#520

I know I'm not using my knowledge and skills to the fullest. Not in terms of accounting, not even in terms of photography, or even in terms of being able to do what runners can do. 

Rugi la. Kamu dah dapat pelajaran tu. Orang lain bukan susah lagi nak dapat.

I know he is right. But then I remembered a conversation between me and Nuroule. I think I said something like, I want to settle for less. I just want to be an accountant. That's it.

But of course, she is very the opposite of me. She has visions and missions. While I don't. My vision stops there. An accountant.

To think back, I might have only thought about being an accountant while also being in charity stuff. Since I was in high school.

I don't know why. No one from the corporate (or maybe anywhere) ever motivates me to work more than what I want. I know I can do better. I know those positions are easy to get. But I just don't go for it?

Am I doing this wrong? I know for a fact, I actually need to have a full-time job. Not a part time. I don't know where I'm going with this company, but I'm still here alhamdulillah. I do feel useless, no blame on any employer. Like I don't use my brain, like how my cousin sister always say about her job. She got paid, but her brain doesn't do much work. I know that everyday goes by, I thought, I want to do more. Just maybe not accounting? I don't know.

I hate that Dad is right. I know I have gone through a lot to finish my professional course, to just throw it away? But, I just can't, Dad. How do I explain this?