to me, she never included Islam exclusively, in all of her talk. Because the advise is general even for non-muslims. And I agree, because I always thought of how Posh Beckham is still with David Beckham, and the fact that someone (my friend maybe?) said something like, "Ye la, tengok la camne dia jaga suami dia." Yakno? So I don't get why people are saying, penunggang agama? She didn't relate most or anything to agama? As far as I remember. Because honestly, I was always questioning why she didn't include words from Quran or Hadith when she gives talks.

She is the owner, the boss, and maybe her husband didn't even get to review. Thus the video was posted. Because she thought nothing was wrong in that video. She turned out wrong. But she admitted it. And I know the issue is very sensitive. So sensitive because victims are barely cured from the trauma and experience. True.

I don't think it's wrong? To advise people on rejuvenating marriages. To spread the stories from couples who have experienced hardships etc. I mean, sometimes it's hard to know some problems exist, until there is a channel to tell you so. And the worst things exist, people. And she's helping us to prevent or cure that.

I don't know man. Maybe you'll say aku menjunjung sangat dia, taksub dengan dia dan agenda dia. But I don't think I am. I am fully and well aware of the rapists issue. And it is definitely wrong.

To me, people make mistakes. No human is perfect. People accidentally say things, rational or irrational.

I still look forward to her talks and advises that are related to my situation. Coz her stories she got from other people really help. I think people who are very long in a marriage could agree on her advises.

#520

I know I'm not using my knowledge and skills to the fullest. Not in terms of accounting, not even in terms of photography, or even in terms of being able to do what runners can do. 

Rugi la. Kamu dah dapat pelajaran tu. Orang lain bukan susah lagi nak dapat.

I know he is right. But then I remembered a conversation between me and Nuroule. I think I said something like, I want to settle for less. I just want to be an accountant. That's it.

But of course, she is very the opposite of me. She has visions and missions. While I don't. My vision stops there. An accountant.

To think back, I might have only thought about being an accountant while also being in charity stuff. Since I was in high school.

I don't know why. No one from the corporate (or maybe anywhere) ever motivates me to work more than what I want. I know I can do better. I know those positions are easy to get. But I just don't go for it?

Am I doing this wrong? I know for a fact, I actually need to have a full-time job. Not a part time. I don't know where I'm going with this company, but I'm still here alhamdulillah. I do feel useless, no blame on any employer. Like I don't use my brain, like how my cousin sister always say about her job. She got paid, but her brain doesn't do much work. I know that everyday goes by, I thought, I want to do more. Just maybe not accounting? I don't know.

I hate that Dad is right. I know I have gone through a lot to finish my professional course, to just throw it away? But, I just can't, Dad. How do I explain this?

#519

I might not show it to you or the public. I might not express my gratitude. But I'm always thankful for the past years and even til now and in the future. I still bottle up so many things but you'll always be in my prayers.

#518: Reverting old posts

I have reverted some posts which have those photos with aurat terdedah. Mostly from high school, in 2009. Never would I want to delete them. Maybe I'll reconsider to save the photos and edit them so the aurat are covered.

#517

I can’t believe how every time I put on ‘make up’, I still remember how my close friend  talked behind my back about my makeup on my wedding day :( and didn’t even come upfront about it afterwards. I know I don’t actually have close friends. But I just pray the best for them. I am that negative person like how Amal Azman is. It’s hard to have friends or stay connected with them. Because I just give the negative vibes.