Study Of Life

You never aroused me. My heart did not once welcome you. It was locked and only the chosen ones survived, with all my care.

I took a gamble by taking you as my tenth. Just for the sake of staying there. It was gut-wrenching.

Never did I care to put you high up in my chart. Never did I care to aim you for the moon when perhaps you could fall on the stars.

You were sickening me. Reading you lines by lines did not make any difference. It was to no avail.

Upon a critical level, I had to love you. So I tried. I poured out all the bad things about you. The gate of acceptance was hesitantly unlocked - I opened my heart for you.

It was indeed a wise thing to do. For I have loved you so dear, and craved to know you better. Slowly you were within my grasp.

I knew actually, that there would be one time where you would interest me. And you were faithfully waiting. It was just a matter of time.

But you should know, I will not let you lead my life. I will not gamble again for my future. I fear you.

You are interesting, you really are. But my heart. There is still a small portion deep in my heart that does not deserve you.

And you should know, I am not my sister.